Archive for February 11th, 2008

Fuckfield #48

Monday, 11 February 2008

ff48.jpg

Advertisements

Don’t read these (knowing you will)

Monday, 11 February 2008

Fuckbot AD 2050

I finished building you
and you broke my heart again.
I had the batteries in
backwards.

lunchboxes

Your emotions and mine are like
cobras coiled in lunchboxes.
Hissing bites
washed down
with a Thermos of tears.

Bicentennial Study Hall

It’s 1976 and my cock is a little boy.

Decades later he sits sad and lonely in the college
of desire where walls burn blue
like your eyes.

How I picture government (which still sux)

Monday, 11 February 2008

Second-longest answer: a bicycle with octagonal tires and no pedals, pushed by Black midgets out of breath from singing praises to a fat-assed, self-important rider facing backwards, violently overreacting to obstacles long since passed while throwing handfuls of taxpayer money into the air like confetti.

Longest Answer:

There’s a scene in American Ninja where “Joe” (Michael Dudikoff) is slinking around a warehouse with a sword taken from some lesser-skilled unfortunate. He rounds a corner into an open space…

Four ninja leap down, each holding a corner of a net. As the net drops, Joe simply raises his sword and slices through it, then proceeds to dispatch the idiots.

TO WITNESS THIS BRILLIANCE FOR YOURSELF JUST CLICK THESE WORDS AND FORWARD TO THE 9:00 MARK.

Those four ninja are what government is to me: bumbling, incompetent, arrogant, needlessly complicating things and addicted to unnecessary force. No one on the Net Trap Committee said, “Hey, this is 1985, why don’t we all carry machine guns instead of archaic weapons and when Joe is trapped, we kill the lights and use night vision goggles!”

Government efficiency. Ha ha ha.

Advertisements