I remembered to do everything on my days off except live

The baby-faced pornette pushes her pillowy breasts together.  She looks drugged, hopefully only on the drooping meat aimed at her mouth.  She strokes it and sucks the tip, a loud pop as she pulls her mouth away.   Her only flaw is she talks like a wigger and calls semen “dessert” and “cream filling.”  Plus it’s not my ____  sexily swelling her cheek.  I’ve been eating very little this week, trying to drop 10lbs. approaching a personal barrier.   I am irritable with an angry octopus of hunger in my stomach punching the walls.  While being punched I spied a beautiful woman wearing light-skinned sunglasses in the supermarket.  Tits, ass, shorts, so cute she shits kittens.  Fug.  I walked past her feeling like a bombed-out building. Later I ‘IM’ a friend in Colorado about the supermarket beauty/women.  m39:  There’s this feeling that all is hopeless whenever I see them….and especially that there’s nothing to say.  CO Doom:  besides saying to them, ‘hello, this is hopeless.’  m39: hell, that could work.  wish i’d thought of it.  CO Doom: women suck. m39: that doesn’t help the pain tho, does it.  CO Doom:  no

NO.

This week the scientists are claiming that hard exercise for weight loss is canceled out because you eat more after a workout.  They’re right.  After hard lifting I could eat a whole couch just to taste the potato chip crumbs buried under the cushions.  I’m still working on winning and losing this burden, though what good is a ‘perfect’ body if you can’t talk to anyone.  The internet pwned me these last two days.  I surfed like a zombie, this is my drug, my poison, my living death.  I discussed writing, I considered writing, I did everything but write.  I’m gearing up for something bigger?  I’m not asking, as no one knows.  Did you know in “L337speak” FTW means ‘For The Win’?  I know it as ‘Fuck The World’.  Ours is better, nerds.  I dread sleep because I never want it to end.  Unlike this.  Goodnight.