Rape Whitney on Last Comic Standing

One of the nice things about losing your mind is the new reality is funnier and more interesting than the regular.

I got halfway through an article called ‘How To Make a Bow Tie For Porn’ before snapping out of it. It didn’t read “porn” but “prom” (a spinning bowtie for porn would’ve been funnier).

I missed the first episode of Last Comic Standing but caught this week’s. They’re pomping the Hinda Pie-alot but hell, at least the ad is amusing. They put 10 comics (not all at once) in the passenger seat of the Hinda and all season long, you rate them online.

This week’s comic was Whitney Cummings, a name that’s porn-ready should she fail, except I swore the TV screen’s fine print read RAPE Whitney, not ‘rate’ Whitney. Either way: Winner!

The rest of LCS was meh. There are three red ticket-winning comics worth watching:

Cabbie Guy: I’ll know his name next week, but if you saw him you know who I’m talking about. The NYC cabbie “type” with the pancake English driving cap, cigar and fluffy muttonchops. He painfully referred to himself as a loser every time the camera was on him.

Bob Biggerstaff: porn-ready name but a fat guy with glasses. Funnier than Drew Carey but we’ll see. Last year he didn’t get a ticket.

Andi Smith: made it last year to final 20 or 10. I have a crush on the gawky-tall, pale, pony-tailed, caustic redhead with a wide mouth. I don’t think she can ever win LCS because she’s a gawky-tall, pale, pony-tailed, caustic redhead with a wide mouth. But she’s on TV, getting the SMITH name out there in the world. What’s great about a woman like that is while you’re having sex with her you’re fantasizing about talking to her afterward and laughing. You can’t say that about 99.99% of women.

A lot of these damned comics are perfect for who they are and what they do; the problem isn’t them but the nature of a comedic competition for the crowd’s love. Comics are mirrors and pretty people are lust objects; people would rather look at lust objects than in mirrors.

One more thing: not to give riceburning cars any more face time here at meatlights, but a second commercial airing during LCS shows the Hinda Pie-alot encountering a prematurely-landed air balloon lying across the road with an old naked White guy in the basket.

When a second White guy pops up (what was he doing below eye level?) the First Commandment of Politically Correct Television is invoked and an old Black Token pops up at the same time as WG2 and unnecessarily explains, “We’re nudists.”

I find this Black tokenism patronizing. And it’s everywhere! I can’t even watch American History X without a Black guy getting in the way (stomp stomp).

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

5 Responses to “Rape Whitney on Last Comic Standing”

  1. Digital Howie Says:

    motel todd here: yes the comic observations seem mundane and typical of white bitter hate ( to qoute obama), yet how many of your are really willing to give the 200,000 dead the Real Conferates did in their losing war for a rebellious, political
    expression as they did between 1861-1865. That question would be very interesting to see play out . The response to this would really be a true revelation of your manhood or mediocrity.

  2. meatlights39 Says:


    ‘m not sure what you’re saying or requesting here but I’ll take an OJ-like stab at answering.

    My observations of comics and comedy are what they are, subject to agreement or disagreement.

    If you mean my comical observations are mundane and typical of “White hate”, that’s the sum of your own life experience meeting mine. If you laughed, great. If not, I have no way of knowing.

    No matter how many shit-disturbers and race-baiters Obama surrounds himself with, he remains unqualified for the Oval Office. If he wins it will be due to media-embraced affirmative action coupled with ignorance. The Obama mantra of “change” is an end-run around common sense and doesn’t hold water under scrutiny…he offers nothing new except a different face for another disastrous Jimmy Carter presidency. An Obama win will mean more poverty and hardship for the poor whom rich liberals pretend to give a shit about to gain power.

    If people were reasonable there would be no need for laws. People often vote against their own best interests and can and do throw out what works in exchange for what won’t, for the sake of “something different.” The brain’s hunger for NEWNESS is both what keeps the species alive and what thwarts it from achieving higher goals.

    The Confederate South? What more is there to say? Slavery was on the way out and would’ve vanished on its own due to technological advances. Lincoln was in the wrong and the South had every right to secede. Had the South not fired on Fort Sumter, they probably would’ve “gotten away” with a peaceful secession. After the act of war against Sumter, Lincoln had no choice but to preserve the Union by violent force.

    Tactically, the Confederacy was doomed from the start. The North’s resources were so massive there was no way the Confederacy would have survived even if the war went on for 20 years.

    Manhood? Mediocrity? I can’t please everyone even some of the time. I write what I want to write and let others decide for themselves what it means. You should get back into blogging and perhaps do the same.

  3. zippy1945 Says:

    hey man, just fucking with you!! You’ve been spewing so much anti-black crap for so many blogs I had to get a response -haha. Got a lame new blog. STUPID MODERATION. Check out DISSENT & DISCONNECT.


  4. meatlights39 Says:

    What are you babbling about? Black people love me and want me to be happy. And I them.

  5. Digital Howie Says:

    I married a black woman. Well, she was actually half-black and half-white. But, in this county, she’s considered black. Even though in public, and to my face, they treated me well, her black relatives despised me I later learned from her, she told me their comments. And, eventually, her white side came to despise me too. So she up and left me at the encouragement of her white mom. I don’t blame black or white on it. I’m just not right. Her black family knew it right off, the white family took a little longer to figure it out. Either way, I was disliked by both black and white in this situation. Shit, I don’t even know what the hell I was trying to make a point out of! Fuck it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: