Posts Tagged ‘assault of life’

In hacker-speak: My shit is Fail

Tuesday, 5 February 2008

I see a shrink at the VA, an Indian woman in her 50s, every 4 months. Except for prescribing anti-depressants she is useless.

Mental health is not like diabetes and insulin. Compared to the advances of other realms of medical knowledge, sciences of the brain and neurochemistry remain primitive, like cavemen waiting for a lightning strike in order to have fire. The act of seeing a shrink is one more metric* of a society relentless in its value judgments, another form of Fail.

Today Doc and I “argued” about the meds I’m on. The dosage I’m at now makes me what I am, a functional person who refuses to cope and cooperate and is thus made miserable by the endless negative assault of life. (Without meds I’d be a non-functional person via insanity or death: everything’s a trade-off).

Doc India warned that an increase in the dosage might cause seizures. Oddly, when I seemed to press for the higher dosage she turned reluctant, but when I told her I didn’t care either way she moved to increase the scrip. Just like a woman: you have to stand right in front of her and demonstrate how you don’t give a damn in order for her to be interested.

When Dr. India suggested another shrink (“A female” she said wilily) all I thought was if this other Doc isn’t going to suck my cock or otherwise make me feel better, she’s of no use to me either.

I didn’t say that tho. I ain’t crazy.

* a measurement of a characteristic compared to an agreed-upon standard of what is normal