Fuck The Simpsons, right in the neck

“I’m old enough to remember when The Simpsons was funny!” I whinged, shaking my cane at the sky as my long white beard billowed in the breeze.

To answer your first question, I “tape” the show and half-watch it during dinner. Force of
habit after 2.5 decades. I do not expect to laugh and am never disappointed. The most I get
out of an entire episode is a slight chuckle.

TWELVE screenwriters worked on The Simpsons Movie, including Matthew Groaning, esteemed creator. The result was mediocre at best. I barely laughed in the theater and have never watched it again. Marge said, “Somebody throw the God-damned bomb!” which is something Marge would NEVER say.

What prompted me to write about The Simpsons now after a decade(s) of unfunny shows? I was horrified by the episode “Puffless.” For some reason, the “comedy” writers went on a tangent where Maggie communicates wth woodland creatures, which is straight-up Merrie Melodies nonsense. The Simpsons is supposed to be an ‘adult’ show so I wondered who the hell the “writers” were targeting with this cutesy unfunny story arc (the main story of Patty and Selma quitting smoking was absolute shite as well).

I cringed throughout the entire battle where Cletus’s poor hound dog is tortured—FUCKING TORTURED—by Maggie and a gang of animals in order to free a possum. It must be “funny”
because other animals are hurting the dog and not a human.

Simpsons shite is so out of hand there are critics analyizing every episode like it’s Masterpiece Theatre. Once upon a time the sight gags were funny, now rubes are expected to DVR-freeze every other frame looking for inside-jokes-within-inside-jokes, not just Bart’s writing on the chalkboard.

The show continues because somehow it’s still making money, but for most fans it’s now a matter of morbid curiosity, how much longer can they milk this shit-show before cancellation?

Since obozo was elected twice by grubers, it’s going to be awhile.

Poem written in ’07, just as true today

The heart is a retard
on the short bus
with no helmet or pads,
whacking its skull on the glass
for sheer joy.

The heart is a retard
a pin cushion for bent arrows
halos of barbed wire
hair of flames
and blood-dipped cursive names.

The heart is a retard
now and forever
eating sunbeams and shitting rainbows
shedding glitter dandruff
off construction paper
monstrosities
taped to the fridge.

The heart is a retard
and there’s no special class or program to help,
there is nothing to do.
It’s simple like sand
that cuts like glass.

The heart is a retard and
this poem is drool
from its mouth,
grinning like fishhooks,
staring at butterflies with
diamonds for wings

retarded.

The War Game

It was barely a blip in the news.  The red chinese have revealed their new attack helicopter which looks a hell of a lot like the American AH-64 Apache.

It must be a coincidence.

Skip the specs and go right to this:  

US legal action regarding alleged engine software transfer

In June 2012, United States charged United Technologies and two of its subsidiaries, Pratt & Whitney Canada and Hamilton Sundstrand, of selling China software that provides the necessary engine codes to operate the CAIC WZ-10.^[8] While the Chinese defence ministry denied that China bought or used the software, Pratt & Whitney Canada and Hamilton Sundstrand agreed to pay more than $75 million to the U.S. government to settle the charges.^[9]

 

War is all a grand illusion, isn’t it?  When American troops are eventually killed by these Chinese turdcopters with stolen US technology, 75 million dollars might start to seem a lot more precious.

Or not.

The Apache’s wiki doesn’t offer much hope either; versions of the ship have been sold to many countries I would not consider allies, including Taiwan (aka China).

The word for the day is UNWORTHY.

We already have a welfare-selling president whose performance made him UNWORTHY of a second (or first) term.  A tax cheat UNWORTHY of any office runs the Treasury.  

This bloated, bullying government is UNWORTHY of preservation, and reflects too accurately the crumbling union UNWORTHY of American principles ignored or forgotten.

The criminals believe there’s always room for more corruption. 

It won’t be much longer…

Fuckfield #9

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