Accepting that its initial reviews were lousy, I went to see Hancock anyway because I hate my own life, which needs more fake butter.
Ticket, drink, popcorn (the latter two refillable) totalled only 9 bucks, but I still felt ripped off.
The plot of Hancock was hopelessly muddled, like two movies in one and neither very good. The second half’s movie was irredeemable shit; had it had kept the dark-yet-sanitized tone of the first half throughout, it still would’ve been flat soda not worth a second sip but not, “I’ll never drink that rat-piss again” bad.
I understand people were also disappointed with Will Smith’s I Am Legend. After falling down these manholes masquerading as entertainment, Smith does try to act for all he’s worth but Christ, the secret of getting out of the sewer is not to fall down the hole in the first place.
The problem with Hancock is that it will be a huge hit. Fourth of July weekend looming with the world’s most bankable star at the helm? It’ll probably make a billion worldwide post-DVD. Unfortunately for the stupido studio it would’ve made 1.5 billion or more had it been good, fun, or both.
Hollywood is part of the great conspiracy to keep life as boring and limited as possible. The elites have all the fun shit in plenteous supply: whores, fast cars/yachts/jets, mountains of booze, pills and cocaine. They buy their way out of serving time for most crimes as if life was an anarchic Monopoly game.
The only thing the Hollyturds can’t do is make their mediocre product interesting by comparison, and so for the average dolt, everything in life remains forbidden, expensive or illegal. Out of reach.
Tags: 4th of July weekend, anarchy, bad movie reviews, bad plot, box office, electric pump, fake butter, Hancock, Hollyturd, Hoyywood, hype, I am Legend, Jason Bateman, John Hancock, kill me now, Monopoly, out of reach, shit movies, shit products, superhero movies, Will Smith
meatlights39.wordpress.com 
Sunday, 6 July 2008 at 6:35 pm |
No, shit, man. We live reality they live a dream world. No one is created equal. But, no matter if you live reality or get all the Super Models on the planet wanting your 10-inch long dick, we’re all the same: the walking dead. And that will never change. We all do two things the exact same way, however: get born and go dead. Period. End of story.
Thursday, 18 December 2008 at 6:09 am |
Did we watch the same movie? If you don’t see the brilliance of this movie then you’ve gotta be one of the most cynical people I’ve seen. You’re entitled to your opinion of course, but your review, quite frankly baffles me. Not fun? I haven’t had that much fun watching a super hero flick in a long time. Not that the standard stuff like Superman and Batman aren’t great, but it was fantastic for me to see a superhero who is so flawed and who’s actions have consequences.
A lot of your review sounds like a jelousy rant to me. Complaining that Hancock gets great stuff and you don’t (Although why you put cocaine in your rant as part of the “fun” stuff is beyond me.).
I found Hancock to be very refreshing, fun and creative. Sorry you didn’t see it that way.
Thursday, 18 December 2008 at 5:16 pm |
I’m happy you liked the movie, but as for its being good you’re in the minority on this one. Read the paid critics’ reviews of this motion picture for more perspective.
I am cynical for the right reasons, not because it is trendy.
The only people I am jealous of have achieved Enlightenment and never have to come back to Earth. But that’s another post.