Porn and Ham Versus the Siren Song of Suicide

If you’re the ‘Emperor Of The Universe’ (per another post) why can’t you exact CHANGE on this motherfuckin’ planet, nigga? And by CHANGE I mean you, me, M. Todd, S. Gary, Hip, WBM III, Capt. Morgan, etc., would be celebrated as this moment’s best authors and we would be welcomed with open arms by the hottest bitches we can imagine (and we have imaginations, by god) and millions upon millions would buy our novels, poetry volumes, t-shirts, key rings, bumper stickers, etc., and we’d be nigga rich and living like we should be living instead of working shithole jobs for shithole pay.

— Digital aka Dirty Howie

Hadn’t yet had a chance to add I’ve been downgraded to “Emperor of Only This Room I’m In”.

The practical answer to your question is that I have nothing worth selling, no novel or stories and poems don’t sell anyway. Now you could take the best from AHA and make a book out of that, with all of us pitching in on both costs and content, maybe a third of it new. The technology is now in place to self-publish high-quality books, as few as 25 or even five. A Delaware friend of mine published his own book of poetry that way. It (isn’t very good, but) looks like anything you might find in a bookstore.

The second practical answer is, if you want to publish something to get rich, your best shot is to write a romance novel (second best shot: cook book). I don’t know that most people hate their lives, but even the happy ones want to get away from themselves via the fantasies and escapism of linear storytelling. Even Donald Trump must occasionally watch movies or TV to take a break from himself–tho why would he bother when he’s a living cartoon who can blink anything he wants into existence–but he does.

I’m too disgusted to write seriously (or for long) because, “It’s all been said before, and better”, also not an original thought. There’s a better way to bliss: doing nothing at all while suffering. You have your alk and drugs, Todd has music, alk, drugs. Gary has food, alk, a pension and insanity. I have porn and ham. It would be so easy to just give up. It’s damned tempting. The way we live makes suicide the sanest choice.

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4 Responses to “Porn and Ham Versus the Siren Song of Suicide”

  1. motel todd Says:

    The biggest problem with modern writing is THERE’S JUST NOT ENOUGH READERS! People would rather surf the internet for porn or watch movies, TV, or play Playstation 3.

  2. meatlights39 Says:

    More people read now than ever! Look at those kids (and adults) lining up for days to read a 500+ page Harry Potter novel.

    Can’t blame the crowd for wanting less or being distracted. If you’re a writer, you’ll write. Anyone can write and anyone can publish. All you have to do is want it.

  3. moteltodd2 Says:

    Touche (Damn French word – 20% of the English language though). However, it breaks down like this as far as print publishing (the REAL effect of internet publishing won’t be fully realized for at least a decade or more): 33% memoirs of famous people, 33% true crime novels, 33% fiction. That’s what’s published in the US and of that FICTION most of it is genre fiction such as: horror, sci-fi, romance novels, mystery, fantasy. There’s very little market for my type of writing – at least in this country. That suits me fine though, I write for myself. It’s cheaper than a shrink -ahhahaha.

  4. meatlights Says:

    Writing is cheap therapy, hells yes. Thanks for the info about the biz. Wide dissemination of tech doesn’t equal additional geniuses. Most anyone can by a keyboard that sounds like a piano, but it hasn’t produced a million new Mozarts. Same for the writin’ keyboard. Hell, even the Orwellian “speakwrite” won’t produce a million new Hemingways or Buks.

    When I have something worth submitting, I’ll submit. Until then, drinks are free.

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