A horrible way to wake up

A horrible way to be jolted from sleep would be having onion rings plucked out of a deep fat fryer and immediately dropped one by one over your morning “piss boner” until it was hidden from view. For someone like me it could take well over an hour (your time may vary) for the stacked burning onion rings to reach the zenith, finally creating a Michelin Man-style penis/onion ring-holder while the hot oil burned everything. And for what?

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