I don’t like the subtitle. “THE FORCE AWAKENS” promises some stupid shit/tampering with the Force concept, just like midichlorians.
Yoda, Darth Vader, Emperor, Boba Fett will all be in it: oh, c’mon, these guys ARE Star Wars. They’ll be back in dreams / flashbacks / computer holofiles and they sure as hell will be back as TOYS. (Yaay!)
Slow-motion lightsaber shit: rehashing of specific and popular violent special effects of the last 10 years, particularly the slowed-to-a-crawl-then-sped-up attacks from 300. I also expect the ‘lightwhip’ to show up. If you don’t know what that is, congrats on having a life.
Droid’s Eye View: we get to see how R2 and 3PO see the world. Do info and numbers run across their viewports like the Terminator’s? Who can know? Or care? Besides me?
Android: Droids that look exactly like humans (at least one).
Jedi Wookie: there is one in the novels (though the novels are being ignored) and it would be cool; (don’t kill Chewie, either.)
Planet(s) will die: the director destroyed two planets already in Star Trek. All bets are off.
Superweapon Mania: if it’s not Death Star 3.0 it will be very close to it, or multiple smaller Death Stars.
THE ARTIFACT: Hitchcock called it the McGuffin, either way it’s an object to build a movie around.
Endless chase scene: a battle to end all battles that starts in space, goes to atmosphere/sky, then ocean/swamps on speeder bikes, then….
Tatooine: it’s expected.
Dagobah: someone else has to visit THE CAVE to foresee the plot of Star Wars 8
Hoth: maybe.
Endor: no.
The Jedi Academy: very likely.
References to anything prequel-related: present but hopefully extremely limited
A subtle insult to George Lucas for “ruining” Star Wars with the prequels and endless tampering with Eps. 4-6: we can only hope.
Darth Maul: probably not the actual Darth Maul, but a Zabrak, the alien race Darth Maul was/is.
Jabba the Hutt/Hutts: probably not the actual Jabba, but a Hutt, the alien race Jabba was/is.
Losing more limbs: heroes will be losing limbs and getting robot limbs.
Offspring of Luke or Han/Leia turning to Dark Side: likely, if there is no Sith element, this, will be…this…will be…
Sith: 80% likely to appear, 100% via “holocron.”
Death of Jar Jar Binks: this is more of an intensely strong suggestion than prediction. Having Jar Jar die a horrible, fiery (but “heroic”) death would add an additional half-billion to what will likely be the first movie to top 2 billion dollars.
Politics: I pray the story stays just that: a story from, “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away….”
Fans/nerds will be reading shit into it and seeing things that aren’t there no matter what, so PLEASE no “hard-hitting” fucktarded messages about saving the environment, bullshit global warming, the evils of greed (Hi Disney), etc.
PRE-PLANNED FAN RAGE: the creators will deliberately fuck up something sacred to enrage fans and then leak it early, which will in turn provide millions in free advertising.
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