Posts Tagged ‘holograms’

Almost Human—the cloning one

Monday, 16 December 2013

The challenge of making a good sci-fi show is taking thoughtful risks. That doesn’t mean the story has to be so complicated it leaves the dumb masses behind, but without a future where technology has changed morality, you’ve got another generic cop show with electric cars and quieter guns.

The drugs-are-bad episode, terrorism episode, heist episode and fuckbots episode were decent but not nearly as interesting as they could’ve been.

And now the cloning episode.

The plot we got was a literal genius who was faking being good in the eyes of the world but was really a villain, because he killed the doctor who helped clone him a few times. The story involves him and his clone family trying to kill a witness to the crime, a ditzy broad who looks like a 1980s Madonna and who is psychic from a brain-boosting process (a story in itself). The tight-(hair)-bunned cop-boss character is explored a little more but that’s really the only thing new.

A better plot would have had the good guy be likable while an unseen killer picked off the clones, causing the good guy to expose him-selves to the cops. Why was cloning conveniently made illegal 20 years earlier? Why did this guy clone himself, was it to beat an incurable disease? Do clones have legal rights? Is killing a clone considered murder?

This is the first episode where we really see Dorian’s awesome robopower as he catches up to a speeding electro-van and flips it like a cheese omelette (causing it to explode, even though it has no gas engine).

We the audience were kind-of prepped for this when earlier an MX-43 bragged about being able to lift a metric ton. I didn’t like this new information because it made Kennex look ignorant. If you didn’t know your robot buddy could lift a car, you might call in human first responders, needlessly putting them in the line of fire.

The MXs are as useless as stormtroopers. They’re supposed to provide a cold, glaring contrast to “crazy” warm Dorian, but their design is not well thought-out.

If an MX-43 can effortlessly carry a metric ton, they should all be walking around with 200 extra pounds of body armor, especially since every episode the bad guys get the jump on them. MX headwear is clearly not bulletproof, as their heads always get blown apart like rock candy.

It’s not necessary to build humanoid robots so that their recording devices are fragile chips of glass in their rock candy skulls…the head should have sensors-only while recording modules used as evidence should be heavily shielded in the robots’ torsos.  Sorry for the nerd shit, but it has to be said.

I don’t care about the hot girl cop, do you? We’ve seen McCoy break into a cold sweat in a showroom of fuckbots, why would he care about a human woman? (Prediction:  later in the season, when he’s ready to close the deal, the evil Insyndicate girlfriend will come along to ruin everything).

We also learned this week that Dorian has a giant robocock. The patrol car cop-buddy banter gets amusingly gayer every week.

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I La-La-La-La-Love Gnesa

Sunday, 28 October 2012

Yes, this Gnesa. Is there any other?

Bad singers who become famous are nothing new.

“Wilder’s” only weakness is its strength, I can’t just listen, I MUST stop everything else to watch her sexy (but modest) dance moves.

Right now little is known about Gnesa and I’m too lazy to go looking. I like to imagine her father—an even-keeled wealthy orthodontist–paid for the whole thing is support of his daughter’s dream (and the song came stock with the karaoke machine).

Why can’t I stop watching? Well, the obvious part is obvious, Gnesa is an authentic beauty; she doesn’t give a damn about being perfect. The first shots of the video are closeups and she’s got blemishes on her face, like real women do, no Jessica Simpson Photo-Perfection Program here.  Her breasts are not augmented and her sexy, silky dance moves are so slight an 80-year-old could do them without getting winded.

Another thing that would make the directors of “real” videos shit their puffy director pants is that Gnesa is not thin, and sure as hell not camera-thin by Entertainment Standards, meaning she’s fat.  To them.  I couldn’t care less about what the image overlords think, my favorite part of the vid is when she wags her finger at 2:44 and her big, tanned healthy thighs quiver, making my prick ping like a sonar.  

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It’s better than p0rn, because it’s real. I would’ve killed to have a girlfriend like her in high school. Or tomorrow.

The song is, well, the song. It’s easy to sing and follow along (though I do neither). It’s a nice break from all the self-serving idiots demanding everything be taken seriously, including love songs.

With the deck stacked against her, Gnesa continues to gain momentum. This past weekend the meter jumped from 1.5 million to two million youtube hits.

I’m happy she exists in a world where I’m unhappy to exist.  

 

 

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