Archive for August, 2012

Overthrow indeed

Thursday, 30 August 2012

What do I hate most about this recent bust of US Soldier “anarchists”? 

Answer:  it plays into the hands of the federal leviathan. I’m glad these dopes were stopped, as their feeble would-be attacks just give the federal mafia more excuses to enlarge and expand the police state we already live in under.

For fun, let’s compare this “dangerous” group of dipshits to the filthy muslim who shot up Fort Hood.

WHO?

Disphits: young, low-ranking, enlisted “idealists”

muslim vermin: 39-year-old (at the time) officer in trusted position of 
authority (psychiatrist of all things)

DEATH TOLL

Dipshits: murdered two “loose ends” (former friends) in wooded area to keep plans secret

muslim vermin: shot randomly at US troops on military base, killing 13.

WHO WARNED THE AUTHORITIES?

Dipshits: the two murder vics  attempted to warn authorities

muslim vermin: plenty of people observed hasan was fucked in the head but said nothing due to POLITICAL CORRECTNESS. The blood of the dead is on THEIR HANDS as much as the vermin’s.

TERRORISTS’ ULTIMATE GOAL

Dispshits: “overthrow” of government and/or “returning government to the people”

muslim vermin: worldwide sharia law; personal martyrdom

LIKELY LEGAL OUTCOME:

Dipshits: all fast-tracked to execution, except the turd who flipped

muslim vermin: endless appeals, will likely die of old age in a comfortable cell

MEDIA REACTION:

Dipshits:  hysterically portrayed by libmedia as elite terrorists out of a Die Hard movie

muslim vermin: dismissed as crazy with no ties to any religion; remember, the Kenyawaiian raised in indonesia said we shouldn’t ‘rush to judgement’

BONUS!  Army’s report on the attack nowhere mentions hasan is a muslim 

SUPPORTIVE ALLIES OF CRIMINALS:

Dipshits: none

muslim vermin: one billion muslims, minus the 6 or so who claim to be “moderate”

 

When it comes to the federal leviathan, I ain’t saying scrap the whole thing like the dipshits demanded, I AM saying our bloated, bullying thugverment isn’t worth saving in its present incarnation.  Whether you agree with this sentiment as a liberal wanting to slash the defense budget or a conservative wanting to slash the welfare state is up to you.

So what would trigger an overthrow of the US government?  It would have to be pretty big.  People are weak, anemic sheep these days.  The ongoing shitconomy, fast-filling with more freeloaders won’t help.  The corrupt and unconstitutional obamacare decision has stuffed a few thousand more kegs of gunpowder into the warehouse.  Another legal miscarriage of that magnitude and a close, hotly-disputed November election might very well be the lit Zippo.  Not that I overly care.  Unlike you good folk, I have nothing to lose.  

:> smug 

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Harry Doody

Wednesday, 29 August 2012

England, you’re being fundamentally transformed, and not in a good Autobot way. Please keep this retarded asshole on YOUR side of the pond.

I’m not jealous of Britain’s answer to Ralph Malph so much as being offended he even exists at all.

The most offensive part of the dipshits’ party wasn’t nudity, coke or weed, it’s using magic mushrooms–the psilocybin gateway to higher consciousness–as a party drug.

Fuck it, just hang them all. I’m already tired of talking about this.

 

 

MRS. SIMS? May I call you JENNY?

Tuesday, 28 August 2012

Start with this gem, an ad for TV Guide which I NEVER GOT TO SEE when it was running all those centuries ago. I agree with the many commenters who wished this was a real song.

S.K.U.M.

——————-

There are only two commercials I have never found in all my years of wasting time online. It’s possible they’re part of collections of commercials from different eras people have put on youtube.

The first is an infomercial-quailty commercial for a specialized cutlery set that “carves” foods into objects, including a watermelon whale, beautiful egg people and the excitement in the announcer’s voice reaching an hysterical climax:  “THE COLORFUL JOLLY HEN!”

A lot of people probably remember the Colorful Jolly Hen, but it has scant references online, two, I think.

The other impossible-to-find commercial is by AT&T, for a new feature: CALL BLOCKING.

Just press *67

Here’s the commercial from memory:

SCENE: Obsessive argyle-wearing NERD on a landline: (whiny voice) I love you, etc., you can’t stop me, I’ll keep calling and callng and calling…

A HARRIED HOUSEWIFE takes the phone away from her ear and punches * 6-7. At his end the NERD vanishes with an audible pop.

AT&T voiceover guy introduces the new feature: CALL BLOCKING.

Pushy SALEPRICK in cheap suit: MRS. SIMS? May I call you JENNY?

AT&T voice explains how to use *67

SALESPRICK: So how many of my fine products would you like?

The HOUSEWIFE hits the code and the SALESPRICK vanishes like the NERD.

AT&T voice wraps it up.

Now, the best part:

CUT TO: An 80s ROCK REJECT with hair like Pauly Shore sits with his feet on his desk in his room. Behind him on the shelves. among other things, sits a “morning star” mace. A two-string guitar CHORD fiddles in the background. 

ROCKER (sounding like a New Yawk wiseguy) HEY-AYYY! Ya DAUGHTER THERE?

The HOUSEWIFE lets him have it.

It’s possible these lost commercials are hidden in compilations of late-90s commercials people have put on youtube. Drop a line if you find or remember them.

Until then:

YEAHHH!
We’re coming, we’re coming
we’re coming for your young
we’re coming, we’re coming
screaming at the top of our lungs
screaming at the top of our lungs
SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF OUR LUUUUNNNNGS….

 

Another Douchebag: Antonio Villaraigosa, racist mayor of LA

Tuesday, 28 August 2012

I left California just as this self-serving, racist numbnuts assumed power. He performed, over the years, as expected. Well, no one around here ever accused Cali-phony-ans of being overly intelligent when it comes to elections. How many cities have gone or are going bankrupt there? Just keep voting taxocrat…

Recent article quote:

Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa said that Republicans “can’t just trot out a brown face” to make inroads with the Latino community, an increasingly important growing bloc.

It’s an agreeable statement when said by someone who isn’t a self-aggrandizing, corrupt jackass who has made a career of hiding behind race, starting with the racist MEChA in kollij.

A former cop I knew who had to help provide security for Villaraigosa said simply that he was arrogant and unlikable up close.  Good enough for me. 

I WILL COMPLETE WHAT I STARTED

Tuesday, 28 August 2012

The RNC Convention is going on.  I notice no differences.  I don’t even know where Isaac is.

I’m stoned.  Earlier I bought a pack of 50 nitrile gloves.  I cleaned out the desktop (computer) with canned air.  As if on queue, my new external hard drive arrived in the mails.  Porn and non-porn movies are being transferred, 124GB in 75 minutes.  I ate a foot-long veggie sub and some Chee-tos.  I have to work early in the morning.  Going to the hospital for routine blood sample (giving not drinking) tomorrow.  I got a debossed silicone wristband that reads I WILL COMPLETE WHAT I STARTED.  I got it from a cute Japanese girl with big tits (big for a Japanese girl).  She is immature but legal, I would lie with her if given the chance.

I will not be given the chance.

An Ayn Rand fan/libertarian I know texted that he is looking forward to Chris Christie’s “fiery” speech tonight.  I told him (my friend)–via text–to resign himself to imminent revolution and that Prez Romney will only delay the inevitable.  Looking forward to GTA V…it is to be a long wait, I hear.  I own no consoles and my 4-year-old compy is too old to run such a game.  Somehow it will work, I’ll make a friend who owns an XBOX just in time.  It’s amazing to come full circle and see turncoat Charlie Crist endorsing the fucking kenyan.  Well, this blog doesn’t mean shit to me.  It’s a way to smash time, like an ax on a piñata made to look like a clock.  I’m eating Planters Dry Roasted Five Alarm Chili peanuts, drinking them right out of the plastic jar.  I am stoned, I am high, not happy but content in my failings.

There are no big-titted Japanese girls here.  It’s sunny and hot outside.  I am hateful.

It’s Too Late

Tuesday, 21 August 2012

I have no fans, and that’s fine with me. Much has happened since I last picked up the keyboard for more regularly blogged bullshit. As filmed, the story would be minor happy events in an overall tragedy as opposed to some bloodless low points in a comedy. Sounds about right for almost everyone.

I’m slowly dying of some rare blood disease that damages only the kidneys. Really, I wish my kidneys would fail already. I would quietly collect SSD and get dialysis 3 times a week if it meant not having to ever work again, facing the ugliness of the human race every fucking day.

There are still a few good things left in life:  Oreos, cannabis, taking a shit, internets, reading history, jacking off. There are even hookers that will come to your door!

Contrary to what salesfolk are forever claiming, there is a time when nothing you do or try or buy will save your sorry ass. That time is called “It’s Too Late” and for me, it’s already here. I never try to tally up the reasons I have to live another day, there really aren’t any. I’ve abandoned this life…the mp3 player is still counting the song from both ends but the music stopped long ago.

I told the Guru I HATE God, but I told him in an email.  No response.  That was years ago.  When he does answer it’s usually with, “Have you tried meditating?”  He’s not being a smartass.  God is.

Sadly, there is no Satan to worship. Don’t matter who you cry out to; no god—good or evil—returns messages.

I want to get black t-shirts made with IT’S TOO LATE right across the chest in bright yellow. More than any demon, those words frighten people, with truth.

Onward, Suri Ward!

Thursday, 16 August 2012

Wanted to return to shit-ass blogging with something absolutely useless and mundane.  

Here it is:  

Suri-Ward

That’s right.  Character actor Fred “Remo Williams/Henry Miller” Ward looks like the real father of Suri “Last Samurai” Cruise, the not-so-adorable, spoiled rotten offspring of Tom “Xenu’s #1 Disciple” Cruise and overgrown elf Katie Holmes.  

Sure beats the alternate theory:  THE KID’S FUCKING CHINESE AND NO ONE ADMITS IT.