Marc and Me: a love/hate rant

Way back in the early 90s, the four major Cocks of the Compass were Peter North, Marc Wallice, Tom Byron and TT Boy. Of course even then there were many other fellows (and hundreds more now thanks to the web and Cialis) but back in my Time of Pre-jaculatory Innocence it was possible to be familiar with every major starlet’s work and know the names of all the main cocksmen without being Rain Man.

As anyone who’s seen more than one porn movie knows, only the female faces change, a fact “mostly true” even today.

Though I look and “act” nothing like him, over time I “came” to identify with Marc Wallice the most. Wallice’s sexual adventures served as surrogate for my absent, nonexistent ones. I never liked him and still don’t, but as a familiar face in an ever-changing world of cunt, Wallice became sort of a “comfort cock”, exposed to as wide a variety of vaginas as a master chef’s menu.

Chalk it up to inevitability that Wallice as well as the other three aforementioned cocksmen fucked my personal favorite porn starlet several times over the years, leaving me with a permanent welt of blasphemy and loss.

(Aside: When a girl I knew described her feelings about the dudes in porn as “watching someone’s Jewish Dad”, I knew she meant either Wallice or Randy West).

It was already the 21st century when an acquaintance I’d met mentioned he once read an interview where Wallice described being in early morning LA traffic, smirking and gleeful that all the poor slobs around him had to go to some shit job while he was going to get laid and paid.

Whether or not that anecdote is true, I was the last to know that six years earlier, karma visited Wallice with extreme prejudice: he was discovered to be HIV+ and suspected of taking 6 or 7 pornettes down with him, making him a permanent porn pariah (though as late as 2003, it’s rumored he’s been directing/editing with his name off the credits).

My favorite line of the Wallice bio:

Sexually, Wallice cast himself out, and spent much of his time masturbating to magazines and past porn dalliances.

To this day I cannot say, “Past porn dalliances” without blasting the room with hard laughter. (Googling the above emboldened quote you can access Wallice’s personal story on Google Groups).

Over the years my pathetic life has been witness to Wallice’s many conquests, sadly lived vicariously through him; that the pornettes eternally spread their legs only for money is irrelevant. I was amazed and saddened to learn of the end of Wallice’s active career…without him I am alone, adrift on the treacherous sickening seas of present porn without his (Peter?) North Star to sail by.

I was also, of course, filled with only the finest schadenfreude that Wallice, lanky, hook-nosed, pony-tailed bi-sexual fuck machine was cast out of the pornosphere at last, as if now I somehow have a chance of catching up to the 1000s of vaginas and rectums his hooked horn has dipped inside.

What a truly pathetic and non-gay love/hate letter to a man I’ll never meet or want to meet.

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3 Responses to “Marc and Me: a love/hate rant”

  1. moteltodd2 Says:

    Good piece. I was always fond of Ron Jeremy myself. He gave me hope of eventually getting laid just because he was so ugly yet getting great tale. Of course having a horse cock and well paid women were the reality of his world. Yet his utter physical ugliness hitting some cute tail gave me hope!

    “Endurance is more important than truth”- Charles Bukowski

    The amazing thing is, he still lives and I think he’s 60 now! Lucky bastard!

  2. meatlights39 Says:

    I didn’t hate Ron Jeremy until his fat ass started appearing outside of the porn world. I’m “pro-porn” (mainly for my private use) but dead-against the “pornification” of the mainstream.

  3. shtupper Says:

    As a “Straight Eye For The Porn Guy,” I grew up watching Wallice (b. Goldberg) during the Big ’80s. Along with Jeremy, Gillis, Butler, Savage & West, he too was Jewish. Ditto for Seymore Butts, Bobby Astor, R. Bolla, Nina Hartley, Annie Sprinkle, and a slew of other big names in Erotica. Unfortunately, I still have the image of Wallice’s banana-shaped putz in the back of my mind. LOL!

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