Archive for January 19th, 2008

More like Clovershit

Saturday, 19 January 2008

Because I have a worthless inner ear that makes me seasick at the slightest provocation (I feel queasy for hours even after watching something like this for less than a minute.) there’s no way I could sit through Cloverfield, which is done with the same herky-jerk “real-time” camerawork as Blair Witch.

Cloverfield reviews are mixed, leaning toward “weak”. The whole thing seems a waste of time.

The Statue of Liberty being decapitated seems small potatoes compared to 9/11. As it is, in fact, a statue, the “horror” is lost on me.

Why would I, a poor blue collar semi-genius/semi-idiot, give a damn about characters that are stupid shallow NYC yuppies more impossibly perfect than even real yuppies? I would hope they all die, they mean nothing.

There’s no reason for a monster to attack land, is there? A creature with only animal intelligence would not waste time smashing buildings, instead squeezing through them to get somewhere, probably back to the water (some kind of “anteater” type creature that vacuumed up humans with a snout…that would be more plausible than another Godzilla).

And does it matter how big you make the monster when we have the military firepower to reduce it to a blob of greasy ash?

Cloverfield is not for me.

Be advised. I eat concertina wire and piss napalm and I can put a round in a flea’s ass at 300 meters so why don’t you go hump somebody else’s leg, mutt face, before I push yours in.

Saturday, 19 January 2008

Had a few things to get down on pixels but they’re jammed up in my head. Had the day off and pissed it away. The problem is having only ONE day off in an otherwise unbroken series of workdays, there’s no time to do anything, or rather I don’t want to do jack shit.

This is the only place I have any competence, sitting in front of a keyboard. I thought of this as I brought the double-bagged cat shit to the dumpster.

Watched one-third of Heartbreak Ridge on cable. Haven’t seen it in ages. I loved it when it was new on cable many moons ago. Clint Eastwood was immortal…then sometime in the 90s he seemed to age 30 years overnight.

Heartbreak Ridge holds up well. It’s funny, sad, even touching. As Gunny Highway would say: “Panther piss”.

“You shouldn’t litter FAG-etti, it’s ecologically unsound.” ha ha ha!

I understand why cable TV has partially-censored itself on the non-premium channels like TNT but it pisses me off nonetheless. It makes NO sense if you remove the money angle (advertisers). YOU decide and consent to the content when you pay for the fucking cable box AND the fucking Tivo function. It’s a “private” line into your home, not broadcast on the fucking government’s shitty airwaves. If you can stop, rewind, even record the damned movies I don’t see why you can’t select FULL FUCKING SWEARING on the remote.

At ease.