Apocalypto Now

Saw Apocalypto today.  Depressing.  Several sources claim it’s “adrenaline-rush” fast but it ain’t.  There are long lags.  Having your heart cut out and your head cut off shouldn’t involve a DMV-style wait in line.  It’s gory and violent but, like 300, there just isn’t enough (I can’t sit through gorefests like the SAW flicks but do expect more blood in these adventure/war films).

A real problemo I have with entertainment these days is the lack of even “movie” logic.  I understand that by not sending the hot teen girl into the “abandoned” warehouse to look for her lost bottlecap, no one can cut her head off.  But could you at least make it something worthwhile for her to search for, like car keys?

The problemo I had with Apocalypto is the beginning where one of the tribal elders is a dumbass whose lack of curiosity leads to doom.  It’s a miracle he lived to be an elder.  On the plus side, one of the villains looked like an asshole I used to work with, were he an ancient Mayan.  I was delighted at what happened to him and wish I could do the same to my old co-worker.

I liked Apocalypto, it’s well made, but I have no reason to ever revisit.  There’s just no point.

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