Smallville yanks the football once again, Charlie Brown

Just finished the latest ep of Smallville.

As Lionel Luthor flew (straight down) to his death he neither shouted nor flailed but smiled enigmatically. At that moment I knew it wasn’t the character but character actor John Glover who was smiling, because except for probably a few flashbacks he’s done with the ongoing disaster my once-favorite show has become.

Once again, after waiting weeks, a new episode rewards we idiot faithful with less than a minute of action in a story that stretched 10 minutes of plot into 40 minutes of shit dialogue and uninspired acting.

Everyone responsible for this show has given up. No one gives a shit. Except for the Vancouver crew behind the camera (you know a show stinks when you’re thinking about how many crew members it took to create the sets) I sense everyone is as tired and fed-up of this show as its long-suffering fans.

So now Lionel Luthor is dead, murdered by Lex. No one knows how to react to this, including the people that wrote this crap. And no one cares.

Here’s a brief eulogy:

Lionel Luthor was a character created in probably 5 minutes. He was created as a symbol of the ruthless greed and lack of creativity of Smallville’s producers. Lionel’s creation was a risky move, since there were no comic books with his backstory to fall back on then ignore.

Depending on the Thursday at hand Lionel was many things to many people: plot device, cartoon villain, Darth Vader figure to his iconic son, sociopath, evil non-genius, corporate cutthroat, philanthropist, blind man, wife abuser, killer of his own parents, government agent puppetmaster, secret society secretary, serial murderer, kidnap victim, assassination target, organized crime dabbler, exploiter of Native American Canadians, borrower of Clark’s powers and shameless flirt with Martha Kent.

He was also a foil for Bo Duke, er, Jonathan Kent, when Jonathan was alive, but that was so long ago no one remembers.

While played with sincere competence by actor John Glover, Lionel was never a likable or interesting character. Even after he was morally “changed” by discovering Clark’s secret + getting a zap from the Jor-El ex machina, he remained more or less the same, only with a flared mullet to remind others of his ruthless leonine prowess.

Speaking of leonine, Lionel Luthor was passionately in love with the letter L. Not only did he marry a woman whose name began with an L (Lillian), there was son Lex, half-brother one-shot Lucas, Lulian the dead baby, Lana, Lason, Lhloe, Limmy Olsen, Lois and Clark. (Had Clark been named Lark, Lionel would’ve adopted him outright).

All in all, Lionel Luthor was a wonderful character who helped explain why Lex Luthor has been, is, or will be evil, except when he was used by lazy writers as filler and to put the brakes on an already plodding and tedious jalopy of a plot, or once-again threatening Ms. Sullivan.

Lionel will not just be missed but SUPER-missed until the next flashback, dream sequence or the T-1000 Brainiac replicates him to fool Lex into thinking Lex is crazy. The end……………..OR IS IT?

I also got to see the rerun of the months-old episode where Lex goes to Detroit-couver to rescue Super-Blondie. I, like the other 50 or so Smallville fans left in the world, audibly gasped (or didn’t) when Lex got shot exactly where the third eye is in meditation! I was worried Lex was going to die!–just like I was worried that girl that was Luke’s mother in Star Wars Episode 2 would die in the Willy Wonka Robot Factory before getting pregnant with Luke!

Though I still have the ep starring a pack of gum to look forward to, I still pray:

Sweet Kara, Mother of Clark, make this awful season end already.

Tags: allison mack, bad writing, blind man, clana, conic son, corporate cutthroat, deus ex machina, episode, evil non-genius, government agent puppetmaster, Jimmy Olsen, John Glover, Jonathan Kent, Jor-El, Kal-el, Kara, killer of his own parents, Kryptonite enema, lame, Lillian Luthor, Lionel Luthor, Lou Dobbs Luthor, Lucas Luthor, Luthorcorp, Man of Steel, Martha Kent, Michael Rosenbaum, Ms. Sullivan, organized crime dabbler, philanthropist, secret society secretary, serial murderer, Smallville, Smallville's shit writers and producers, sociopath, supergirl, superman, superman mythos, the CW, Tom Welling, wife abuser