Have you ever wanted to kill someone?

Some men are alive only because it is against the law to kill them. –attributed, various

Have you ever wanted to kill someone?

I came very close last Friday.

My intended target was a vile old bastard, universally despised, with an unkind word for everybody, summarized in this passage from Henry Miller’s The Air-Conditioned Nightmare: “a man, and I say it calmly and soberly, whom I could kill in cold blood.  I could shoot him down in the dark and go quietly about my business, as if I had just brushed a mosquito off my arm.”

There are no clichés or maxims that will save you in the fiery moment you decide someone must die.  I didn’t give a fuck that the bastard himself probably suffered the most from this cruel remarks (not always true; sociopaths feel nothing).  Once I decided the world would be better off without him, fantasy after fantasy about inflicting a gruesome death upon him played and replayed.

It was the hated job where this all took place (too many cameras around) and I’m wondering if on Monday there’ll be any blowback from the events Friday.  The old bastard now knows I hate him, but not how close he came to getting his head bashed in.  I swear to fucking Christ just typing this makes me ready to kill all over again.

But I’ve said too much. The prisons creak with murderers and the only difference between them and me (and you) is they acted on their impulses.

The rude elderly pissant, a coward who likely was treated cruelly by others, is not worth this many words, or any words, as there are millions like him around the globe:  horrible, failed human beings despite displays of wealth or other outward appearances.

A real human being accepts his own depths of hatred as natural and normal, the monstrous power of emotions over the feeble intellect.  Hopefully society provides enough programming that the deadliest impulses stay suppressed.  Hopefully.

If I see the old SOB again–and I’m sure I will–I can’t tell you I won’t feel this furious.  It’s natural to destroy and even more natural to destroy ugly things.  Right now my hatred remains beautiful and alive.  Something’s gotta give.

On many days I simply don’t give a shit

Been wandering the web aimlessly lately. I don’t want to get into it now except to say for every murderous muslim cocksucker there appears to be a gang of apologists and appeasers to justify–there’s no more apt word–to JUSTIFY the evil of the death-cult killers. These fools could just have easily ended up in the crosshairs as the next infidel, and yet here they are, defending the shitbirds.

You can be the most vile piece of shit and commit heinous acts, but those deemed insensitive or politically incorrect are treated even more harshly.

It’s a terrible world.

For no particular reason I watched the 12-part youtube docu about mafia killer-for-hire Richard Kuklinski, “The Iceman”, an equal-opportunity murderer. It was not uplifting. Then I watched a docu about Richard Ramirez, The “Night Stalker”, a craven piece of shit the fucking cops whisked away from mob justice. I’ve been an atheist (and now a tepid monotheist) but with these horrible serial killer bastards running around I understand why anyone would doubt the existence of any god, at least a caring one.

My own life is in the shitter. Not really, but it is. Too much shit left untied, unsaid, while other shit is done sloppily. The past weighs like an anvil on my scrotum. I just hate people and can’t seem to shake the feeling that I’m right. I can’t even get the fucking lesbian at work to come eat tacos (ha ha) with me. And no, I don’t want to fuck her, that’s why I can talk to her.

I don’t know if there is such a thing, but there appears to be a dread balance to the world. Things steadily improve but the horrors that counterweigh the good grow heavier and heavier. Smallpox is eradicated, here comes the AIDS. A dictator dies and he’s got 8 bastard sons to take his place. On the rare occasions Good triumphs it’s quickly buried and forgotten so that the next round of fools must needlessly live the same nightmares. I’m so very fucking annoyed with this planet. And there’s work tomorrow, I won’t have another day off till Monday. Work is hell, all work is, but being out of a job is worse (except for the first 20 minutes of waking up).

On many days I simply don’t give a shit. And by “days” I mean “years”.

Lovable Grandmother Not Tasered Enough

Madam, you’re a fucking liar and a scumbag. You don’t deserve a red fucking cent, and if the Texas bacon is stupid enough to offer you 40 grand for being a total asshole, they ought to charge you double that for the electricity used to put your rudeness in its place. Fuck you.

While we’re on the subject, why should I give a shit that the perp is old and/or a woman? Where’s that EQUALITY the egalitarian shit-for-brains are always whining about? DOUBLE fuck you.

“Your new God is the absence of Light”

As the world burns green they tremble at their lost money, but it’s the end of their world, not mine. I’m already inside the Singularity where nothing matters. I’ve been here for years, numb. A handful of cake or a handful of shit, it’s all the same to me. I eat both. Stealing or giving, kissing or killing.

All the same.

Nothing surprises me for long. Death is nothing, a shift in fortunes and pale energy. A body dies, the maggots win the lottery.

You are getting exactly what you deserve. Should I rise while you fall, it’s meant to be. You believed this when you were on top and I was down.

Now we are both down.

I’m getting the last laugh and I stopped laughing years ago.

Ha.

A child raped by two Kennedys

On the (Supreme Court’s) bad decision to rule out death for child rapists–

This one really troubles me because the real justice is generally accomplished by other prisoners killing or attempting to kill child molesters and rapists as they are considered the lowest form of life by the criminal fraternity. So how come the supremes don’t see this? If criminals who have the least respect for law can see the merits in killing them, how come the dudes and dudettes of supreme justice cannot see this? I do wonder…

–Internet opinion

What I wonder is why an enraged mob hasn’t yet burned the Supreme Court to the ground. These supremely arrogant jerkoffs have gotten it wrong over and over again, and this latest awful decision speaks volumes for the decline of Western Civilization.

The senile Supremes claim that “evolving standards of decency that mark the progress of a maturing society” are what prohibits the death penalty for child rapists. Bullshit. If your baby daughter was brutally raped, would you deal with her rapist less severely then if he’d murdered her?

Even if the one Kennedy said the other Kennedy’s unspeakable crime did deserve the death penalty, the convicted would still earn a gentle death compared to the harm he’s caused. Now we won’t get even that.

And so goes the tale of a child raped by two Kennedys, first Patrick the Monster, then Anthony the Arrogant, who thinks his black robe is a crown, for failing to deliver justice.

Mercy for the guilty is cruelty to the innocent.

As for convicted child rapist Patrick O. Kennedy, Louisiana should kill him anyway. Putting him in the prison yard for about 5 minutes would do it.