Archive for December, 2007

Upon reading Howington

Thursday, 27 December 2007

I’m nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there’s a pair of us — don’t tell!
They’d banish us, you know.

How dreary to be somebody!
How public, like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!

~Emily Dickinson


Apologies, Howington, I can’t toss too many silver dollars in the fountain of your comments section when I’ve got ego to toss off here.

I would kill myself if I were guaranteed the cessation of all feeling, but after living this long I know that suicide is no escape, even in death there is no peace, you’ll be back at the DMV or living a real life Beetlejuice.

Whatever awaits on the other side, be it endless torture or pleasure or taking up yet another body and resuming the grind on the blue marble, I don’t want it. Only a damned fool enjoys this Endless Stupid.

The only asshole really seizing the day is the Tax Man…he knoweth it’s harder but not impossible to rob the past and screw you today while tomorrow is already spent.

Almost 4 AM…shrooms left long ago

Wednesday, 26 December 2007

It was a hell of a Christmas.  I’m still fucked-up, mostly exhausted.  The shrooms didn’t affect me the way I wanted; they never do.  The dope was Up, then mellow, then Up & Up.  I ate too much.  It’s going to be a rough ride, cleaning up all the messes internally and out.  Now for sleep.

Xmas morning: the sensation of fellatio by way of material goods

Tuesday, 25 December 2007

Xmas morning.

I made out like a bandit in the mansion of a blind millionaire who wasn’t home because he was visiting family in another state, and would’ve had the new Brinks(tm) alarm system up except it wasn’t installed because Larry’s sister-in-Law had a baby so he feigned illness and no one was able to come out before the unnamed blind guy left town.

Xmas isn’t about the giving, it’s about the taking. I am now the proud owner of an infrared laser-guided digital thermometer, when just hours before I wasn’t.  Also got a kickass jacket and a bag of cash.


The Bed Effect

Sunday, 23 December 2007

Sis brought the greatest gift of all this year. No, not Xmas cheer, Xmas Cannabinizzle my rizzle.

Good shit. Rolled, filtered marijuana cigs from the Commiefornia State legal “pharmacy” (gourmet shrooms too, but those are for later and not from the State).

I was sober when Sis and I ventured out to shop. I didn’t like the thought of her going alone to a mall at 11PM (as in “all” female brains, Sis’s compassion module takes up an extra slot where common sense goes…the reverse being true for men) so I went along as bodyguard/Big Bro.

What you see below was bought under the influence of whatever the hell she was on…not cannibizzle but hyper-caffeine (she wouldn’t shut the hell up). We found it in the “As Seen On TV” section of the non-ironically named drugstore.

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Notice how the hyper-gay-looking boy on the box seems a little too excited for anyone’s good, then realize the whole product, box and all, is useless and insane. BED EFFECTS. You mean, there’s a whole line of products out there to pimp one’s bed?

I love LEDs but this thing is just…WTF. For 5 bucks it would’ve been cool, but they wanted $15 and got it…from Sis.

Like 99% of things in life, the pimp strip was a con. The LEDs are all white don’t change colors. See the small type: “changeable gels”. You have to manually put the half-tubes of colored flimsi in place to switch colors. Here we put two gels in it, thus it is dim.

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The “wacky” curve in the thing is probably to keep fat cats from using their own homemade gels. Xmas, treachery is thy name.

All of China Trembles in Fear

Sunday, 23 December 2007

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Another treasure from the dollar store. This fine-crafted miniature statue frightens the hell out of the Chinese wage slaves who mass-produce it.

Ceramic Eagles of Hope and Freedom haunt their sinister communist dreams.

Little do the Red Yellows know here in the USA this is known as a “gag gift”.

Nobody tell them, either!

Random Pic

Sunday, 23 December 2007

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Florida’s kneecaps threatened by the Federal Mafia for trying to reduce voter fraud

Saturday, 22 December 2007

Florida complies with federal order to ease up voter requirements

Associated Press – December 22, 2007

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. (AP) – The state of Florida will allow people to vote in next month’s presidential primary even if their Social Security or driver’s license number can’t be matched with government databases.

The move comes after a federal judge threw out a state law designed to prevent fraud. It barred voter registration when matches couldn’t be made.

Florida’s secretary of state says anyone who has been rejected because of the anti-fraud law will now have their voter application reprocessed. If the application is cleared, they’ll be able to vote in the January 29th Florida presidential primary.

About 14,000 people have had their applications rejected under the law in the past year. Critics had argued it could exclude people because of simple mistakes, like getting a driver’s license or social security number wrong on the application by one digit.

Deliberately not protecting America’s borders is federal dereliction of duty. The above article describes the opposite tactic, the wrongful use of federal force to keep things broken, stopping a state’s legitimate attempt to make its voter rolls more secure.

This is non-partisan federal thuggery: continuing to make things easy for illegals and other unqualified would-be voters, thus maximizing the number of poor folks demanding big government pay their way.

Palm Breeze

Saturday, 22 December 2007

Right now it’s 17:47 and I’m in Howieland. First I took a few small twigs of shroom, followed by “medicinal” mary…a $25 J as perfectly rolled as a cigarette, comes in its own screwtop glass tube. My whole head feels like your palm when you stick it out the car window doing 40. My eyes are painless but look like eggs and ketchup. I feel like a statue in the seat of a roller coaster, unmoving yet moving FAST. There are cookies EVERYWHERE, real ones, and fried chicken and sandwiches. The place is it to myself.

Thank you Santa!


It’s now a few hours later. I was grinning like a mild idiot watching an ancient movie called “The Manhattan Project” about a 16-year-old genius who “borrows” some plutonium and builds his own atom bomb (lucky for us, the kid is White and non-Muslim). The kid, whose acting career has fizzled since, especially compared to his then-hot movie girlfriend Cynthia Nixon (later the “dykey” red-haired wench on Sex and the Nonstop-Yapping), runs around town being chased by the actor who later became “Frasier’s” father playing the hapless military goofball trying to catch him.

This ridiculous piece of cine-fluff is saved by the great John Lithgow, who by himself suspends disbelief for everyone else. He had one kick-ass line that should be applied to all terrorists today: “Lock them in a room…and throw away the room”.

I now have a mild “stoneover”, a word I refuse to believe I coined, where my head feels like a painless ball of needless pressure. I worked out and now am waiting to see if Spike will cancel on me for goin’ out. Life rolls on a like a turd.


Wednesday, 19 December 2007

Soon enough I’ll have another vacation block of time off, the last one of the year. It’ll be harder to get personal things done during this artificially-chaotic time. I don’t think I’ll have much luck looking for a new job on 24 Dec.

I don’t want to anticipate what may not happen, but supposedly some “good shit” is coming to town this year: “gourmet” shrooms and sticky green. I look forward to altering reality, as the Usual is a brimming bucket of diarrhea.

Leave them wanting less

Tuesday, 18 December 2007

If you like Batman, you’ve probably already seen the new longer trailer for The Dark Knight. The marketing wizards have done an awesome job building hype. Fanboys and nerds are pleased and can’t wait. The trailer so far has had enormous impact, following the platinum rule to always leave them wanting MORE.

Fast forward to May ’08. You go to the theater a week after the movie finally opens. Everyone who’s seen it loves it. Burger King has the soft drink cups (collect all eight) and the toys (collect all eighteen, now or a week later on ebay). You try not to overhear people talking about it, though at your age there are few surprises. You know the story, you’ve seen it thousands of times. There will be a lone hero or heroes and villains galore, victims and extras caught between warring sides. There will be explosions and grand special effects, thanks to the Computer. The hero will confront an inner obstacle as dangerous and daunting as the crazed villain roaming around. A damsel will be in distress, though in these politically correct times she will also be falsely depicted as a tough, kick-ass fighter who even gets a few shots in but the villain is simply too strong. Near the end, justice and maybe happiness rarely seen in real life will appear on the screen. Nerds will endlessly debate every aspect of the experience, right down to the cupholders in the seats. Serious nerds will be furious at minor details not mirroring the historical accuracy and realism of the comic book. Six months later, in time for Xmas ’08, the people who LOVED the movie will buy the DVD while the nerds who HATED the movie will buy the DVD.

I’m telling you all this which you already know because what you’re going to have to learn on your own is, the only Moment you really have is NOW. It’s a pompous, Zen-sounding statement, but it’s true. You don’t have tomorrow and you certainly don’t have the past. All you have is this Moment.

You can’t simply read these words and understand…I’m barely understanding it Now (ha ha). You have to die millions of times before it starts to really sink in: the more you live in the moment, the more of you exists in that moment. The past and future will rob you less and less, and you won’t fear the next Moment.

You’ll simply Be.

Translated from the dojo:

Every moment has the potential for the Enlightenment we seek.

You’re probably wondering what the hell Batman has to do with any of this. Long ago I decided to hold off on suicide before seeing the huge summer event that was the first Batman movie (1989).

I saw it and it sucked. You saw it and said it was, “really good”. You now have my permission to admit it’s boring as hell. Keaton was a lame duck, the batsuit was stiff and Nicholson couldn’t be in every scene (merciful when you realize how gay he was).

“Weird” director Tim “Beetlejuice” Burton had no sense of timing or pace. The whole world had to sit through his artsy-fartsy navel-gazing and showing off Gotham sets instead of seeing more ass-kicking adventure. Who the fuck pays to see Robert Wuhl go on and on in a newsroom?

I liked Batman Returns much better, though it’s also a grand mess.

Oh, so anyway, since ’89 I’ve always used upcoming movies as excuses to keep me from suicide. As I learn with glacial slowness to live “in the Now”, it might be possible to wean myself off of Hollywood Hope. It really won’t matter if I do or not. I have to go on living at least until May ’08. Breathe easier, friends. Breathe easier.