Archive for October, 2015

Fuck The Simpsons, right in the neck

Saturday, 17 October 2015

“I’m old enough to remember when The Simpsons was funny!” I whinged, shaking my cane at the sky as my long white beard billowed in the breeze.

To answer your first question, I “tape” the show and half-watch it during dinner. Force of
habit after 2.5 decades. I do not expect to laugh and am never disappointed. The most I get
out of an entire episode is a slight chuckle.

TWELVE screenwriters worked on The Simpsons Movie, including Matthew Groaning, esteemed creator. The result was mediocre at best. I barely laughed in the theater and have never watched it again. Marge said, “Somebody throw the God-damned bomb!” which is something Marge would NEVER say.

What prompted me to write about The Simpsons now after a decade(s) of unfunny shows? I was horrified by the episode “Puffless.” For some reason, the “comedy” writers went on a tangent where Maggie communicates wth woodland creatures, which is straight-up Merrie Melodies nonsense. The Simpsons is supposed to be an ‘adult’ show so I wondered who the hell the “writers” were targeting with this cutesy unfunny story arc (the main story of Patty and Selma quitting smoking was absolute shite as well).

I cringed throughout the entire battle where Cletus’s poor hound dog is tortured—FUCKING TORTURED—by Maggie and a gang of animals in order to free a possum. It must be “funny”
because other animals are hurting the dog and not a human.

Simpsons shite is so out of hand there are critics analyizing every episode like it’s Masterpiece Theatre. Once upon a time the sight gags were funny, now rubes are expected to DVR-freeze every other frame looking for inside-jokes-within-inside-jokes, not just Bart’s writing on the chalkboard.

The show continues because somehow it’s still making money, but for most fans it’s now a matter of morbid curiosity, how much longer can they milk this shit-show before cancellation?

Since obozo was elected twice by grubers, it’s going to be awhile.