Death will be my Christmas

“There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.”  –Erna Bombeck

It’s 0140, Christmas morning.  I stopped being a child long ago.  There is very little of me left.

I like adulthood for being able to tune out Christmas music and ignore decorations.  The economy has so many people on edge that spray-snow-in-a-can optimism and cheer has dropped off.  Fatigue is in the air like burning tire smoke.  I want to take a chainsaw to the size of our criminal government, carve it down to something small and useful, like a pocketknife.

I went to the drugstore to peruse the As Seen on Tv crap.  Everything was still $19.99.  No Chia Pets!

No one needs a Chia Pet, that’s why it’s brilliant.  I don’t need one: I have dope.

I’ve smoked-out only once, “in moderation”.  I felt no happier.  I am going through the motions of being alive.

I saw a girl in the drugstore.  Tan jacket and ponytail, not ugly, not beautiful, but lovely.  Life.  I looked at her head, at the chestnut ponytail.  Life.  How pointless and precious.

I didn’t buy shit.  I had bought shit earlier, elsewhere.  I averaged approx. $50 per person times 5, an enormous sum for me.

I’d make it a thousand but I don’t have it.

I hate gifts, even getting them.  Let me explain.  I live in America, do you?  We can get nearly anything we want at any time of year (if you want pot all you gotta do is befriend 3 strangers).  Gifts:  if someone I know wanted something badly and I could afford it, I’d get it for them.  The people I know need what they want, they don’t waste.   I don’t like being forced to do anything; take something pleasurable like buying a gift for someone, and make it mandatory.  That’s hell.

You cannot opt out of the gift game unless you are a hermit.  I’ve tried.  It’s horrible to receive anything when you have nothing to give in return.  And yes, I tried warning everyone I knew not to give me anything.  It doesn’t work.

I have no useful advice for surviving holidays, any of them.  Enjoy what you can.

Death will be my Christmas.   Not suicide but natural death, I can wait.  I look forward to the change of pace and new environment, even in Hell.  It’s hell anyway to be alive yet numb.

Foo, you better RECOGNIZE! Speech recognition software

Dear blog,

While trying to install my old speech recognition program I discovered that Windows Vista has a built-in speech-to-text program.  According to the people that make Dragon NaturallySpeaking, the number one speech recognition software out there, the speech recognition program built into Vista is about five years behind technologically.

I’m a little disappointed with the arrival of 64-bit architecture computers, they’re supposed to already be able to understand speech quite sufficiently. While I’m speaking now my eyes are closed. It’s an unfamiliar feeling to speak to the machine instead of typing.

I figure I’ll just use this for Jack Kerouac-speaking nonstop stream-of-consciousness nonsense and worry about the punctuation later…just throw up a wall of shit like Jack Kerouac and say that everything I do now is stream-of-consciousness.

This technology is unfamiliar to me. Other than the punctuation, I’ve decided not to edit these words for clarity so that you might see the difference between speaking to the machine and keyboard work.

There’s always going to be some obstacle to writing. Understand that when the technology gets so badass that you’ll be able to hold a casual conversation with a computer, you’ll end up shooting the shit with a screen all night instead of writing, or telling it to write.

I’m a big fan of the Terminator franchise and the more I absorb that magical world of killer machines I realize that the machines are taking the wrong approach. The best way to exterminate humans would not be to declare all-out war against them but to fatten them up by doing every possible chore for them. Why, come to think of it, that’s kind of what we have going on now, isn’t it?

I imagine all the bizarre stories I’m going to make up to tell my friends’ grandkids about how everything was so primitive back in the early two-thousands.  “Nowadays you kids can be hyped up on 10 different drugs and speak as fast as you want and the machine will still get it all. Why back in my day we had to smoke marijuana to speak slowly enough that the computer knew what we were saying! Then you’d look up and see 30 pages of, ‘Manny owes me 10 bucks.’

“I’ll tell you one thing, boys, we’re never going to see even in your lifetimes, and that’s a computer capable of understanding what the hell women mean instead of what they say!”

So far I’m really enjoying this, the technology just gets better and better. Yes, I find that for me it’s better for me to close my eyes when concentrating on what to say next, because the technology is new and I’m a little too self-conscious, as if you couldn’t tell from this messy lot of words that have to be edited.

I’m going to stop very soon.

If you go to Amazon, you’ll find that all of the reviews about the speech recognition products end the exact same way: “How do you know this program works? I dictated this entire review!”

How gay.

Beat like a clod of mud at the track

I got so excited about having the next 9 days off in a row starting tomorrow and ending with Xmas Day, I slept only 3 hours last night. The night before that I dreamed I was killing terrorists, stabbing them and biting their ears off.

Right now it’s nearly midnight and I’m exhausted, but being web-addicted, still wanted to poke around.

Earlier this eve I went to Worst Buy, the electronics superstore that smells like burning TVs. The selection of software was disappointing and the cameras were still priced too high.

There were some weirdos in there, real mutants, but so few I just felt bad there wsn’t more of a shopping crowd.

Our asshole government has people scared shitless. As long as they show a willingness to violently tamper with the economy, people won’t trust it, or them, or spend money freely. Nor should they.

I was tired enough during the day that I was already seeing things jump at the corners of my vision. I looked up from a row of uninspiring games into the wide-eyed face of a woman on the other side of the rack and nearly screamed; she would’ve scared the crap out of me if I hadn’t already dropped a horn-shaped turd an hour before.

With the last of my wakefulness I drove to Wal-Mart, which was lively while I wasn’t. They didn’t have squat and I left without buying anything. I’d been hyped to get GTA IV but the PC version sucks, requiring a monster machine to run smoothly.

I’m exhausted and am now getting out of here.

Quoticle – Wake Up

Most people on the left are not opposed to freedom. They are just in favor of all sorts of things that are incompatible with freedom.

~ Thomas Sowell

Dear Colin Powell: Get lost, and take your giant head with you

When it comes to race, the Republican Party can’t win.

Bush 43, for all his faults, not only bent over backwards but damned near contorted himself into a pretzel hiring minorities for his Cabinet and elsewhere, including Alberto Gonzalez, Condi Rice and Colin Powell as the first Black Secretary of State.

Were Bush a true conservative, he would’ve taken the hit and hired the best people for the job, not the most colorful or capable of getting pregnant.

The predictable result was Bush ended up celebrating diversity by himself, got no credit from the left wing, race-obsessed hypocrites, and we the American people were stuck with the usual doubts about these characters.

My friends, my friends, you have every right and reason to doubt these peoples’ credentials and competency. Thanks to racist and idiotic affirmative action, which sends a clear message that minorities are not good enough to be chosen on their merit and therefore need high-chairs, we can never be sure anyone selected is right for the job, only right-colored or gendered.

I would be happy with an all-White, all-male government IF they were the best at doing the job. For most of America’s history White Guys DID run the show, with mixed results (in an oversimplification: the farther back you go the more they stuck to the rule of law). If the USA suddenly had an all-Black, Hispanic, Asian or Female government, I would raise my eyebrows like Spock, and if it turned out they did the best job, I’d be all for them. I want results, not excuses, and it’s a national disgrace we have to settle for racial also-rans and female seat-fillers in important positions of power to please the libmedia’s racial quotas.

Which brings us to Colin Powell.

Powell–who has been crucified by the left-wringers many times–recently thanked his boss and his party by voting for Obama, and is now relieving his massive ego’s bladder with a sham interview, embarrassing himself by assaulting conservatives for not being race-obsessed liberals.

The only reason I can think of this ingrate would stay in the Republican party is he’s a mole for moreon.org or the HoPuffs.

“I think the party has to take a hard look at itself,” Powell said in the interview, which was taped Wednesday.

This much I agree with, not because of race but because there are no conservatives left in it. The GOP has to be rebuilt almost from scratch.

Powell: “There is nothing wrong with being conservative. There is nothing wrong with having socially conservative views — I don’t object to that.”

Wow. Let me dry my eyes after that very moving endorsement for YOUR party’s principles. In return let me say there’s PLENTY wrong with being a left-wing socialist, starting with the Founding Fathers’ distrust of excessive government power and their rejection of socialism in favor of self-determinism.

Powell: “But if the party wants to have a future in this country, it has to face some realities. In another 20 years, the majority in this country will be the minority.”

Doesn’t this sound like an implied threat? What does Powell know about those minorities that we don’t? What disgusts me the most is his notion that all the things that made America great (and liberals despise) must now step aside as Whites step down from being the majority.

Powell: “I think the party has to stop shouting at the world and at the country…I think that the party has to take a hard look at itself, and I’ve talked to a number of leaders in recent weeks and they understand that.”

Leaders? Which leaders? Where? The only leaders’ opinions that matter are American leaders, and I’m not sure we have any of those left. I would gladly have the USA stop “shouting” at the world if we could simultaneously withdraw all financial aid to other nations.

Powell, who crossed party lines and endorsed President-elect Barack Obama just weeks before the election, said the GOP must see what is in the “hearts and minds” of African-American, Hispanic and Asian voters “and not just try to influence them by… the principles and dogma.”

In the words of Big Trouble in Little China’s David Lo Pan: “Now this really pisses me off!”

Conservative principles are available to all and would be self-evident if not for liberal propaganda. In order for communist bullshit to “work” it must be constantly reinforced by the media, whereas liberty and the right to keep the fruits of one’s labor are self-evident. What in Powell’s mind makes Blacks and Hispanics unable to grasp the concepts of liberty and the free market?

I can’t guess exactly what’s in the “hearts and minds” of Blacks and Hispanics, but I’m fairly sure the government they crave protects their rights, follows the rule of law, keeps criminals imprisoned, keeps terrorists on the run and takes only a reasonable share of their income and no more.

Powell: “Can we continue to listen to Rush Limbaugh…is this really the kind of party that we want to be when these kinds of spokespersons seem to appeal to our lesser instincts rather than our better instincts?”

This one’s easy. During the election Powell was humiliated several times by Limbaugh, who rightly pointed out Powell’s endorsement for Obama was based primarily on race. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, just have the balls to admit it, Mr. Powell.

My instincts are better than yours.

Government Proudly Sucks, or Tiers of rage as I weep for cake

American government these days is like watching a 10-tiered wedding cake on a table with all four legs folding in unison.

I HATE to see cake wasted. The jergoffs we trusted to purchase the table with our money promised it was of good, solid steel, we paid 7 trillion times what steel costs and still got balsa wood table legs held together with Scotch tape and
postage stamps instead of nails.

The time for words is almost over though it should’ve been long ago.

Large numbers of people are going to have to be killed to set things straight.

I almost feel sorry for Obamarx. His pissant, wrong-headed, 500-million dollar socialist New New deal won’t help a fucking thing even when he jacks it up to a cool billion or even two bills. His pathetic ideas to get America “moving” again involve “investing” in highways.  So you put more GED stooges leaning on shovels on the median, big fucking deal.

I pity The Messiah because his four years of inadvertent recession-prolonging schemes are already completely overshadowed by the bailouts, aka The Largest Theft in the History of the World.

Maybe it’s better these numbfuck Washington aristocrats continue making the worst possible choices so revolution is inevitable.

But the blame for all of this still falls squarely on the shoulder of the People, that is, you and me.

We are the First Cause, we are our own cheap table legs. We got fat and lazy and we took it for granted that someone else was watching the crooks. It’s the prelude to every tale of a collapsing civilization.

The biggest mistake made in the past 60 years was/is letting the government run education. The Founding Fathers never addressed the idea of a “free” and public education because back then school was a luxury of the upper classes; most people were farmers or in manual trades where the younger you started the better.

I bet none of the Founders would approve of modern public education, seeing it for what it is: pro-government indoctrination camps run by a lazy, costly cartel. The Founders’ brilliance was that they had a healthy fear of government power, and rightly so. The lying fucks that run these schools are claiming government is your BFFL and deserves to be included in every aspect of your life. No wonder we’re screwed.

The bailouts happened because We the American people are by and large ignorant and apathetic about how (badly) government works and how free markets work.

We have allowed ourselves to be swindled and deserve every drop of blood soon to be spilled.

Beyond criminal bailouts, the problem remains our federal leviathan with its endless, expensive “helpful” programs, trying to poison the weeds of social ills with water and sunshine.

There’s no sense trying to save this cake, it’s already sailing towards the floor. Next time maybe we’ll make a 3-tiered cake and set it on a marble table. After a good few years of Mad Max-style hope and change.

Let your guard down and they change the layout

I’m back after a short-long hiatus from Meatlights, during which Turdpress apparently has been tinkering with their layouts.

I done been writing while away but the craptop I was using would overheat and shut off randomly, so I used that as an extra excuse not to post anything.

Now I’ve got a kickass new DELL machine. It’s terrifying. Fast. Vast. I didn’t necessarily want a new machine; tech-wise I’ve always only needed the writing-equivalent of a vehicle to make it 3 blocks to the 7-11…a moped or bicycle would have sufficed. Instead I now have the equivalent of a Stryker.

So far I don’t mind the Vista OS but it’s complicated: a frightened Hollywood forced the Winddurrs folks to put all kinds of copyright protection on DVDs read by Windurrs machines. Doesn’t affect me as I’m not big on burning music, and the best protection against theft of Hollywood product is that 99% of it is unwatchable shit.

Right now Vista isn’t selling too well but will eventually. Lots of privacy issues with it but then privacy is all but gone, not a “right” any more than gay “marriage” is a “right”.

In wealthier countries there’s a panoply of technological distractions to keep you from facing yourself and your own problems.

Hope you’ve enjoyed this one, ha ha ha.