Posts Tagged ‘chopsticks’

Whatever happened to that girl?

Wednesday, 17 October 2012

I should probably say a few words about this post.

No, I didn’t eat her pussy, because I never met up with her, as predicted.

On the appointed day I texted her the website of the sushi/buffet along with a time to meet. I have a pay-as-you-go cell so it took forever.

Her response was: “Huh?”

So I canceled.

Hours later she texted, inviting me to go for a walk on the beach. Usually with the ladies that’s a good thing, but she wanted to go around 5 pm; she’d already told me, “If I really liked you (romantically) I would be so shy I wouldn’t be able to talk to you.”

I didn’t answer her invite. I wouldn’t put up with this shit from friends therefore I couldn’t put up with it from her.

Besides, after her reject I got stoned.  Being stoned, I wasn’t about to go to the buffet alone.

I’ve seen her since. She’s mad at me, of course. A Japanese-Irish girl.

Imagine how bad it would be if I cared.

Advertisements

I’m 40, she’s 20

Saturday, 29 September 2012

Don’t know how I did it but I got the cute Japanese girl with big tits from this post to go to lunch with me this Monday.

“Platonically!” she all but yelled.

Oh, that’s how.

It’s an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet with a huge sushi zone, not that I’m being racist. No, really!—she doesn’t like pizza or wings.

I’ve been trying to lose the same 10 pounds so I’ll eat light all weekend and make my “cheat day” the day of buffet. I also plan on being slightly stoned. I expect her to be fully horrified by how much I put away. I don’t care.

Not caring is how I got her to agree to lunch. And I’m not caring in the best way: I truly don’t care. I told her three times before I got her number that it’s OK to cancel if something comes up.

“Like what would come up?”

“I don’t know, you win the lottery or something.”

She claims she is shy, and the only reason she’s able to talk to me is because she’s not interested in me ‘that way’.

“If anyone falls in love,” I warned, “it will be you with me.”

I’m using this non-date as a test, to see if I remember anything about table manners and listening skills.  

The girl is beautiful with perfect teeth, and such fierce, callow energy you have to witness to believe.

I would love to fuck her with ultimate tenderness or even just eat her pussy for an hour, but the price would be terribly high.

Whether she chickens (or sushis) out or not, I’m going to that motherfucking buffet and eating till the manager says, “YOU GO ‘WAY, WE CLOSED, ALL FOOD GONE, WE LAUNDRY NOW!”

Where your sorry ass been at?

Thursday, 15 January 2009

The first meatlights post of 2009 and Jan is already half-over, a case of so much happening that nothing has happened.

Things are in motion and this time I’m going with them.

Even without writing for almost a month, meat-hits remain constant because of posts referring to ‘norpography’. I should send Marc Wallace an e-card.

We’re less than a week away from the Obamessiah taking the reigns. I’m betting it will take less than 4 years for the peeps who voted for him to understand why the other half of the country voted against him.

I see no reason to give His Highness “a chance”. If someone stated his intention to jump off a cliff and meant it, I wouldn’t need to see him do it to believe he was nuts. Obama’s laid out his socialist “plan” and it’s an ‘end justifies the means’ thing. You’ll see. Buy a gun if you haven’t already.

As for the other side, I deem the Bush presidency overall to be a failure (this from someone who supports the Iraq War) because of the bailouts, which are inexcusable; it would’ve been better to let the whole fucking thing collapse. Instead of “saving the free market” Bush cut the ribbon on the road leading to tyranny, and now Obama as Grand Marshal begins the march.

My friends, my friends, let me remind you that it wasn’t deregulation, free markets or freedom that caused this mess, it was government, which treats its citizens’ rights and money like a subcompact rental car.

Enough about pollytix.

Hope you’re enjoying the new year. It’s ridiculous that a man-made invention like calendar time has the power to transform people (more like resetting a computer with a virus) but it seems to help, a little.  New Year’s Day is a symbolic bullet in the head of the corpse of Xmas to assure it’s dead.

Blessings to my 3 readers of the non-sex posts and to the tens of people who read the dirty stuff. Here’s to more sex and filth in oh-nine.

Advertisements