Giving away Nobels like condoms in elementary schools

Right on the heels of The Obamessiah’s Nobel Prize, I too awakened to discover this…

I’m still in shock at winning. But I shouldn’t be, as I was already Time’s Person of the Year in 2006.

Oh wait, I almost forgot!

Hey, let me be the first to congratulate you. Be sure to bring your Nobel Prize to any participating Arby’s for $3 off.

BONUS VIDEO: Steven Crowder presents: I GOTS’ A PEACE PRIZE!

Obama crack corn and I don’t care

Obama comes across as an uninspiring, arrogant phony but I don’t hate him, I almost pity him. I aleady know how the story of the next 4 years goes. Would you like a sneak preview?

Obama enacts Same Old New Deal and expands government’s size and illegitimate power. Economy eventually recovers, taking much longer than it would have if government did nothing. Team Obama takes credit for what the free market did.

OR

Obama enacts Same Old New Deal and expands government’s size and illegitimate power. Economy fails to recover fast enough to people’s liking. The half of the country that didn’t vote for Obama takes up arms. Cleansing begins.

Either scenario is fine with me. You can’t let politics prevent you from enjoying your life, even if your life story includes being swept up in a revolution. No government agency, politician or President has ever brought me prosperity, pussy or anything else. What I want is up to me. How I’ll get it is also up to me.

Due to laziness, there will probabaly be a real civil war or insurrection before I write about a fictional one.

Where your sorry ass been at?

The first meatlights post of 2009 and Jan is already half-over, a case of so much happening that nothing has happened.

Things are in motion and this time I’m going with them.

Even without writing for almost a month, meat-hits remain constant because of posts referring to ‘norpography’. I should send Marc Wallace an e-card.

We’re less than a week away from the Obamessiah taking the reigns. I’m betting it will take less than 4 years for the peeps who voted for him to understand why the other half of the country voted against him.

I see no reason to give His Highness “a chance”. If someone stated his intention to jump off a cliff and meant it, I wouldn’t need to see him do it to believe he was nuts. Obama’s laid out his socialist “plan” and it’s an ‘end justifies the means’ thing. You’ll see. Buy a gun if you haven’t already.

As for the other side, I deem the Bush presidency overall to be a failure (this from someone who supports the Iraq War) because of the bailouts, which are inexcusable; it would’ve been better to let the whole fucking thing collapse. Instead of “saving the free market” Bush cut the ribbon on the road leading to tyranny, and now Obama as Grand Marshal begins the march.

My friends, my friends, let me remind you that it wasn’t deregulation, free markets or freedom that caused this mess, it was government, which treats its citizens’ rights and money like a subcompact rental car.

Enough about pollytix.

Hope you’re enjoying the new year. It’s ridiculous that a man-made invention like calendar time has the power to transform people (more like resetting a computer with a virus) but it seems to help, a little.  New Year’s Day is a symbolic bullet in the head of the corpse of Xmas to assure it’s dead.

Blessings to my 3 readers of the non-sex posts and to the tens of people who read the dirty stuff. Here’s to more sex and filth in oh-nine.

Government Proudly Sucks, or Tiers of rage as I weep for cake

American government these days is like watching a 10-tiered wedding cake on a table with all four legs folding in unison.

I HATE to see cake wasted. The jergoffs we trusted to purchase the table with our money promised it was of good, solid steel, we paid 7 trillion times what steel costs and still got balsa wood table legs held together with Scotch tape and
postage stamps instead of nails.

The time for words is almost over though it should’ve been long ago.

Large numbers of people are going to have to be killed to set things straight.

I almost feel sorry for Obamarx. His pissant, wrong-headed, 500-million dollar socialist New New deal won’t help a fucking thing even when he jacks it up to a cool billion or even two bills. His pathetic ideas to get America “moving” again involve “investing” in highways.  So you put more GED stooges leaning on shovels on the median, big fucking deal.

I pity The Messiah because his four years of inadvertent recession-prolonging schemes are already completely overshadowed by the bailouts, aka The Largest Theft in the History of the World.

Maybe it’s better these numbfuck Washington aristocrats continue making the worst possible choices so revolution is inevitable.

But the blame for all of this still falls squarely on the shoulder of the People, that is, you and me.

We are the First Cause, we are our own cheap table legs. We got fat and lazy and we took it for granted that someone else was watching the crooks. It’s the prelude to every tale of a collapsing civilization.

The biggest mistake made in the past 60 years was/is letting the government run education. The Founding Fathers never addressed the idea of a “free” and public education because back then school was a luxury of the upper classes; most people were farmers or in manual trades where the younger you started the better.

I bet none of the Founders would approve of modern public education, seeing it for what it is: pro-government indoctrination camps run by a lazy, costly cartel. The Founders’ brilliance was that they had a healthy fear of government power, and rightly so. The lying fucks that run these schools are claiming government is your BFFL and deserves to be included in every aspect of your life. No wonder we’re screwed.

The bailouts happened because We the American people are by and large ignorant and apathetic about how (badly) government works and how free markets work.

We have allowed ourselves to be swindled and deserve every drop of blood soon to be spilled.

Beyond criminal bailouts, the problem remains our federal leviathan with its endless, expensive “helpful” programs, trying to poison the weeds of social ills with water and sunshine.

There’s no sense trying to save this cake, it’s already sailing towards the floor. Next time maybe we’ll make a 3-tiered cake and set it on a marble table. After a good few years of Mad Max-style hope and change.