Semi-humble take on VP debate

Watched the VP debate because I’d already jacked off earlier.  

Biden clownish but somewhat effective.  Ryan not as polished as expected; should’ve punched harder, especially when you only get one shot.

The Kenyan attended the wedding of the moderator 20 years ago.  Maybe it means nothing, but you can bet your ass the lamestream-media jerkoffs would be crying foul if it was Romney who knew the mod in the same scenario.

Why was it a big deal that Ryan didn’t have “budget details” when His Majesty has never passed a budget his entire time in office?

Biden looked foolish, trying to justify his faith as a “pro-choice Catholic”.  Why stop there?  Be an anti-cannabis stoner and multi-racial klansman.

Conservatives look like idiots when they claim to desire smaller government yet push the abortion issue.

Liberals look like idiots when they claim a woman has a right to control her own body and that the relationship between a woman and her doctor is “sacred”.  Do any of you ladies believe that they believe you have a right to control your own bodies?  If so, try lighting up a joint or selling your pussy.

Abortion is a moot campaign issue anyway, meaning no President could overturn Roe v. Wade if s/he tried.  The “supreme” court is shit now anyway; enemies of the people.

Biden kept saying RESPONSIBILITY over and over, but only when referring to the Afghans taking over “defense” of their terrible country.  Ryan didn’t say it either, but it was extremely odd to hear a taxocrat saying it.  Since when does the Party of Victimhood endorse RESPONSIBILITY for anyone?

Neither side won any converts.  

Revolution is still imminent, ten years or less.

Guess which one they crucify?

America is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced. –Frank Zappa

A mentally-unstable breeder who already had 6 kids (damn near in a row) now has EIGHT more at once with unholy science procedures. Having already suckered the state (bankrupt Commiefornia, now there’s a surprise) for nearly 200 grand in disability and wearing her poor parents to nervous breakdown, the breeder now “shops around” for a tv show/interview that will pay….

After 30 years the FBI still can’t nail the monster who is likely the Tylenol Poisoner as well as a suspected murderer and all-around piece of shit con man…

But Michael ‘Phish’ Phelps? All but crucified for a picture of him taking a hit off a bong.

I’m no Phelps Phan but I like the guy, he’s made a lot of people happy, which is more than can be said for any 11 assholes anywhere in government.

You can be a suspected murderer or breed children into a poverty-stricken environment with no father, but take a puff of God’s smoke and they want to kill you.

Enough is enough.

Incidentally, a spokesjoint for NORML was on the local talk radio station this morning. He says about 35 out of 60 Congressfolks would vote to legalize marijuana tomorrow, which, of course, is not enough.

How ’bout a recipe?

Reading the news today it’s as if someone was trying to deliberately encourage me to hate people.

Not that they need any.

Now I don’t hate everyone. Some people have done some very nice things for me over the years, from Tijuana hookers to 3rd party pot providers to the good people at Kevorkian Limited who offered to send the missing piece to the Suicide Home Kit I ordered years ago.

Instead of ranting, how about a recipe? I tried it and found it very agreeable, except I substituted “spinach” with a pound of “ground beef”.

I bought bags of individual “ravioli squares” which I had to arrange. Next time I’ll get the boxed ravs.

“LAZE-ONYA”

2 pkgs frozen cheese ravioli
1 jar spaghetti sauce (e.g. Classico Tomato and Basil)
1 pkg shredded pizza cheese (Sargento)
1 pkg frozen spinach, defrosted and drained

Place ¼ cup sauce in bottom of large casserole dish. Place ravioli in single layer atop sauce, followed by spinach and topped with cheese.

(Each successive layer begins with more sauce).

One layer from bottom up =

cheese

spinach (or meat)

ravioli

sauce

Number of layers depends on size of dish.

Place in 350° oven for 35-40 minutes.

Cheese should be bubbly and ravioli hot throughout.

Death will be my Christmas

“There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.”  –Erna Bombeck

It’s 0140, Christmas morning.  I stopped being a child long ago.  There is very little of me left.

I like adulthood for being able to tune out Christmas music and ignore decorations.  The economy has so many people on edge that spray-snow-in-a-can optimism and cheer has dropped off.  Fatigue is in the air like burning tire smoke.  I want to take a chainsaw to the size of our criminal government, carve it down to something small and useful, like a pocketknife.

I went to the drugstore to peruse the As Seen on Tv crap.  Everything was still $19.99.  No Chia Pets!

No one needs a Chia Pet, that’s why it’s brilliant.  I don’t need one: I have dope.

I’ve smoked-out only once, “in moderation”.  I felt no happier.  I am going through the motions of being alive.

I saw a girl in the drugstore.  Tan jacket and ponytail, not ugly, not beautiful, but lovely.  Life.  I looked at her head, at the chestnut ponytail.  Life.  How pointless and precious.

I didn’t buy shit.  I had bought shit earlier, elsewhere.  I averaged approx. $50 per person times 5, an enormous sum for me.

I’d make it a thousand but I don’t have it.

I hate gifts, even getting them.  Let me explain.  I live in America, do you?  We can get nearly anything we want at any time of year (if you want pot all you gotta do is befriend 3 strangers).  Gifts:  if someone I know wanted something badly and I could afford it, I’d get it for them.  The people I know need what they want, they don’t waste.   I don’t like being forced to do anything; take something pleasurable like buying a gift for someone, and make it mandatory.  That’s hell.

You cannot opt out of the gift game unless you are a hermit.  I’ve tried.  It’s horrible to receive anything when you have nothing to give in return.  And yes, I tried warning everyone I knew not to give me anything.  It doesn’t work.

I have no useful advice for surviving holidays, any of them.  Enjoy what you can.

Death will be my Christmas.   Not suicide but natural death, I can wait.  I look forward to the change of pace and new environment, even in Hell.  It’s hell anyway to be alive yet numb.

Foo, you better RECOGNIZE! Speech recognition software

Dear blog,

While trying to install my old speech recognition program I discovered that Windows Vista has a built-in speech-to-text program.  According to the people that make Dragon NaturallySpeaking, the number one speech recognition software out there, the speech recognition program built into Vista is about five years behind technologically.

I’m a little disappointed with the arrival of 64-bit architecture computers, they’re supposed to already be able to understand speech quite sufficiently. While I’m speaking now my eyes are closed. It’s an unfamiliar feeling to speak to the machine instead of typing.

I figure I’ll just use this for Jack Kerouac-speaking nonstop stream-of-consciousness nonsense and worry about the punctuation later…just throw up a wall of shit like Jack Kerouac and say that everything I do now is stream-of-consciousness.

This technology is unfamiliar to me. Other than the punctuation, I’ve decided not to edit these words for clarity so that you might see the difference between speaking to the machine and keyboard work.

There’s always going to be some obstacle to writing. Understand that when the technology gets so badass that you’ll be able to hold a casual conversation with a computer, you’ll end up shooting the shit with a screen all night instead of writing, or telling it to write.

I’m a big fan of the Terminator franchise and the more I absorb that magical world of killer machines I realize that the machines are taking the wrong approach. The best way to exterminate humans would not be to declare all-out war against them but to fatten them up by doing every possible chore for them. Why, come to think of it, that’s kind of what we have going on now, isn’t it?

I imagine all the bizarre stories I’m going to make up to tell my friends’ grandkids about how everything was so primitive back in the early two-thousands.  “Nowadays you kids can be hyped up on 10 different drugs and speak as fast as you want and the machine will still get it all. Why back in my day we had to smoke marijuana to speak slowly enough that the computer knew what we were saying! Then you’d look up and see 30 pages of, ‘Manny owes me 10 bucks.’

“I’ll tell you one thing, boys, we’re never going to see even in your lifetimes, and that’s a computer capable of understanding what the hell women mean instead of what they say!”

So far I’m really enjoying this, the technology just gets better and better. Yes, I find that for me it’s better for me to close my eyes when concentrating on what to say next, because the technology is new and I’m a little too self-conscious, as if you couldn’t tell from this messy lot of words that have to be edited.

I’m going to stop very soon.

If you go to Amazon, you’ll find that all of the reviews about the speech recognition products end the exact same way: “How do you know this program works? I dictated this entire review!”

How gay.

Pot, pancakes, despair

Last night (ah, the horrors that follow those words) I reached for marijuana, just a few hits off a joint cig (stuff called “Ultra II” if that means anything) the first time I’ve touched any plants since Xmas.

Pain was (and is) eating me alive, but since that’s going to happen anyway, why not file a few teeth out of the shark’s mouth?

It worked, sort of.  I took 4 small hits.  The shit worked as promised and I waited another hour before driving.  I went to my friend Egg’s house, where he prepared homemade French bread pizzas with fresh garlic  (complimenting the half a giant candy bar I wolfed down on the way over).

Egg is up on my complaints with women.  I explained the latest delusions I was using to keep my spirits propped up.  Women are founts of life and primordial swamps of misery.  You can’t hate what you love, the rose has to be planted in manure, etc.  Egg knew all this already, his hard-working wife fully provided him CliffsNotes on the subject of female capriciousness by forever going out with fags while not fucking him as much as he would like.

While Egg left to take his drunkard older brother home, I stayed with his two young sons, the 5-year-old and me ending up watching Born on the 4th of July.  I hate Oliver Stone but don’t deny his genius, his movie worlds have their own laws of physics, morality and are beautiful to watch.

Of course, we couldn’t watch long because of the horrific nature of the film and fortunately the kid lost interest.  When Ron Kovic was lying down screaming (which as Tom Cruise as he did a lot) I told the kid “the guy was having a nightmare he was being burned with a giant popsicle”.  Maybe it was the truth.

I went from my computer to Egg’s computer and the internet was just as I’d left it at my place.  The rambunctious kid kept playfully attacking me, trying to jump on my lap.  Normally I hate children but as an honorary uncle I wrestled him a little.  It helped remove some of the despair from the air.  Despite the urchin’s cherubic looks someday he too will be going through the same hell I am now, that all men suffer, gay or straight, rich or poor.  Who knows what her name will be or even if she’s born yet.

It finally got late.  Egg returned, his wife came back from partying with the finooks and he and I went to Wal-mart and ate breakfast at an all-night chain (not ihop).

I’m going to fucking die and I’m sorry it wasn’t last night in my sleep, those pancakes were good.

Saying No to Dr. No

If I had my druthers (whatever they are) all the Presidential candidates would stand for most of what Ron Paul does.

Hey, I’m for limited government, minimal taxation and maximum personal freedom.

The problem is, the majority of Americans aren’t for those things.

* The average American doesn’t know the Constitution limits government power.

* The average American thinks the government should take care of everyone well beyond those Constitutional limits.

* The average American doesn’t know how the economy works (reference: Homer Simpson in the “Frank Grimes” episode).

And oh yes, the average American has always enjoyed interfering with his neighbors’ happiness, at the cost of his own freedom and tax dollars. Mr. Bluenose has a lovely wife to fuck, yet he feels a zoned, legal red light district would somehow hurt him personally. He’d rather the cops go after strippers turning tricks on the side than child rapists and burglars. It’s also been proven sad-ass drunks can’t stand the sound of stoners laughing, so the naturally growing marijuana plant must be banned.

The idea that people can do as they please provided they don’t infringe on the rights of others is a fairly new idea, one that most Americans presently don’t accept.

Ron Paul’s foreign policy is his key weakness. A strong national defense and military will always be needed, and part of it involves fighting other countries and in other countries. A Paul presidency would see China take over the rest of the world “as long as they don’t invade US territory”. So what, they save us for last?

I like most of Ron Paul’s platform, but it’s ruined by people and reality.