FUCK FLORIDA. A Canadian-free* rant

It’s not right to shit in one’s own nest, but Florida has it coming. For many years I’d escaped this place, but being a failure has brought me back.

When I left, there were no jobs and a shit economy. Now there are tons more idiots and massive growth…and STILL no jobs and a shit economy!

The place was a Paradise when I was a kid, and it had truly been a Paradise 20 years before then. But the gears of destuction were already a whirring blur…air-conditioning and WW2 training awakened the locust human to the nectar of Florida, and they’ve been buzzing down here ever since, the massive out-of-control growth unstoppable.

I avoid Outside, but even I mourn the loss of natural beauty to condos, cubans, shitzakistan ethnics and the price of bread tied to a rocket to the moon. The housing boom bubble, now a bust, obliterated any hopes of cheap rent ever again.

The hordes never have a POSITIVE impact on anything. There’s no culture, night life, etc. Sure I hate all of that anyway and never go out, but still…

Everything closes down by 9PM like it was fucking Mayberry.

Fucking New Yorkers (which my parents were, but they moved here long BEFORE it was cool) sell out Yankees practice games, and their fucking asshole politics…good Christ. You can own a gun and even pack heat here, but how long will that last with these liberals constantly moving to town? Even the lowliest New Yawk shithead can sell his shit-shack for 200 grand, which can buy a nice McMansion down here (no state income tax). Their fucking cawps retire with disability pensions from New York, often claiming a debilitating injury, then come here and go back to work again (What does New York State do about this fraud? Nothing! They just raise taxes). Oh, and this place is so OVER-policed, the fuckers are snoring in their cruisers on every street corner while the streets themselves all have speed limits 15 MPH slower than they should be. The thing that infuriates me the most about Yankee transplants is their high taxation and liberal approaches to crime and other problems is what made their home cities way too expensive and crime-ridden to grow old and gray in, so now here they come, having learned NOTHING, and fuck up Florida. We don’t deserve this. Mr. Smith from the Matrix called humans a virus. The pixel-nigga was right.

No one in FL can drive worth a shit, except me. Over the decades the myriad driving styles from retard transplants across the country have not fused into anything civil, logical or safe. I felt safer doing 90 on the LA freeways in my Geo in a sea of SUVs then I do here driving a few miles at 35. The weather is fucked like a Thai hooker…it’s almost the ass end of October and it’s still blazing hot like it was July. Fuck YOU, Sun! I’d also like to add that I’ve never gotten laid e.g. fucked e.g. had sex within the State of Florida, and I’ve lived here most of my miserable life. I can’t even begin to describe how much I hate worthless humanity for that one. Fuck Florida. I’d burn this place to the fucking ground if I could, sparing only one palm tree and one manatee. The rest can go to humid hell, ‘cept it’s already there.

* I lied. Fuck Canada…quit clogging up Costco, assholes! Those cheese samples are for AMERICANS.

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2 Responses to “FUCK FLORIDA. A Canadian-free* rant”

  1. Digital Howie Says:

    Ha, ha, ha. Well, Fort Worth is under attach by the assholes in Dallas who’ve finally ripped out all nature and planted cement and steel in its place. So they’ve come west 30 miles to plant more cement and steel in the city, Will Rogers said, where the West begins. Now it’s the city that the Easterns (those assholes in Big D(eal)) are currently in the process of destroying by rippin’ it’s Western Heritage soul out and replacing it with another structure containing commercial, retail and condos. In fact, on one fucking street, 7th, there are currently not one, not two, not even three, but FOUR of these projects going on, all just a few blocks down from each other. So the view of 7th will now be gone to urban blight. And, in no time, these fucking glass and steel monoliths will be empty, all having FOR LEASE signs pasted on their windows, more urban blight. Thanks, Dallas, you cocksucker of a city. You dirty, filthy p.o.s. You sucker of souls. You putrid ticking time bomb of nothing good at all. FUCK YOU.

  2. motel todd Says:

    Yeah Howie nailed in on the head. This nationwide gutting of Fort Worth, Florida, etc is just part of a nationwide trend to build hermetically sealed neighborhoods for corporate clones so they can be within a few miles (if not feet) of their corporate masters at Citibank, Radioshack, Tandy, etc. Hell, theses same people could still live in the ex-urbs or high end suburbs if America would only invest in high speed rail – but the US government making a major investment in infrastructure? Keep dreaming!

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