I often wonder what the Keebler Elves are doing

Those Keebler Elves are too industrious to be lovable.  As a child I ate their products more often.   There was a trinity of Fudge products:  Fudge Stripes, Deluxe Grahams and a third I always forget.  Then came the E.L. Fudge cookies, which I christened E.L. Honkies.  Those are totally delicious in every way and made for milk the way Jenna Jameson was made for porn.  E.L. Honkies are the closest thing to wiggers I like.  At least their chocolate-insides are authentic.

I don’t know the name of the lead Keebler Elf.  Like I mentioned, he’s not lovable and for good reason:  as MTV wouldn’t let any VJ become too popular because MTV was the star, that’s how it is with the Keebler cookie lineage.  IT is the star.

I’ll have to indulge in some E.L. Honkies on my next Free Day.

Yet another small reason to live.  Sometimes they add up.