Posts Tagged ‘insomnia’

It’s Too Late

Tuesday, 21 August 2012

I have no fans, and that’s fine with me. Much has happened since I last picked up the keyboard for more regularly blogged bullshit. As filmed, the story would be minor happy events in an overall tragedy as opposed to some bloodless low points in a comedy. Sounds about right for almost everyone.

I’m slowly dying of some rare blood disease that damages only the kidneys. Really, I wish my kidneys would fail already. I would quietly collect SSD and get dialysis 3 times a week if it meant not having to ever work again, facing the ugliness of the human race every fucking day.

There are still a few good things left in life:  Oreos, cannabis, taking a shit, internets, reading history, jacking off. There are even hookers that will come to your door!

Contrary to what salesfolk are forever claiming, there is a time when nothing you do or try or buy will save your sorry ass. That time is called “It’s Too Late” and for me, it’s already here. I never try to tally up the reasons I have to live another day, there really aren’t any. I’ve abandoned this life…the mp3 player is still counting the song from both ends but the music stopped long ago.

I told the Guru I HATE God, but I told him in an email.  No response.  That was years ago.  When he does answer it’s usually with, “Have you tried meditating?”  He’s not being a smartass.  God is.

Sadly, there is no Satan to worship. Don’t matter who you cry out to; no god—good or evil—returns messages.

I want to get black t-shirts made with IT’S TOO LATE right across the chest in bright yellow. More than any demon, those words frighten people, with truth.

Beat like a clod of mud at the track

Wednesday, 17 December 2008

I got so excited about having the next 9 days off in a row starting tomorrow and ending with Xmas Day, I slept only 3 hours last night. The night before that I dreamed I was killing terrorists, stabbing them and biting their ears off.

Right now it’s nearly midnight and I’m exhausted, but being web-addicted, still wanted to poke around.

Earlier this eve I went to Worst Buy, the electronics superstore that smells like burning TVs. The selection of software was disappointing and the cameras were still priced too high.

There were some weirdos in there, real mutants, but so few I just felt bad there wsn’t more of a shopping crowd.

Our asshole government has people scared shitless. As long as they show a willingness to violently tamper with the economy, people won’t trust it, or them, or spend money freely. Nor should they.

I was tired enough during the day that I was already seeing things jump at the corners of my vision. I looked up from a row of uninspiring games into the wide-eyed face of a woman on the other side of the rack and nearly screamed; she would’ve scared the crap out of me if I hadn’t already dropped a horn-shaped turd an hour before.

With the last of my wakefulness I drove to Wal-Mart, which was lively while I wasn’t. They didn’t have squat and I left without buying anything. I’d been hyped to get GTA IV but the PC version sucks, requiring a monster machine to run smoothly.

I’m exhausted and am now getting out of here.