Archive for October, 2012

Quoticle: Endure Fools, Drink Sake

Sunday, 28 October 2012

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I La-La-La-La-Love Gnesa

Sunday, 28 October 2012

Yes, this Gnesa. Is there any other?

Bad singers who become famous are nothing new.

“Wilder’s” only weakness is its strength, I can’t just listen, I MUST stop everything else to watch her sexy (but modest) dance moves.

Right now little is known about Gnesa and I’m too lazy to go looking. I like to imagine her father—an even-keeled wealthy orthodontist–paid for the whole thing is support of his daughter’s dream (and the song came stock with the karaoke machine).

Why can’t I stop watching? Well, the obvious part is obvious, Gnesa is an authentic beauty; she doesn’t give a damn about being perfect. The first shots of the video are closeups and she’s got blemishes on her face, like real women do, no Jessica Simpson Photo-Perfection Program here.  Her breasts are not augmented and her sexy, silky dance moves are so slight an 80-year-old could do them without getting winded.

Another thing that would make the directors of “real” videos shit their puffy director pants is that Gnesa is not thin, and sure as hell not camera-thin by Entertainment Standards, meaning she’s fat.  To them.  I couldn’t care less about what the image overlords think, my favorite part of the vid is when she wags her finger at 2:44 and her big, tanned healthy thighs quiver, making my prick ping like a sonar.  

Image

It’s better than p0rn, because it’s real. I would’ve killed to have a girlfriend like her in high school. Or tomorrow.

The song is, well, the song. It’s easy to sing and follow along (though I do neither). It’s a nice break from all the self-serving idiots demanding everything be taken seriously, including love songs.

With the deck stacked against her, Gnesa continues to gain momentum. This past weekend the meter jumped from 1.5 million to two million youtube hits.

I’m happy she exists in a world where I’m unhappy to exist.  

 

 

In the Spirit of Bill Hicks

Saturday, 27 October 2012

Poisoned by Welfare

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Zukks quit because gays in California had just received a domestic something-or-other which qualified them for housing loans; since his religion does not condone The Gay, he told his boss he could not continue to work there.

Happily married two years ago with a precious baby son arriving a year after that, he sent out a mass email to friends requesting financial help.  I was more than happy to send him money; he had put me up many a night when I was living in my car in LA.

I didn’t realize Zukks had so many friends, with the donations he was able to buy a 70’s camper and escape from LA to Oregon, where his father had recently retired.

Life in the Pacific Wonderland is pretty sweet for Zukks. He nor his wife have to work to receive welfare benefits, he alone just has to attend certain job meetings to stay qualified, like taking SCUBA classes with zero intention of going anywhere near water.

The last time we conversed telephonically Zukks threw me a new one: it was the gays’ fault for his family having ended up where they were, therefore he was the victim, a claim so ridiculous I’m embarrassed to even type it.

When Zukks recently pestered me via texts (on his obamaphone) I went off on him, reminding him I worked and was therefore not always available.

You do remember WORK, don’t you?

He texted back: Ha ha good luck if im supposed to feel guilty for getting free stuff.

I didn’t answer.

This is what welfare does to once-productive people. Welfare–or rather the condition of non-work it enables–is the most seductive and powerful of all the addictions, more powerful than heroin, nicotine, alcohol, TV and the internet combined. The longer you lie on your back in the social safety net, the more it feels like a hammock. Every working person is a potential welfare junkie. No one is immune to the lure of paid leisure and not having to deal with unpleasant people for whatever length of time they consider excessive (for me it’s 5 minutes).

Zukks still has principles, poisoned though they are. The part of his faith about God requiring work he seems to have forgotten, but when the Oregonian System announced that in order to continue receiving benefits his wife would have to begin the same employment classes, he declined. He wants Wifey to be a stay-at-home mother, a noble goal, if they could do it on their own dime and time.

Just when it seemed Zukks was going to have to take control of his life again his income tax refund arrived, and just as that money ran out the State made him eligible for benefits again. (UPDATE:  More good news, Oregonians, Zukks’ wifey is indeed knocked up; the ensuing hospital care is on your tab)! You people sure are generous with your granola. 

I asked Zukks a while back if he planned on living this way forever. He appears to have no plan for the morrow, and the sobering truth is, he probably could live off The System forever, no matter which political party rules (we’re so far gone that as you’re reading this, you’re already thinking of someone you know who is gaming the system).

When Zukks was working, he always did quite well, making more than me most years, and that’s sans the fake degree from the fake school where we first met. Now he’s being paid by the State to fail.

I’m the first to admit failing to live up to full potential, but I eat the shit, deal with assholes and pay the fucking bills that have to be paid, as do millions of Americans. The law can’t force someone to feel guilty (even as a motivator to do and be better) but it should force welfare rollers to acknowledge, even if it just means checking a box, that “free” means someone else is paying for it.

 

 

 

 

 

MORE Musings on Dexter, Season 7–Warnin’–Speculation Ahead

Monday, 22 October 2012

There have to be families out there that are more fucked up than us, but I sure as hell wouldn’t wanna meet ’em.

—Debra Morgan

I kind of regret this earlier post about Dexter, because speculation kills the fun (and I hate being wrong).

Going over my own previous points to ready for Episode 4 and beyond (for the sake of my own Dark Passenger):

I hated Gamer Guy from the start, solely because he resembles the mop-topped nerd from Big Bang Theory, which I hate. Gamer Guy the character is pretty good though, most sociopaths are like him, not killers (for now) but still very petty and destructive.

I was totally caught off guard by the hard, sad u-turn for Louis.  I felt bad for him.  Both he and I never saw it comin’ and now he’s ‘getting his mail from the groudhog’. Gone too soon.

Pretty Boy starts a ‘relationship’ with the stripper to get inside info.  She’s as good as dead when Eurogangster learns of it.

Not really a Nostradamus-level prediction.  For now we just don’t know who’s zoomin’ who.

Eurogangster Isaac will acquire the video from the airport and see Dexter wheeling Victor away.

I was wrong about the method of discovery but the result is the same:  Euro has Dex’s number.

Dex will see Debra naked, at least through the glass. They’re going to kiss.

I still think we’re going to get the Deb (frosted) nude scene. The absurd scene where Dex and Batista get the DNA from the little blonde slut (who wins points with me for using the word ‘cactii’) is the catalyst. We haven’t seen the last of her, she’s going to be the new love interest for Dex (and reignite Deb’s feelings, this time with fierce jealousy).

At some point, an event will occur that will put Deb in Dex’s corner. Perhaps a hated criminal will walk, and she will unleash him on the bad guys.

Well, that didn’t take long. Nicely done in Episode 3 (“Buck the System”)

Jamie will be killed.

Collateral damage, maybe?  Something for Batista to get pissed about?

Masuka will almost be killed.

Yes, almost.

LaGuerta ???

I don’t want it to happen, but LaGuerta will likely be killed off, after confronting Dex or just after figuring it all out.

The Big Boss villain, the Eastern European gangster, is fairly generic so far. When an evil character says very little and acts politely, it means s/he is secretly very deadly…

Isaac the EuroGangster is here to stay. In the real world, he would stage a death squad to wait for Dex to return home and that would be the end of it. I haven’t seen Ep. 4 yet but as it’s titled “Run” I assume Dex will be warned and…go on the run, with Deb having to become a kind of ‘Chloe’ to Dex’s ‘Jack Bauer’.

An alternate plot would be Isaac, in a role reversal, losing his killer edge as he becomes intrigued with Dexter…but they already sort of did that with Miguel.  I just don’t know.   And the douchebag club owner guy that looks like “Iron Eagle”? IT’S IRON EAGLE!

All right, that’s it.  If I write again about Dexter it won’t be till after Episode 7.

 

 

 

 

Product Review: Sharpie Gel Highlighter

Wednesday, 17 October 2012

Bought an (expensive) 2-pack of these Sharpie Gel Highlighters because of intriguing claims: no smearing or bleeding of ink and will not dry out even if you leave the cap off for days.

I was thrown off guard, I think, because gel ink pens have been around for decades and write like regular pens.

Gel Sharpies, however, aren’t like regular highlighters only with gel as a medium…what you get are pen-like sticks that advance an oval-shaped “Slim Jim” of clear, neon-yellow gel  when you twist one end like a deodorant stick.

The Sharpies live up their claims, the gel is odorless and silently glides over the page, leaving a bright, waxy line that won’t smear, but because the slab changes shape from being pressed like a crayon, you never know where your next line will appear.

I found myself coloring blocks of text to the point it was taking away from the source material.

Per the Amazon reviews, these new gel highlighters have their fans, but I’m in the other camp. I don’t think I’d buy them again.

 

Whatever happened to that girl?

Wednesday, 17 October 2012

I should probably say a few words about this post.

No, I didn’t eat her pussy, because I never met up with her, as predicted.

On the appointed day I texted her the website of the sushi/buffet along with a time to meet. I have a pay-as-you-go cell so it took forever.

Her response was: “Huh?”

So I canceled.

Hours later she texted, inviting me to go for a walk on the beach. Usually with the ladies that’s a good thing, but she wanted to go around 5 pm; she’d already told me, “If I really liked you (romantically) I would be so shy I wouldn’t be able to talk to you.”

I didn’t answer her invite. I wouldn’t put up with this shit from friends therefore I couldn’t put up with it from her.

Besides, after her reject I got stoned.  Being stoned, I wasn’t about to go to the buffet alone.

I’ve seen her since. She’s mad at me, of course. A Japanese-Irish girl.

Imagine how bad it would be if I cared.

Earth Arrow

Wednesday, 17 October 2012

One of the best scenes in the pilot for Arrow had a giant lit-up earth hung in the background.  Where is it located?  In what building?

Musings on Dexter, Season 7–Warnin’–Spoilers and Speculation Ahead

Sunday, 14 October 2012

Masuka: I was ready to blow you!
Dexter: Not necessary.

I love Dexter, it’s my favorite show of all time, and after 6 incredible seasons it seems petty to complain about any of it. If the last 2 seasons are utter crap (an impossibility) it won’t matter, it’s been an amazing ride, and Dexter Morgan is one of the most beloved characters of all time.

Since people complain about everything, including stuff they love: while the average episode of Dexter dominates even the best of most other shows, last week’s ep, the first ep after Deb discovers Dex is a killer, was one of the weakest.

In all fairness, there was no way “Sunshine and Frosty Swirl”, Episode 2 of Season 7, could possibly top the first (Are you…?). Ep. 2 almost had no choice but to be a ‘setupisode’ where very little happens and the tone for the season is set.

That would be OK, except what transpires doesn’t make sense.

So now Deb knows, and had to choose between several options: turn Dex in, kill Dex, keep Dex’s secret. She chooses to keep Dex’s secret, a plausible reaction for the character as well as the continuation of the series.  Where the writers
screwed up was the scene where Dexter explains why he’s a serial killer (and the Bay Harbor Butcher, though she doesn’t call him that).

It’s bad lines for both characters. Instead of having Dex desperately appeal to Deb’s cop side and explaining the logic and methodology of Harry’s Code, the writers made Dex’s defense meandering and lazy (we’re talking about the rest of his life here!) and Deb react in a horrified, stilted way that, to me, was out-of-character for a hardened detective. Deb’s ‘solution’ of babysitting him around the clock makes zero sense, unless…

Unless the incest storyline will be pursued.

I watched all 6 seasons of Dexter almost at once, never consulting wikipedia or any other source so as not to spoil things. I only recently discovered that in real life, over a few short years, Hall and Carpenter dated, married and divorced, a real-life shocker on par with Julie Benz’ departing the show.

Not being there, I can only assume that during their brief union, H & C brought up the incest idea at a creative meeting. I imagine the two of them excitedly pitching this idea to the writing team, and everyone just looking at each other, smiling weakly and saying nothing, hoping their eyes don’t give away the panicked incredulity they must have felt in that moment.

Not that the incest idea is entirely implausible (Dex and Deb are not blood-related siblings) but it really just seems an extension of a crazy idea two actors had while married.  Deb’s stupid shrink brought it up near the end of Season 6, but even then the connection just didn’t seem authentic; over the years Deb has hooked-up a lot and dated an amateur boxer, Frank Lundy, the Black Guy (now the ‘bodyguard’ on Arrow) and had a fling with Detective Pretty Boy. The idea that ALL of these were somehow surrogates for Dexter (even Lundy?) just didn’t gel with me.

And now, well, the show is still going through with it.  

Currently Dex is forced to sleep in Deb’s bedroom so he can’t ‘sneak out’, and say, isn’t it oddly convenient that Deb’s bathroom door has a full-length frosted window, perfect for nude silhouettes?

The Big Boss villain, the Eastern European gangster, is fairly generic so far. When an evil character says very little and acts politely, it means s/he is secretly very deadly, as proven with the former strip club bodyguard getting a screwdriver through the eye socket.

The biggest logic fail of this ep isn’t even between Deb and Dex, it’s Dex’s dealings with Gamer Guy. I hated Gamer Guy from the start, solely because he resembles the mop-topped nerd from Big Bang Theory, which I hate.  Gamer Guy the character is pretty good though, most sociopaths are like him, not killers (for now) but still very petty and destructive.

Dex doing recon in Gamer Guy’s pad and then threatening him was reckless but plausible, but after discovering Gamer was a fearless sociopath, returning to the pad and injecting the guy made no sense.  Gamer was an asshhole and a threat, but still did not meet The Code, so what was Dex going to do after kidnapping him? And even if Dex hadn’t called Deb (stupid stupid stupid) he had no way to get rid of Gamer for good, as Deb would’ve figured it out immediately.

I saw the very fast chopped scenes of events to come throughout the season a total of once, and haven’t looked at it since. I do remember Gamer Guy isn’t going away any time soon and will become more dangerous.

What follows is pure speculation, much of it obvious:

Pretty Boy starts a ‘relationship’ with the stripper to get inside info.  She’s as good as dead when Eurogangster learns of it.

Eurogangster will acquire the video from the airport and see Dexter wheeling Victor away.

Dex will see Debra naked, at least through the glass. They’re going to kiss.

At some point, an event will occur that will put Deb in Dex’s corner. Perhaps a hated criminal will walk, and she will unleash him on the bad guys.

Later Deb will end up saving him, based on knowing his secret.

Jamie will be killed.

Masuka will almost be killed.

LaGuerta ???

One more thing, let’s hope “blood spaghetti” never makes a return cameo.

 

Blood Pascetti

Semi-humble take on VP debate

Thursday, 11 October 2012

Watched the VP debate because I’d already jacked off earlier.  

Biden clownish but somewhat effective.  Ryan not as polished as expected; should’ve punched harder, especially when you only get one shot.

The Kenyan attended the wedding of the moderator 20 years ago.  Maybe it means nothing, but you can bet your ass the lamestream-media jerkoffs would be crying foul if it was Romney who knew the mod in the same scenario.

Why was it a big deal that Ryan didn’t have “budget details” when His Majesty has never passed a budget his entire time in office?

Biden looked foolish, trying to justify his faith as a “pro-choice Catholic”.  Why stop there?  Be an anti-cannabis stoner and multi-racial klansman.

Conservatives look like idiots when they claim to desire smaller government yet push the abortion issue.

Liberals look like idiots when they claim a woman has a right to control her own body and that the relationship between a woman and her doctor is “sacred”.  Do any of you ladies believe that they believe you have a right to control your own bodies?  If so, try lighting up a joint or selling your pussy.

Abortion is a moot campaign issue anyway, meaning no President could overturn Roe v. Wade if s/he tried.  The “supreme” court is shit now anyway; enemies of the people.

Biden kept saying RESPONSIBILITY over and over, but only when referring to the Afghans taking over “defense” of their terrible country.  Ryan didn’t say it either, but it was extremely odd to hear a taxocrat saying it.  Since when does the Party of Victimhood endorse RESPONSIBILITY for anyone?

Neither side won any converts.  

Revolution is still imminent, ten years or less.