Answering a “Boyfriend Application”

Name: Darius Q. Rucker IV
Age: Beechwood aged
Height: Legs long enough to reach floor
Smoke? Just pot and tobacco
Drink? If you’re almost hot and I need a boost…mayhaps.
Drugs? You offering? SHROOMS No. 1!
What you like in a girl: Big boobs, silence, obedience, my penis
Where would we go on a date: Coffee and pussy…wait, what?
What movie would we watch on a rainy day: Ass Masters Volume 34
Would you color with me? Bitch, I’d Color You Badd!
Would you go shopping with me? Only if we have sex before and afterward.
Would you hold my hand in public? If you’ll hold my privates in private.
Would you still be nice to me when we’re hanging out with your friends? I don’t have any friends!
Would you meet my parents? Only if they’re rich.
Tattoos/piercings: Does a rash count?
What matters most – whats inside or outside?: Definitely outside. A girl can be retarded as long as she’s cute.
Favorite music: Puppies meowing
Favorite foods: All but flan and goat cheese
Do you like kitties? Big kitties, small kitties, all sizes.
Lastly you absolutely have to have a sense of humor so tell me something funny: I love you for your mind.

dirtywriter.net

http://dirtywriter.net/

Hard to tell who’s behind it, or care. Bitter, sardonic, sarcastic, caustic list after list with titles like:

8 Professions that Are More Imporatant Than Yours

and

10 reasons your life is pathetic and futile

Funny shit….to a point. Then you must stop and never return.