The Cave of my Dreams

I am only pretending to like people and that’s only so they don’t murder me.  Had I the resources I’d live alone in a cave with the land around it chock-full of landmines. The cave would have at least 10 years of supplies. I’d have a low-key contract with some company to deliver other stuff.

Admittedly I would probably have a computer, television and other electronic items in the cave, but with those things the influence of Others can be filtered. There are levels of honesty, even with oneself…that’s why a lot of people with money act like such fucking pricks: they can get away with it. Had I the money I wouldn’t be a prick, I would simply avoid humanity and be polite as much as possible, so as not to be murdered.

I would have plenty of warning signs and a huge electrified fence bordering the property around my cave. I would have special effects guys create realistic looking bodies impaled on spikes.  Should people try to intrude after that, the outermost ring of landmines would spray tear gas and pepper spray. If intruders didn’t get those hints, there would be small electric cannons that shot rock salt further in. I would have a fleet of drones so I could personally attack intruders, too. After all that, the landmines would be real landmines.

Right now I can’t afford even one landmine. My options are limited. I hate people. But only as needed.

One Response to “The Cave of my Dreams”

  1. Eric Blair Says:

    very Nemo-esque. maybe this will make you feel better. It’s internet feel-good sensation “the man with the golden pen” caught standing on a street corner with a “Will write poetry for pu$$y” sign and only days later was the toast of europe

    Thank you my Friend. Dr. Phil didn’t tell me to seek help, but I did fuck a Rug Doctor in the brush head. Thank you.

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