More so than usual

Nothing has been going right today, more so than usual.

The Prick Disposable Cell Phone Company (their real name) was supposed to send me a new cellphone weeks ago.  I swung by the post office box and…nothing.  I didn’t need it, but they offered.  Like all assholes, they failed to deliver.  Literally.

Last night I dreamed I ate my car keys, so today I went to get spare keys made at a locksmith shop.  I arrived to find one of those “WILL BE BACK” clock signs hung in the window.  I’ll wait ten minutes but not twenty, I’m not in line for a fucking wee-wee nidento.  Say what you will about “evil” giants like Target and Wal-mart, but there are  excellent reasons they’re winning while these goddamned mom-n-pop stores are going out of business.

I drove in rush hour traffic only to discover the bookstore did not have the book I wanted.  I could forgive a store for not having a book if it was a supermarket or convenience store or hair salon or Subway sandwich shop.  I could even overlook an actual bookstore not having a rare, esoteric tome.  But for a bookstore to not have a series’ mass market paperback with a huge fan base in stock the day after it’s released is inexcusable.  “On Reserve” doesn’t cut it, assholes.  I want it NOW.

Jesus Christ is an American.  He loves you, I don’t.  Get a grip you stupid motherfuckers, and start making things EASY.


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