How to easily beat Arkham Knight’s Cloudburst Tank–Updated Feb 2018

SPOILERS MY ASS, the @#!@#! game has been out for over 5472 hours.

I’ve been playing Batman: Arkham Knight for a few months. The inclusion of the Batmobile has been a mixed blessing. It’s used cleverly in some puzzles and can be an awesome ally, but tedious mandatory tank battles ruin the fun factor somewhat. One youtuber said it best, “I got this game to play as BATMAN, not the Batmobile.”

In a way, the game “cheats.”  The Batmobile is difficult to drive and destroys nearly everything in its path, yet can get snagged on a curb or stoop and certain small trees which cannot be run over (but will fall if directly shot).  While not a deliberate handicap, the perspective of the Batmobile shrinks almost to the size of a Matchbox car whenever there’s a Missile Lock.  Some gamers do better driving in the first person perspective and this stupid feature robs them of it.

Arkham Knight, nearly-perfect in every way, is almost completely ruined by the Cloudburst tank battle. Even set on EASY it’s NOT.  A game should be challenging, not infuriating. 

Some designers somewhere are patting themselves on the back for making the Cloudburst Tank level next-to-impossible. TANKS FOR NOTHING, DICKWEEDS.  What their fellow game creators forgot is that when you piss off gamers to the point they totally give up, they don’t buy future downloadable content.

Fortunately, one gamer has made the Cloudburst battle winnable with little stress. His strategy was perfect except for one missing piece, the coordinates of the Gotham Casino. And here they are: 1938, 2300 approximately.  (The casino building has the circumference of a small tower, making it easy to hide behind).

Besides upgrading the armor of the Batmobile I’ve found two upgrades to be essential: the special 60mm cannon shot upgrade which fools Cobra tanks to head for where the shot landed, and the Drone Virus. Half the time the EMP doesn’t do shit, so go with the Virus.  Not only can you upload a virus to the smaller tanks but to the Cobra tank as well, most hilarious and satisfying. If the hijacked Cobra wins against another tank, it then conveniently explodes.

I haven’t met the ‘Deathstroke Tank’ yet but am already annoyed it’s in the game. We’ll see.

FEB 18, 2018 UPDATE

The Deathstroke Tank was a massive disappointment, as most of you know by now.

Moving along, I haven’t played any PS4 game in over a year. I don’t plan on buying anything else until the next Batman (or Superman) game and by then there might be a PS5.

I bought all of Arkham’s “extras” and had beaten 90% of the game when the unthinkable happened. When I first got the game I played to get the feel of things and got maybe 2% in, then began a new game in earnest. On the “Are you sure?” save screen, because I had two games saved, the test game and the almost-done game, there was always a choice between the 2% and the 90% complete.

Yep, you guessed it. Erased the wrong one.

I didn’t feel too bad about it since I already knew thanks to the Riddler’s impossible challenges I would never reach the “Full ending” which I watched later on fooltube anyway.

I played the Robin minigame and gave up.
Payed the Batgirl game, gave up.

Oh, so one more useful tidbit. The ACE Chemicals courtyard finale is the first time I remember being overwhelmed by tanks as well as the #@!#@! helicopters. After getting my ass kicked repeatedly I thought, Batman is smarter than this, and used a rubber band to lock the controller’s trigger so the minigun was constantly firing. It worked!

So that’s it. I’m sick of buying Walmart corndogs so I’ll be laying off them for a while longer.

 

 

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2 Responses to “How to easily beat Arkham Knight’s Cloudburst Tank–Updated Feb 2018”

  1. ali Says:

    thank you for the coordinates of the Gotham Casino
    I beat arkam knight very easy thanks to your
    coordinates

    • meatlights39 Says:

      You’re welcome. If you buy the grapnel booster and get it to full power you can glide around the city almost like Superman. Also, the freeze gun is sitting on a fucking nightstand next to the cells where Bats is housing the infected civilians. Just sitting there!

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