Posts Tagged ‘hoax’

Holiday Horrors

Wednesday, 19 December 2018

DID YOU KNOW? “In 2013, a Black person was six times more likely than a non­-Black to commit murder, and 12 times more likely to murder someone of another race than to be murdered by someone of another race.

In 2013, of the approximately 660,000 crimes of interracial violence that involved Blacks and Whites, Blacks were the perpetrators 85 percent of the time. This meant a Black person was 27 times more likely to attack a White person than vice versa.”

Now that you have been made more aware of racial reality, we can focus on a crime which has attracted NATIONAL ATTENTION: the vandalizing of an inflatable Black Santa Claus!

Based on what we know of the history of balloon assassins, some liked to “leave a message” with a dramatic display of death while others, knowing all it takes is a single leak, used stealth. I’m no coroner, but I do watch many forensic TV shows, and it looks to me like Black Santa–a product no doubt made as cheaply as possible in China–ripped along one of its seams under the armpit.

murdered black santa closeup

 

The traumatized owner of Killed Kringle has another theory: TRUMP is behind it!

Murdered Black santa

Police, however, aren’t so sure.

“Washington County Sheriff’s deputies confirm they’re investigating the incident as vandalism, but are having trouble searching for suspects because of a lack of surveillance cameras.

They’re going to have a lot of trouble with suspects, first because most hate crimes are hoaxes, hoaxes which waste valuable police resources concluding with the non-White (or non-male) hoaxer rarely being charged. 

Attention Washington Detectives:  if no one found a sharpened carrot, it wasn’t Frosty the Snowman. Jack Frost’s MO doesn’t fit either, Black Santa’s wound is too ragged to be from one of Frost’s razor-sharp icicles. (Also, there’s no snow anywhere.)

While the murder of inflatable Black Santa made global headlines on Drudge Report (or at least reached The Sacbee all the way from Oregon) you have likely never heard of Amber Clark, a North Californian librarian murdered by a homeless Black man she’d asked to leave the library two months earlier for causing a disturbance.

Murdered Shay

Imagine the nerve of this HUWHITE woman, bursting with PRIVILEGE, asking a former slave to leave the warmth of the library where he was quietly studying quantum mechanics! She deserved to die. Even though she never said the n-word she most likely thought it. Unfortunately, our RAYSISS “justice” system–the same one which turned a blind eye to a slain inflatable Black Santa, is charging the alleged assailant with first degree murder.

We as Americans must get our priorities straight.  I don’t want to live in a country where TRUMP can order drone strikes on inflatable Black Santas–and Black slaves are barred from reading! 

BIGFOOT, please

Saturday, 16 August 2008

oh, the voice of reason is trying his best to ruin my dream of being alive when they discover that bigfoot is real. bastard. Dirty Howie

.

Got this email from Howington after I pointed out the suit in the freezer recently found was probably a hoax to sell some new movie (or as it turns out, $500 “Bigfoot” tours from the hoax-holes who “found” the creature).

If you think about it, why do they have to test the DNA of this thing? You could just cut off an arm and skin it…no special effects people on earth could fake all the necessary bones, blood vessels, muscles, tendons, etc., as well as DNA.

Anyway, of all the legends and unsolved mysteries, BIGFOOT is the most worthless.

Does BIGFOOT have a spaceship and alien technology that could solve the energy crisis?

Does BIGFOOT have a time machine or live underwater in a cool place like Atlantis?

Does BIGFOOT have the secrets of quantum physics or keys to unlock hidden worlds and dimensions?

NO.

Know what BIGFOOT has? BIG FUCKING FEET. Oh, and he’s COVERED in HAIR at a time every queery-bare-chested, pretty-boy dickweed in media has NO body hair (update Dec 2008: add Obama to the list of dauphines).

BIGFOOT is a REAL man’s legend lost in the 70’s with Burt Reynolds while the mascot for the 21st century is a giant, gay, vegan, non-smoking pink dolphin.

What if we did catch a live BIGFOOT? He can’t speak, draw, write or play basketball. He probably can’t even wipe his ass…the government will just put him on the Endangered Feces list and lo, another USELESS WELFARE ANIMAL Joe Sixpack has to pay for.

BIGFOOT should stay gone unless he’s got a working fusion reactor in his cave.