TV is here! TV is here!

Mini-reviews of recent TV

Bionic Woman – lame dialogue, comic booky plot, OK effects. Michelle Ryan is perfect casting. If she was a layer cake she’d be beautiful-hot-beautiful; forget the show, you can just stare at her face for half an hour and never lose interest.

Heroes – I don’t watch it. I’m too impatient and missed half of the first season.

LOST – No. Is it even running new shit yet?

Kitchen Nightmares – Having seen an episode of the English version, I would say Gordon Ramsay is actually quite reserved on the American version. On the English ep I saw, they swore freely and in the end, the restaurant STILL FAILED.

I’m wondering if failure will be “allowed” on the American version.

The whole show rocked, not because Ramsay is a jerk, but because he’s an intense LEADER who knows WTF he’s doing at all times. He has standards of excellence and the dolts he dealt with on the first ep (“Purnima” an Indian restaurant in Manhattan) really got straightened out, then energized. It’s enough to make you cry, especially when the useless driftwood parasitic manager (also a Englishman) quits right before Ramsay is about to request the restaurant owner can Driftwood’s sorry ass.

Smallville – I’m embarrassed to admit I didn’t even know the season had started until I found “Bizarro” on the Tivo. I’m happy for Chloe, pissed that Lana lives (a blonde wig in Shanghai, way to blend in, dumbass) and perplexed at the introduction of “Supergirl”, with an actress who, to me, is not very hot (can’t Michelle Ryan play both Superbionic roles)?

Of course the best line was after Clark tells Chloe about Bizarro’s powers:

Chloe: This guy can fly? God Clark, you gotta get on that one!

Ha ha ha.

After the fizzled “Superman Returns” which had some beautiful shots and effects but overall was warped, weak and inconsistent with Superman’s true character, I say what the hell, let Clark fly already! Give him the gift of flight maybe 3 or 4 episodes toward the end (I’ve heard this is supposed to be the last season).

All hail TV. There was a time TV was a vast wasteland; that time is over. All Hail Tivo!

Tags: Bizarro, Gordon Ramsay, Smallville