Jeopardy!—We’re All Stars Now, in the GOAT Show

The Jeopardy! folks fucked up.  Why in the hell would they run the GOAT show on another channel?  I had no idea it was on and missed all but the last 10 minutes of the first episode.  Caught the middle ep but not the last (final?) one, now saved on the box and waiting for Sunday.  I have my suspicions about who won.  You could be a dick and spoil it in the comments but there’d no payoff for you as I don’t care. 

I happened to be an avid watcher during Ken Jennings’ 2004 run.  Everyone was amazed and thrilled with the winning streak, less so, I think, with Ken himself.  A friend told me he saw an interview where Jennings referred to himself as a “genius,” and that was the end of Jennings for me.  (There are two things in life you cannot seriously call yourself, a genius and an old soul.)

Nothing much happened Jeopardy!wise until Holzhauer.  He, too, was thrilling.  At first.  Soon I became a ‘Holzhauer hater,’ not of him in real life but as his game show “character,” starting with his dubious claim of a career in sports betting.  I didn’t care for that weird non-smile of his either. 

As Holzhauer’s wins grew I suspected he was cheating, damned if I knew how.  It would be extremely unlikely but not impossible.  Maybe he makes it on his own for a week when a disgruntled clue writer makes him an offer: “Give me half your winnings and I’ll give you the categories/answers in advance.”  Maybe two of the buzzers aka signaling devices are rigged to misfire every 3 clicks.  Absurd?  Stranger things have happened.   

What is Jeopardy! really?  A memory recall game of factual data based on speed. Finally I admitted “Jeopardy James” (I hate that title) wasn’t cheating and was what he appeared to be: well-studied and able to accurately recall information faster than his opponents.  He seemed to have mastered the signaling device early on and his strategy of huge bets and sweeping the bottom row obviously worked.  He also got another advantage that had nothing to do with skill.  I could be imagining this, but didn’t regular shows have a long-assed pause for Teen Week or something?  That may have broken Holzhauer’s rhythm but given him plenty more time to study. Towards the end of his run I savored every answer he missed, especially the few he missed but I got.

Gradually I began to hate Holzhauer’s opponents almost as much as him. Even after the long Teen break, new contestants still seemed oblivious to whom they were going up against.  Their only hope was to rob His Smirkness of the Daily Doubles.  It was an evening of cathartic joy when that very thing happened and he was finally taken out by a one-hit-wonder woman, same as Jennings had.

I underestimated Holzahauer’s effect on the game itself, I thought he’d changed it forever, like the Fosbury flop changed the high jump.  But no, bozos still waste time reading the entire titles of categories instead of one key word.  They still don’t sweep the bottom row, even in categories they might be strong; rarely do they go big on bets except in dire straits.

I haven’t much to say about Rutter as I never heard of him or saw him compete before last year’s Tournament of Champions Group Orgy or whatever TF it was called.  Rutter won the most Jeopardy! money ever you say? Ha. That wasn’t going to save him during the GOAT show, and from what little I saw it did not. Still, I found myself rooting for Rutter, because he was the least unlikable.  Probably he’s  as arrogant as the other two, just able to hide it better. Being the least nerdy/most handsome of the GOATS I understand he parlayed his winnings into a career in Hollowood but have never seen him in anything else. Of the one and one-eighth shows I watched he was losing badly.

So did Jennings win? Last I saw he’d won two games to Holzy’s one and Rutter’s none.

I would be a smidge happier if Jennings won.  But not really.  

 

 

The Adorable Last

I christened the lovely Maryann Penzvalto the penultimate Jeopardy! hottie but meant penultimate not as a rank but merely as, “last but one in a series of things; second last.” 

This my final (as the Chinese might say) Jeopardy! Make Glorious Female to Celebrate Observatory Review.

 

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Psychology research indicates women choose kind, considerate, financially dependable fellows for marriage but long-haired, bad boy, roid-raging toughs for flings, aka fucking.

Men take a similar path. Hot, slutty thots with titties the size of blimps, shapely rumps and legs are for play while sensible, cute women with a pleasant personality are for marriage. 

Cute in this context is not just another adjective, it’s everything.

So, in the spirit of shallowness, allow to me to explain that for the long haul, Cute beats Hot every time.

“Hot” is a short-lived phase in any woman’s life.  Much of a hot woman’s time and energy is spent trying to maintain an impossible level of beauty even while at her peak.  Men fight for her attention like noisy seagulls chasing a french fry, trying anything and everything to win her favor. A hot woman hooked on this level of adulation is less likely to learn other life skills; this is where cute girls and women have a long game advantage.

More people agree on standards of beauty than cuteness, so cute women (and men) are often overlooked. This forces them to try harder and learn useful things.  A cute woman really has the ultimate advantage:  cuteness can last an entire lifetime with minimal maintenance.  It is the slow-and-steady-wins-the-race form of beauty. Cute women are capable of turning up the heat, glowing beautifully or sexily in short, precious bursts while hot women supernova and contract into a smaller star.  An older hot woman can never be cute, just compared to how hot she was “long ago.”

(Worry not, ladies, there are millions if not billions of men who will take anything they can get, some of whom are wealthy.)

Ben Franklin noted every woman has something going for them: butterfaces still take great pride in their bodies and women with neither outstanding faces nor bodies take pride in their skills and abilities. (Remember, the guy on our $100 note wrote that if you put a basket over an older woman’s head it’s just like fucking a young one, since age starts in the face and works its way down.)

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Jeopardy! winner Karen Farrell is the total cute package and marriage material. (Someone thought so, and already married her.) 

Farrell looks like actress Megan Boone, who plays Elizabeth Keen on The Blacklist, only Karen is far more adorable.  Tastefully hiding her wonderfully enormous endowments with overcoats, Karen also has the perfect smile and cheeks which were likely endlessly pinched as a kid (a veritable #metoo crime today.)

The combination of stage lighting as Karen described her new role as a stay-at-home mom to baby Elizabeth gave her a bright, golden aura.

It may have also cost her tonight’s game. Remembering her little one distracted Karen at a time the sharp-as-a-razor granny at the other end of the dais wasn’t taking prisoners. No matter, we’ll see Karen Farrell again during the next Jeopardy! Tournament of Champions.

Stay tuned.

 

 

2018 Jeopardy! Sexbomb alert

Note from Jan 2020:  I’m surprised people still read this post and the other Jeopardy! women posts.  It’s pointless.  I know I’ve written it elsewhere but here it is again:  highly intelligent women are not the answer.  Sapiosexuals are probably a myth.  I don’t care about any of these women, they don’t exist anymore, just like the fool who wrote about them doesn’t exist anymore.  Enjoy!  

About a year ago I started watching Jeopardy! again.  On a good night I get maybe half the answers right, but those good nights are rare.  There are too many lakes and Canada questions, plus FUCK OPERA.

For a brief time years ago, I was cataloging Jeopardy! Sexbombs.  Not many, a few.  A commenter who knew one of the ladies suggested the contestant would not be flattered by my admiration of her ‘giant rack’, or words to that effect.  Also, I updated that post last year, regarding being a male sapiosexual and how it won’t help you.  I’m too lazy to look.

So: Rachel Lindgren:  

This unassuming 26-year-old ‘Fire Lookout’ from Bend, Oregon just does it for me.  She’s soft-spoken and incredibly sensuous, especially when she tilts her head ever-so-slightly.  Yeah, I’m smitten.

Plus I believe she has a somewhat rockin’ body under those schoolmarm sweaters.

I hope she makes it 5 days so we’ll see her again in the Champions thingy.

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CODA:  Well, Rach finally took a shit but made it to 5 days.  I don’t expect her to last more than a night during the Champions Week.  If there’s one thing Rach taught us, when you’re clueless about the Final, bet small and let your opponents trip over their dicks.  Is it a perfect stratagery?  Hardly, but it worked for her.  

 

HONORABLE JEPS! MENTION:  Flora Leen. Appeared One Night Only.  Bigguns, long dark hair, eyes.  Her kavorka was even more powerful than R’s.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Jeopardy! Clue Crew Hotties

I got nothin’, not even any new Jeopardy! hotties to comment on, so I’ll turn my attention to the Clue Crew hotties, Kelly Miyahara and Sarah Whitcomb.

I don’t want to take away from their intellectual accomplishments but I find them quite hot, which is the point. Both have fantastic, rockin’ bodies but for me Miyahara has a slight edge ’cause even in a post-surgery world you don’t see many stacked Asian women, not like that anyway.

I’m greatly disappointed by the dearth of images of these women on the intertubes, but it makes sense, they must deliver important information and they’re distracting enough fully clothed.

I am not the nerd in this pic but I would like to be, a nerd of meat in a Clue Crew Sandwich (or for you more refined intellectuals, a ménage a clue).

In other news, I’ve decided to commit suicide in 2013 if certain goals of mine aren’t achieved. That way, if the world ends in 2012, no one will notice.

Another Jeopardy! Ball-Churner

There hasn’t been a hottie on America’s favorite trivia game show in awhile.  Kara more than makes up for this.  She would’ve made a better Supergirl than the eponymous ‘Kara’ on Smallville.

Kara lasted two days on Jeopardy! to my none.  She’s a high school history teacher and, being as hot as she is, has great potential to end up on The Smoking Gun.

She told Alex one of the two foreign language phrases she used while vacationing was something to the effect of:  “Is it OK to swim naked here?”  I think Trebek went home and masturbated furiously.  Wait, that was me, except it couldn’t have been, since Trebek had to go home and I was already home.

More Jeopardy! sexbombs (Updated 2017)

Larissa Kelly, the first female contestant to win more than 5 games is so cute she shits kittens. She also won a boatload of money during her recent Jeopardy! run. We’re sure to see her again during the Tournament of Champions.

After watching her in action I knew that many nerds, semi-nerds, quasi-nerds and lovelorn sci-fi appreciators would soon have an enormous crush on her. Though modestly displayed, lovely Larissa “had a body on her” and that infintely cute face concealed a lethal mind for trivia.

Cuter than a Care Bear at birth.

UPDATE! Larissa’s sister Arianna played on 08 JUL 08. She’d been on the show before back in January; was invited back due to some “contentious judgments.” I say it’s because of that awesome rack. More cold showers for Trebek.

However, the title HOTTEST JEOPARDY! WOMAN (So Far) STILL goes to:

Now obviously this is a matter of opinion, but as mine is law around here I declare Mrs. (sigh) Farrell the sexiest Jeoputante yet.

Hair, glasses, cheekbones, face, figure: everything about Dorothy was/is a delight. She lasted 3 days and played well. All that sexy synergy and her fool husband (<–yes, jealous of) waited 4 years to tie the knot? Must be quite the nerd in his own right.

Some kind soul uploaded her Jeopardy! intros…you don’t get to hear her sexy Brooklyn accent so the red dress will have to do…

(Be patient, the Champ is introduced last…)

VIDEO GONE FROM YOUTUBE, UPDATE BELOW

I’m not obsessed or anything. Sexy-as-hell women with high levels of smartosity like Larissa and Dorothy offer rays of big-breasted hope to cellar dwellers and misfits alike.

I am both, minus the cellar.

ADDENDUM: I’d take Dorothy over an encounter with the “Kelly Twins”. I hope to hell all three of them never find this post but on intarnets, if they can they will. Ha ha haaa!

2017 UPDATE 2017 UPDATE  2017 UPDATE  2017 UPDATE 2017 UPDATE

Well it’s been 9 years or so since I made this post.  It’s my 3rd-most popular, about 380 hits.

The original Dorothy Farrell vid is long gone but here’s her stats from the show.

And an unrelated video from 2016 about nanotechnology:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1uWp460Dqg

With that out of the way, I’d like to add a warning I wish I could’ve given to my younger self:  while it’s good to be inspired by feminine beauty, forget smart women as a solution to anything.  

A woman’s IQ could be 190 and it wouldn’t matter.  You’re not going to “reason” your way into her heart or anything else, and a woman’s shit-test to prove your worthiness is a shit-test whether created by MENSA or not.  You’re still going to need all of the toys and other social markers of success to get anywhere.

I stopped watching Jeopardy! long ago.  Ken Jennings thought he was hot shit till the AI Watson handed him and that other guy their carbon-based asses on a silicon platter.  The Machines are taking over.  Good.

Western Civilization is on the way out.  It’s a shame because primarily White people–White Men–are responsible for the bottomless list of scientific achievements which have advanced society to comfort levels never thought possible. By handing it all over without a fight to women and SJW retards, the West has devolved into feminine foolishness:  it won’t be much longer—historically speaking—before the entire world is either run by muslims, the red chinese, The Machines or a hybrid of all three.

I’m embarrassed about the ridiculous worship found in this post but I’m grateful to look back, admire its foolishness and move on.  Smart women are not a solution for anything.  You have been warned.  -M39, May 2017