Posts Tagged ‘awesome’

How I picture government (which still sux)

Monday, 11 February 2008

Second-longest answer: a bicycle with octagonal tires and no pedals, pushed by Black midgets out of breath from singing praises to a fat-assed, self-important rider facing backwards, violently overreacting to obstacles long since passed while throwing handfuls of taxpayer money into the air like confetti.

Longest Answer:

There’s a scene in American Ninja where “Joe” (Michael Dudikoff) is slinking around a warehouse with a sword taken from some lesser-skilled unfortunate. He rounds a corner into an open space…

Four ninja leap down, each holding a corner of a net. As the net drops, Joe simply raises his sword and slices through it, then proceeds to dispatch the idiots.

TO WITNESS THIS BRILLIANCE FOR YOURSELF JUST CLICK THESE WORDS AND FORWARD TO THE 9:00 MARK.

Those four ninja are what government is to me: bumbling, incompetent, arrogant, needlessly complicating things and addicted to unnecessary force. No one on the Net Trap Committee said, “Hey, this is 1985, why don’t we all carry machine guns instead of archaic weapons and when Joe is trapped, we kill the lights and use night vision goggles!”

Government efficiency. Ha ha ha.

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