Kylo Ren, don’t make me feel gay

 

I don’t like feeling gay.

Gay in this sense has nothing to do with homosexuality, it’s a kind of shame or embarrassment by association with an object or idea ruined by obviousness, obnoxiousness or nescience.

The word “ghey” has been offered as a way to describe this feeling but it’s bullshit for two reasons:

1) ‘Gay’ had several other meanings before homosexual, and gays from that time forward didn’t offer an alternate spelling to separate themselves from the original meaning.

2) The well-intentioned but foolish adopter of “ghey” is left having to spell G-H-E-Y after saying, “gay” so as not to offend nearby gays. Who needs extra work?

Saw this today at the supermarket and yes, it made me feel gay:

I understand putting other SW characters on the boxes, including the fucking soccer ball that doesn’t need to eat. But how can Kylo Ren, wimpy-named villain and Vader groupie give a fuck about nutrition or pleasing kids, especially with a product name as GAY as GO-GURT?

More laughable is the new SW movie is rated PG-13, which means there’s a possibility of KR decapitating some poor fool with a lightsaber. This could be the Madonna/Pepsi controversy of this decade, especially since the new lightsaber looks like a burning cross.

 

 

 

 

And then there’s this:  

 

SLURP SABER.  

Slurp Saber…is funny.  

 

VITAL UPDATE:  The Force Awakens has been out for a few weeks.  By featuring Kylo Ren, Go-Gurt is advocating patricide.  Seems about right. 

 

US Military Social Engineering Experiment Part Deux: Gay Lamb Cannons are here!–UPDATED 21 FEB 18

So now The Kenyan has finally got around to signing a law repealing ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’, which had barred gays from serving openly in the military.  At least it was done sans the activist asshole judge.

I opposed the repeal of the ban based on what I think is a semi-original idea.  I had some trouble explaining it in person, but here goes again.

Forget for a moment that we’re talking about gays in the military.  Instead, let’s say the military wanted a new type of rifle.  With barely any testing of this new rifle’s performance, it is immediately adopted and replaces the M-16.  That alone is madness; in order to placate those opposed to the new barely-tested rifle design, the military leaders promise if the new rifle fails in the field, it will be replaced with the M-16 again.

Well, my fellow Americans, we’re not even promised that much.  What we’ve been told is the new rifle is going to replace the M-16 whether it works or not.

I suspect The Gay will negatively affect military performance, but I have enough wisdom to know that I don’t know for certain.  What I do know is the obamateurs—the marxist radicals Slobmerica elected—who are currently responsible for keeping our Armed Forces strong, ALSO have no idea how The Gay will affect military performance, nor do they care if the results are negative.

If women in the Armed Forces is any indicator, The Gay is going to be a lot of trouble, and like all politically-correct social experiments, a lot of trouble that will be hidden from the public eye.

21 FEB 18 UPDATE 

WELL ME BOYOS, rather than start a whole new post I’m going to add this here, since it’s a variation on the original theme. 

Regarding gays serving openly in the military, my concern was increased obstacles to troop readiness in the name of social justice would get our troops killed.  Now that I think about it, while I haven’t gone looking for one, I’ve never seen a headline anywhere explaining the results of this social experiment, but I gather if it’d been a roaring success, fake news would have (for once) trumpeted an honest report on the front page.     

Sometime between 2010 and 2018, I remember the military opened up every job to women.  (To me the craziest wasn’t allowing women to attempt joining the SEALS, it was women being allowed to serve on submarines.  What a great deal even for plain janes!—who could charge $500-an-hour to screw.)

So the latest affront to common sense is what every soldier and sailor knew would happen:  the presence of women lowered standards.   

Marine Corps Quietly Drops Major Obstacle to Female Infantry Officers

Read the comments section:  I don’t need to add my voice to the chorus of Marines saying BAD IDEA.

But that’s the Age of Insanity we live in.  We just try everything because we can, no matter how retarded, never caring about real-world results except to hide failure. 

Terminator Salvation and Transformers 2

Both Terminator: Salvation and Transformers 2 are frozen shit Popsicles. If I had to watch one of them again I’d choke down Terminator only because it’s shorter. If I had to choose between watching either movie again or suicide this would be my last post.

T:S was rife with clichés, unexciting action and zero-dimensional characters no one can possibly give a shit about, with the exception of the guy who played Kyle Reese (and Chekhov in the new Star Trek).

A post-apocalyptic Terminator film would be a challenge to make by the best filmers, because as the story begins, humanity has lost, rendering the better “prequels” irrelevant (even T3–which really isn’t so bad–is a masterpiece compared to this travesty).

There’s no getting around the fact that Christian Bale is a spoiled ass. I have no numbers to back it up but it’s my opinion the yelling-at-some-lackey-on-set (turned into a brilliant techno song) struck a blow against the buzz. His portrayal of John Connor had me rooting for the machines.

Salvation’s plot isn’t worth regurgitating. The movie is a total loss, but what kills it above all else is the way Skynet is depicted. For a murderous artificial intelligence it’s way too sane and collected, to the point I was wondering why it ever viewed humans as a threat.

Given the “rules” of the post-nuke Terminator universe it would be easy as hell to win a war against humans, simply by waiting them out. For human numbers to grow they need food, water, infrastructure. What’s time to a machine? Why don’t the ‘robits’ simply do nothing for 50 years, let the humans grow soft, while the machines gather or build neutron bombs for radiation attacks? Burn all the forests and arable land, kill everything green. So much possibility, all unexplored.

T3 and Salvation are dumb movies, which is fine, except they’re not fun. Movie audiences know too much so it’s time to put the T-franchise to sleep for awhile.

Transformers 2 is a rainbow-colored turd. Everything bad you’ve heard about it is true. The effects are seamless, yet it’s vulgar, cheap, bombastic, aimed to evoke mass guffaws from the lowest common denominator of society.  Pro-tip:  just because the target market is 8-year-olds doesn’t mean the movie has to be shit.

At 2 hours, 30 minutes Tran 2 is impossibly long; longer still if you can’t stand Megan “Fred Flintstone Thumbs” Fox, a spoiled ass in her own right. Yeah, she’s “pretty”, so what?– a lot of porn whores are as hot or hotter. Had Fox not gotten her break, she could easily be choking on Sean Michael’s blacksnake like Avy Scott or any number of strumpets.

By now you’ve probably seen both of these cineturds. Like circumcision, they only have to be endured once and you’re done for life.

The best damned review of the new Star Trek movie you’ll ever read

The new Star Trek is a good–not great–science fiction romp that could have just as easily been made without the Star Trek brand.

The only notable standout was Mr. Spock, and either because I’m insane or just love him, I was weeping in the theater (Spock has a rough time of it.)

I will probably buy the DVD, but not watch it over and over.

That’s it!

You’re now done reading the best damned review of the new Star Trek movie you’ve ever read.