Posts Tagged ‘jerking off’

“poetry forever”

Sunday, 20 September 2015

I remember the moment
I gave up
poetry forever.

Clicking through the
latest online issue
of a ‘zine,
looking for
my submission
like anyone seeks
their own face
first
in a group photo,
I stumbled across a poem
I’d written
that I didn’t remember writing.

It was clever, edgy, spritely, etc., dancing like a weapon-y
ballerina
sober on sunlight and pink socks.

I loved it
like anyone loves
their own kid
most
in a school play,
except
my poem was over there
and the one I thought I’d written was written by
someone else.

I didn’t need a DNA test to know
my words were
nothing
if some random asshole could Xerox
“my” madness
“my” fingerprints
“my” unique turds
so much
I thought they were mine.

So I walked away from
poetry forever,
it was easy,
I didn’t love anyone
and still don’t.

The gods had found a replacement
for a replacement
and now that that was settled
I could concentrate on my first love:
jerking off.

Trouble is, between poetry
and
jerking off

no one can tell the difference.

Which is fine,
there’s no money
in either.

 14 Jun 06 

 

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MORE Funny as Hell youtube comments

Thursday, 24 June 2010

Ah yes, more random funny as hell youtube comments. In Shakespeare’s day, the crowds of rabble didn’t hesitate to throw rotten tomatoes, cabbages and other things when the play sucked ass.  Our modern rabble, er, critics (barely) type instead of throw.

Youtubers are barely a level above real tubers, that is, potato heads.  I include myself in that anonymous crowd of rabble with 55-gallon drums of venom and nowhere to go but to the keyboard.

The human race is insane.  It’s why God didn’t bother to make the Bible make sense.

As usual, horrible spelling has been left intact.


 

I think we’ve all been the lord of darkness at some point in our lives, I’m about to reach that stage

This video has urged me to defecate in space.

sadly, this is not the only time dairy products have been rapped about.

I hope this guy gets paid good, cause i wouldn’t do this unless i was either drunk, or so high i losted half of my brain.

can you take of you bakini?

boomerangs are for people who don’t have friends.

i thought the story was so simple it was almost insulting to the audience. the special effects were like dangling keys in front of a dog.

Shut the fuck up you degenerate piece of shit. Your generalizations due little to compliment your intellect. I know quite a few roofers who could buy your house in full and use it as a toilet.

When I was little, I got raped by puppets too. (smile)

I would like to hire the Angel Force to clean my apartment. It looks like they do a good job.

When I was a kid I wanted a monkey and a semi-tractor.  Now as an adult I just want someone to play with my monkey as a semi passes.

They need to put warnings on the box about how good this new pizza is. I just spent 20 minutes cleaning jizz off my keyboard after I tried the new recipe!

I wish I could coment on this. but I do not want to make a mistake.

I now envy the blind and def.

he has a really nice tan. i’d wear his skin around my apartment for sure.

that almost better than tits

u sir, are and idiot.

White muggers? Is this science fiction??

AT LAST!  A MOVIE ABOUT TALKING DOGS!

I wonder if her dookey is different colorss? Hah, who am I kidding, girls don’t poop.

That poor, poor ottoman. I don’t even know gay men that do this…

i still find it hard to understand why people with an IQ of 5 manage to make millions of dollars by doing jack shit

Funny as Hell youtube comments

Wednesday, 18 November 2009

I’ve been sitting on these for some time, letting the collection grow like magical crystals made of excrement. They’re funnier without context; I’ve mostly forgotten where I found them. Horrible spelling has been left intact.

I used to steam with envy at the two doofii who created youtube and got half-a-billion each from google. Now I think they were underpaid. As this blog makes some people feel better about their own lives, so the subnormals on youtube make my day every day. We begin…


I enjoy things that are not this.

take your filty black hands off me Nigger I love that line and im black

YOU SUCK GREAT BIG GREASY DONKEY NUTS

Hey..we all need a hobby…..and mine is to come in here and drag your sorry ass throught the pig shit.

You love it, and you know it.

You suck at grammar. You suck in real life too. Also, you’re not funny.

Kids talking about bloodshed. This is twisted, but for some reason hilarious…it’s like watching a bear maul someone. It’s horrible, yet somehow hilarious.

LOL ANGRY PEOPLE AND DEAD BABIES ? Im going to jerk off now =D

for the record it would have been funny if she had been skiny, but seeing those fat cankles go up in the air was just gravy.

It’s supposed to be a dream. A really freaky dream. Like she ate a couple of sausage pizzas by herself freaky.

people like this just have mental issues. it’s not natural to broadcast inner feelings to the known world.?

You’d be hot, but your nose is like..wow
Fix that

I’m surprised you can say anything at all, considering America’s cock is in your mouth.

—-

go rape a llama and take your ego with you

shut up, youre a pussy, you hide behind the safety of the internet to insult… well guess what its fucking cowardous. So shut your little mouth, grow some balls and get rid of your fucking vagina. woman.

That’s it…just go back into your balloon fortress…

When you are truly ready to communicate with somebody on an intellectual level, give me a call. Until then, enjoy living out your grandmothers basement spankin the ham to anime.

P.S. your mother sould’ve swallowed you.

it wasen’t ment to be coherent, it was just a bunch of statement thrown into a pile of retards, fuck yous and cunts

Yes!!! Oh my god could you imagine pig hunting with this?!?!?!

i wana stick my cock in the exhaust YA DIG

I just broke my keyboard in rage


some people should not have cameras if they don’t know how to contribute anything worthwhile. This is such an example.

Don’t bother replying, the internet exists for the sole purpose of conveying what I think.

JERKING OFF IS LIKE A BREAKFAST BAR

Sunday, 5 July 2009

Dropped a small amount of shrooms–stems only–no caps. I chanted over the dried bits and pieces which look like twigs and I chanted while beginning the trip which turned out to be a dud. My pupils did not dilate, I had no hallucinations. I jerked it, then took a shower (always a brilliant idea, dropping mind-altering substances and then standing on a wet, slippery surface).

I’m sorry this post will go nowhere, but NOTHING happened except I got a small burst of energy and the title for this post: JERKING OFF IS LIKE A BREAKFAST BAR. Because it doesn’t have to be breakfast time to enjoy one. Oh no, you can jerk off evenings, Tuesdays, one minute past high noon and in the fountain at the mall, as long as you can outrace Security with your pants around your anks.

The shrooms did not enhance the onanistic experience. Perhaps my dreams will rock…

Before all of this shroom business I surfed the internet for the phrase, “Accept there is no justice”. The reason no one accepts this obvious truth is their ego is in the way. No one likes to be shat upon and revenge is very close in the hearts of humans, like a rifle hidden just inside the jamb of the front door.

Earlier today I explained to a Buddhist woman that I believe there is a God, as in an intelligent, conscious energy with thoughts of its own. She disagreed, using the sentiment that, “We are God,” not in a blasphemous way but in the sense We are the Perceivers. I have no beef with that, I was more annoyed she doesn’t smoke dope anymore. Ironically or not, historically-speaking, the best-functioning religion that’s caused the least harm appears to be Buddhism, an atheistic religion.

I didn’t mention today was the 4th of July right away because I’m not feeling it. With a respectful nod to American soldiers who gave their sanity, limbs and lives, I have no independence of my own, all my so-called personal freedom is mixed with severe punishment. After all, one is free to quit one’s hated job and starve on the street. One is free to choose drugs and then be warehoused in nigger college, aka prison. One is free to write the words “nigger college” and then have the hyenas and jackals scream for one’s politically-incorrect head. One is free to jump off a tall building, only to discover one’s freedom to fly ends as gravity begins.

I just ran to the bathroom to check my pupils. If they were ever abnormally large they’re back to normal now. It’s one hour into July 5th, everything is back to normal, we can forget freedom and sacrifice for another year.

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