Archive for January 8th, 2020

The Adorable Last

Wednesday, 8 January 2020

I christened the lovely Maryann Penzvalto the penultimate Jeopardy! hottie but meant penultimate not as a rank but merely as, “last but one in a series of things; second last.” 

This my final (as the Chinese might say) Jeopardy! Make Glorious Female to Celebrate Observatory Review.

 

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Psychology research indicates women choose kind, considerate, financially dependable fellows for marriage but long-haired, bad boy, roid-raging toughs for flings, aka fucking.

Men take a similar path. Hot, slutty thots with titties the size of blimps, shapely rumps and legs are for play while sensible, cute women with a pleasant personality are for marriage. 

Cute in this context is not just another adjective, it’s everything.

So, in the spirit of shallowness, allow to me to explain that for the long haul, Cute beats Hot every time.

“Hot” is a short-lived phase in any woman’s life.  Much of a hot woman’s time and energy is spent trying to maintain an impossible level of beauty even while at her peak.  Men fight for her attention like noisy seagulls chasing a french fry, trying anything and everything to win her favor. A hot woman hooked on this level of adulation is less likely to learn other life skills; this is where cute girls and women have a long game advantage.

More people agree on standards of beauty than cuteness, so cute women (and men) are often overlooked. This forces them to try harder and learn useful things.  A cute woman really has the ultimate advantage:  cuteness can last an entire lifetime with minimal maintenance.  It is the slow-and-steady-wins-the-race form of beauty. Cute women are capable of turning up the heat, glowing beautifully or sexily in short, precious bursts while hot women supernova and contract into a smaller star.  An older hot woman can never be cute, just compared to how hot she was “long ago.”

(Worry not, ladies, there are millions if not billions of men who will take anything they can get, some of whom are wealthy.)

Ben Franklin noted every woman has something going for them: butterfaces still take great pride in their bodies and women with neither outstanding faces nor bodies take pride in their skills and abilities. (Remember, the guy on our $100 note wrote that if you put a basket over an older woman’s head it’s just like fucking a young one, since age starts in the face and works its way down.)

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karen farrell grid photo

Jeopardy! winner Karen Farrell is the total cute package and marriage material. (Someone thought so, and already married her.) 

Farrell looks like actress Megan Boone, who plays Elizabeth Keen on The Blacklist, only Karen is far more adorable.  Tastefully hiding her wonderfully enormous endowments with overcoats, Karen also has the perfect smile and cheeks which were likely endlessly pinched as a kid (a veritable #metoo crime today.)

The combination of stage lighting as Karen described her new role as a stay-at-home mom to baby Elizabeth gave her a bright, golden aura.

It may have also cost her tonight’s game. Remembering her little one distracted Karen at a time the sharp-as-a-razor granny at the other end of the dais wasn’t taking prisoners. No matter, we’ll see Karen Farrell again during the next Jeopardy! Tournament of Champions.

Stay tuned.