Posts Tagged ‘bionic woman’

“Motivational” Posters

Friday, 25 January 2008

Make your very own here.

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TV Redux

Monday, 19 November 2007

The lazy-assed writers of Smallville are counting on fans’ loyalty to the Superman mythos. 

That’s why most weeks they churn out crap.

Supposedly this is the last season, and so the long-suffering will endure.

During last week’s show, Chloe (the only hot chick) says to Clark, “My (insert automobile’s name here) gets great gas mileage but blahblahblah.”

I stopped the Tivo, froze the expression on my face and walked into the bathroom to see what a fucking idiot looks like (the show’s producers must think I am to pull that kind of stunt).

I wouldn’t mind such blatant ad-placement if there were NO commercials at all, but that’s not the case.

There were even more shameful episodes the last two seasons where ad-placed cars should’ve gotten acting credits.

Of course, the final crime comitted against Smallville fans never seeing Tom Welling’s Clark Kent as Superman.  The excuse, aside from all the lawyering problems, will be the producers of both the next Supes movie and the TV show don’t want to “confuse” audiences with two Supermen (never mind the long list of pre-Reeve actors who’ve played the Big S).  If Superman Returns wasn’t such an unwatchable turd I might agree with the producers’ “logic”.

I don’t feel like writing an essay about “What Superman Means to Me” right now.  Maybe later.

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Bionic Woman is officially a cyberturd.  NBC tried, and failed.  Whatever its problems I don’t care anymore, it’s unwatchable.  Michelle Ryan is not as hot as I once thought she was, and after Smallville being on the air for almost a decade, why would anyone care about the (weak) powers of someone with only 3 rechargeable limbs?  The younger sister is a real asshole too, I would pray for a sniper cannon to take her out.  If I cared.

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Cavemen isn’t a total flop, more like a hairier My Name is Earl with no chemistry between actors and 1/4th the laffs.

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I’m a big fan of Satan but haven’t seen Reaper, primarily because a fat fuck with a faux-hawk is the lead, secondarily because the Devil looks like a fake-tanned used car salesman.  Fat Fuck with a Faux-hawk is a much better kickass show name.

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As with “norpography” I’m mostly over TV.  There’s just nothing out there to hold my interest, it’s all geared to ADD youngsters Ages 4-34.

Fuck ’em. I’ll dream my own dreams.

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