Posts Tagged ‘marc wallice’

Marc and Me: a love/hate rant

Sunday, 11 November 2007

Way back in the early 90s, the four major Cocks of the Compass were Peter North, Marc Wallice, Tom Byron and TT Boy. Of course even then there were many other fellows (and hundreds more now thanks to the web and Cialis) but back in my Time of Pre-jaculatory Innocence it was possible to be familiar with every major starlet’s work and know the names of all the main cocksmen without being Rain Man.

As anyone who’s seen more than one porn movie knows, only the female faces change, a fact “mostly true” even today.

Though I look and “act” nothing like him, over time I “came” to identify with Marc Wallice the most. Wallice’s sexual adventures served as surrogate for my absent, nonexistent ones. I never liked him and still don’t, but as a familiar face in an ever-changing world of cunt, Wallice became sort of a “comfort cock”, exposed to as wide a variety of vaginas as a master chef’s menu.

Chalk it up to inevitability that Wallice as well as the other three aforementioned cocksmen fucked my personal favorite porn starlet several times over the years, leaving me with a permanent welt of blasphemy and loss.

(Aside: When a girl I knew described her feelings about the dudes in porn as “watching someone’s Jewish Dad”, I knew she meant either Wallice or Randy West).

It was already the 21st century when an acquaintance I’d met mentioned he once read an interview where Wallice described being in early morning LA traffic, smirking and gleeful that all the poor slobs around him had to go to some shit job while he was going to get laid and paid.

Whether or not that anecdote is true, I was the last to know that six years earlier, karma visited Wallice with extreme prejudice: he was discovered to be HIV+ and suspected of taking 6 or 7 pornettes down with him, making him a permanent porn pariah (though as late as 2003, it’s rumored he’s been directing/editing with his name off the credits).

My favorite line of the Wallice bio:

Sexually, Wallice cast himself out, and spent much of his time masturbating to magazines and past porn dalliances.

To this day I cannot say, “Past porn dalliances” without blasting the room with hard laughter. (Googling the above emboldened quote you can access Wallice’s personal story on Google Groups).

Over the years my pathetic life has been witness to Wallice’s many conquests, sadly lived vicariously through him; that the pornettes eternally spread their legs only for money is irrelevant. I was amazed and saddened to learn of the end of Wallice’s active career…without him I am alone, adrift on the treacherous sickening seas of present porn without his (Peter?) North Star to sail by.

I was also, of course, filled with only the finest schadenfreude that Wallice, lanky, hook-nosed, pony-tailed bi-sexual fuck machine was cast out of the pornosphere at last, as if now I somehow have a chance of catching up to the 1000s of vaginas and rectums his hooked horn has dipped inside.

What a truly pathetic and non-gay love/hate letter to a man I’ll never meet or want to meet.

Mia Amore

Sunday, 14 October 2007

There’s a scene in an early-90s “art film” called Juicy Lucy that I’ve always found scorching.

It’s two couples in the same room; Sabrina Dawn (“best legs in porn”) on a squeaky bed with Tom Byron, who reminds me of Beaky Buzzard, the borderline retarded vulture in the old Warner Bros. cartoons.

Those two are negligible.  The other coupling, between Mia Powers and Marc “Hooknose” Wallice, holds the real heat.

The first time I ever saw Mia she was kneeling at the base of the bed where Byron slogged away.  Most guys would probably find her looks unimpressive, even now.

Not me.

Mia Powers was tall and skinny with a thick mane of black hair, B-cups and a fair ass.  Her front teeth were slightly crooked, making her even hotter.

Wallice, playing the in-depth character of “Buck the Janitor” enters the sorority bedroom wearing tank top and sweatpants.

Buzzard Byron says, “Hey Buck” and goes back to work.  Buck says nothing.

Wordlessly Mia raises up on her knees and with slow, infernal, drowsy motions, tugs Wallice’s waistband to the floor.  No-underwear Wallice hangs limp as she gets in position, eyes half-lidded, expertly using her mouth while he caresses her back.

Mia sucks with skilled drowsy prowess while “Buck” removes his shirt.  If there’s horny sedatives on the set these two have taken the same ones.

Languorous doesn’t begin to describe the slow burn of Miss Powers’ fellatio.  Wallice, in a signature move, interrupts his own BJ (what a gentleman) to tongue-kiss her.  This make-out’s even hotter than the fellatio, as she holds her hands over his thrusting custodial manshaft.

When the make-out is through the bitch attacks his cock like its on fire and only she can suck it out.  Wallice almost loses it, or does a great imitation of a hook-nosed pony-tailed janitor about to lose it.

The scene cuts away to the Buzzard and Legs, and soon Mia is angled awkwardly below another bed and then things seem to flow normally, the heat dissipating, you can even catch Mia opening one half-lidded eye toward the camera.  But that cocksucking was otherworldly.

I went on to ravage Mia’s short catalog of work in the ensuing years…nowhere again does she perform with the same drugged dreaminess of that scene, nor in her brief career did she ever work with Wallice again (certainly not now that Wallice is an HIV+ pariah, going on 10 years).

Hate to use a cliché but in this case it’s accurate:  Mia Powers, Virgo, former Alabama-stripper-cum-art-film-actress–seems to have dropped off the face of the earth, around 1991.  Even the mighty all-seeing eye of Google can’t find scraps of anything.

And so these hot moments embedded in an average early-90s-era art film assume a heated, crystalline dreamlike quality, never to be repeated, while I sing Somewhere Out There to Mia Powers, directing the tempo with my right hand.  I hope she never got her teeth fixed.