Best place to meet your future wife? Jeopardy! tryouts

The JEOPARDY! Bangbus BrainBus came to town last Tuesday. I did not go to the tryouts and now regret the decision, not because I’d have a chance in hell of making the cut, but because I can’t think of a better meeting place to find a wife (if you’re into that sort of thing).

If you watch Jeopardy! regularly, you’ll discover about a third of the female contestants look like these lovelies.

I didn’t see the first two lasses who share the same first name in action, but I did “happen” to glean these pics off the Tivo with my camera. Yes, I’m that depraved, as the Jep! website has little to offer in the way of centerfolds.

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First up: Rebecca Watt. Unfortunately I didn’t see her play, but she’s a nice introduction.

Rebecca is pleasing to the eye but no knockout, and that’s a GOOD thing. Practical hair, sweet face, glasses, more cute than hot. <—This last bit, gentlemen, is the Secret of Wife. You don’t want to marry a super-hottie, their beauty is bright but it’s brightness like a camera flash, over in an instant (unlike the camera flash on Rebecca’s forehead…the additional head shot is for contrast).

Rebecca’s modest beauty is no flash but a single luminous candle; she’ll look exactly the same for most of the decades you’re married. You know she’s smart as a whip, having made it on Jeopardy!, and most of the people on the show are upper middle class with lucrative careers.

Next up is Rebecca K. I also missed her performance but we’ll always have this screenshot. She looks like a zaftig Allison Mack (Chloe) from Smallville and you’ll notice the beginning of a theme: huge, mighty breasts any man would be proud to have on the front of his viking warship. Usually there’s not much Jeopardy! cleavage but the clothing is usually tight-fitting. Many of these women are tall enough to give you the viewer a teasing glance.

Okay, Susan here, her pic doesn’t do her justice, it’s from the game I didn’t see, but the game after this one, which I saw but didn’t Tivo (idiot!) her hair was pulled back and she was wearing a clinging long-neck dress shirt. As per the movie Top Secret, her name must mean “She whose breasts defy gravity” and they were mighty indeed, Double-Ds.  I prayed to the Jeopardy! gods she’d win so I’d see her again, but it was not to be.

Earlier in the year Susan’s kid had already made 12 grand on Pedophile!-Jeopardy! and now it was her turn to clean up, for two days anyway. Sexy, smart, successful and a good mom? If you meet a Susan-type, get thee to Vegas!

I saved my personal favorite for last.

Angela (one of my favorite names) has one of those adorable faces that if she’s your type, you do nothing less than fall in LOVE. Sexy, sweet, sharp and admitted to being a wench at the Ren Fair with the name you see below hers. (Once again I screwed up, because the day AFTER this pic on her final day playing she wore a violet sweater that showed off her FANTASTIC body, as much as we’re allowed to see).

So, by not going to the Jeopardy! tryouts, I lost both a scant shot at being on the show as well as meeting my future wife, and I say this as someone who never, ever plans to marry.

I can always take the Jeopardy! challenge on-line on the 29th.

Tags: allison mack, angela ruediger, brain bus, chloe, jeopardy!, marriage material, meet single women, rebecca knickmeyer, rebecca watt, Smallville, susan forman, wife