Quoticle – you’re screwed anyway

A man should live if only to satisfy his curiosity.

~ Yiddish proverb

Nanotechnology

I’m a big fan of nanotechnology. I actually might have been born at the right time, if I can accrue enough wealth to afford cutting edge medical nanotech.

Paradox: for someone who hates life, I sure want to live a long time, at least long enough to own a robot like “Sonny” from I, Robot and be immersed in my own virtual worlds, including fuckbots.

Rather than try to explain what nanotechnology is via cut-n-pasting from the goobers stealing from other net sources to make the wikipedia entry, I’ll give you an example of what nano means to the world:

Imagine being very much alive and awake, living in a world where every molecule is a controllable building block and every object you come in contact with is a computer. Imagine entering a room where every object can be arranged and changed at will, including the walls and furniture…change a beanbag chair into a coffee table made of solid diamond and watch it walk around the room.

Now imagine whole cities being grown in a matter of months…indeed, the whole world becoming a ball of malleable Play-Doh to sculpt as we see fit. Starvation, poverty, filth and most illnesses and biological defects will all become relics of a dark age.

Provided most of humanity isn’t destroyed by renegade AI or fucking muslim fanatics, we will have this golden age in another century…another century after that people will be as gods: super-powered, with artificial bodies that will easily last centuries, or consciousness downloaded into something akin to the Matrix, only under human control.

If we can just make it that long…

Last Comic Sucking

I was “shocked” that redneck dickwad Jon Reep was picked over Amy Schumer last Wed night on Last Comic.

Reep looks and sounds like a reject from Blue Collar TV. I don’t know why he didn’t try to latch on to Foxworthy & Co., he’d probably already be a star. Nothing Reep pulls out of his corn-pone hat will surprise Larry the Cable Guy fans…maybe that’s why he scraped by.

I’m biased towards Schumer since she’s supposedly only been doing stand-up for two years. Her comedy is sharp, cruel and distinctive. It doesn’t matter that she’s impossible to like…she’s funny, and pound for pound, better than Reep.

Had Schumer made it to the Final 3, between her, Fat Blackie and G. Dee I have no idea who would win. They’re all take ’em or leave ’em.

TV “reality shows” are always rigged in the sense that while the audience does have input (we can’t ever tell if their polling data is accurate or even real) it’s chickenshits in suits hiding behind the one-way glass that ultimately call the shots.

Had there been racial riots in the past year, Fat Blackie would be a shoo-in to win.  If it was 2008 and by some horrible anti-miracle Hillary Rotten Clinton was already President, perhaps Schumer might’ve made it.

If I had to place a bet, I’d say Reep might take the whole thing.  His broad-based brainless Hee-Haw trumps Dee’s too-rarely-funny bits, and there’s no way someone as ginormous as Fat Blackie would ever be made a star.  Don’t hate me, I’m just the messenger.

Boox is pronounced “books”

Got some liberry books.  I plan to review them if I feel like it.

Most are non-fiction, self-help.  One is an autobio of Bob Newhart.  One is sci-fi.  Will let you know.

Survey I made (should keep you busy)

44. If you were a yogurt, what yogurt would you be?

43. If you could take only one flare gun to a deserted island, what kind of flare gun

would it be? One that shoots flares?

42. Ever pee into an active volcano? Non-active?

41. What’s your favorite type of tree? Did it ever talk to you?

42. At what age did you read your parents’ “adult” mags or watch those films?

41. List three people you’d sell into White Slavery and why.

40. If you’re a man, would you prefer your “sinep”-spelled-backwards be longer or

thicker?

39. Explain why you lied in your answer to #40.

38. Would you own a laser pointer as hot as the sun? What would you do with it?

37. If you could make one race of people vanish from the earth, explain why you

chose Black people, racist!

36. Name a rare or exotic food you failed to try and now regret not trying it.

35. Would you rather be invisible but gay, or like you are now?

34. What’s the one question you would ask God(s) while still alive (you, not God(s)

33. If a close friend kicked a wino to death would you tell the authorities if she said

the wino was being a jerk?

32. If you had small, climate-controlled home, would you rather it be in a country

where you freeze your ass off for one year or burn up in a super-hot country for one

year?

31. If you had a time machine, who would you travel to the past to kick in the balls?

DIfficulty level: you can’t choose Hitler.

30. Invent a cereal flavor even Mikey would hate.

29. Name all the promiscuous female friends you know. Include names, addresses

and phone numbers…and hell, even email addies.

29. Would you trade your most valuable material possession to bring a childhood pet

back from the dead?

28. What movie, toy or book universe would you rather live in?

27. If ALL drugs both legal and illegal were available to buy OTC, which would you

choose and why? (Don’t cop out and just type “All” either).

26. Explain why you typed “All” anyway? Do you ever listen to anyone?

25. If you were a punctuation mark, which one would you be?

24. If you could party with any Founding Father, which one would it be? (You don’t

know any of them, do you)?

23. If you could shit money up to $600 a day by eating a small bowl of manure,

would you and how often?

22. If you could get away with it, would you become “Satan for a Day?” Who would

you corrupt?

21. If you could make one kind of animal, either wild or domesticated, able to speak,

which would it be?

20. If you could trade one celebrity’s life for another, which two would they be?

21. Would you ever want to visit outer space and a space station? What would you

want to do there besides sex?

20. Would you f**k Mrs. Howell if you were stranded on Gilligan’s Island? How long

could you hold out before giving in?

19. Would you rather eat an expertly prepared dolphin or a fast food whale? (You

get to keep the leftovers).

18. If you’re for the death penalty, what form of execution would you like to bring

back? Or create an original one.

17. What’s your favorite candy? Do you own a windowless van?

16. Would you want to know even the day of the week you die (e.g. a Thursday)?

15. Would you want to know the precise date of your death if it meant losing 5 years

off the time you get to live?

14. How many years of your life would you take from your own to give to a dying

loved one?

13. Enough about death. What’s your most hated food that you’ve vowed never to

eat ever again?

12. Would you change your name to Hades Clownboat or Slapnuts Lillington for a

guaranteed $3,000 a year for life?

11. Slapnuts, would you rather have the power to command all the hippopotamuses

on earth

or the ability to spell any word perfectly but only on the third try?

10. Would you rather reign in Hell or serve in Heaven? How about part time in

each?

9. What’s your favorite type of cheese? Defend your answer.

8. Do you think society should outlaw something or other that’s legal now? If so,

what?

7. If their defendants get sentenced to death, should lawyers be severely mauled by

tigers wearing boxing gloves?

6. If you could rename the Frisbee what would you call it? Would anyone care?

5. Would you rather have a partner that obeyed your every command but who

couldn’t ever cook for shit or one who argued 1/4 the time but was a kickass cook?

4. If you had a humanoid robotic assistant who could do anything (legal) name 3

things you’d have it help you do.

3. What would you name your own clothing line?

2. What’s the last thing you’d say to someone you were about to kill?

1. Explain, in two words, your philosophy on life.

0. Of love, money, hope or health, which two begin with the letter X?

-1. If you could deep-fry any food, what would it be?

-2. What kind of vehicle would a walrus drive?

-3. Do you think you’re free to go, now that this survey is over? (WRONG).