A playing card in the spokes of the wheel of joy and suffering

I’ve been away from meatlights for a day or three, there’s nothing to write about and enough crap around here–much of it pornful–to keep a rotating crowd amused.  The lesson learned is if all else fails and you’ve got nothing to say you can keep putting jelqing and Vida Guerra in the Tags. 

It’s unusual for me to be “happy” (which is sad in itself) but lately I’ve been feeling…better.  Not joyous like stardust enemas and unicorns ejaculating rainbows, more like feeling that living is equal to dying and either state is interchangeable (so close to the truth).  Events have stabilized to a small degree in part by making decisions and taking small action.  But while my own life balances however briefly, the lives of others I care for has been rough or rougher.

That’s just how it is. 

To hell with feeling.  I’ve a good haircut and am getting enough sleep.  Is there more? 

You must be jelqing!

From wikipedia, with additional editing:

Jelqing is a method to increase penile blood pressure with the goal of permanently increasing the maximum erect size of the penis. This technique, also called “milking”, involves wrapping the thumb and index finger around the penis while semi-erect and repeatedly drawing them away from one’s body to force blood into the glans, thus encouraging more vascularity in the corpus cavernosa and associated tissues. Whether jelqing actually works or not is a subject of controversy.

There is no “controversy”!  If playing with it made it longer every man would have a fire hose down there by the age of 15.

I’m now drinking large quantities of skim milk, hoping they will act as some kind of brain bleach.