Posts Tagged ‘sucks’

A brief spike in traffic

Wednesday, 14 February 2018

For 3 days running I had over 100 views to the site, akin to a miracle.  I’m not that interesting, so it must’ve all been for recent Jeopardy! contestant Rachel Lindgren.

It’s my duty to warn you thirsty nerds AGAIN that smart women are not a solution to anything and being a sapiosexual is a road to nowhere.  If she’s smart while you’re enamored (subtract 25 IQ points for each boob and asscheek) you’re in QUADRUPLE the danger of being manipulated.  Not that I overly give a shit what happens to you, you’re probably better off than me.

I believe this blog is now 10 or 11 years old, which means little because I rarely posted after 2009, was it?  It has brought me neither joy nor grief, certainly no money or gavina.  I don’t read my own shit so I’ve forgotten most of it, except to remember impassioned movie reviews about Batman (pointless) or politics (far more pointless) and cussing out my wage slave job while doing nothing to improve my lot in life.

Two things happened in the last 5 years which changed the entire arc of my  inclinations, I got out of the shit job and I “discovered” whores.  Also, my father died  at 73 of natural causes, if you count lung cancer as natural.

The whores saved my life.  Once I was getting laid fairly regularly all the Mysteries of Womanhood evaporated, which was bittersweet, but poetry is either written out of your system or it burns you from the inside out like drinking bleach.  Poetry IS drinking bleach, usually for the reader. 

The women’s humanity made me less of a misogynist, and it even seemed a few of them enjoyed the ride beyond getting paid.  (I haven’t been laid in over a year due to health problems so that’s on pause.)

I’m closer to 50 than 40 now.  I’m not better than I was in 2006, but like to think I’ve learned much the last 10 or 11 years.  I wouldn’t trade my scant “life’s work” of writing for falling in love.   

Here are the final lines from a long ago poem.

I know it’s coming, death or a balloon.

The slitted eyes of a petted cat.

Advertisements

Reviews of movie previews I watched with disdain

Monday, 25 May 2009

When I went to see Star Trek, I got hit with the endless stream of previews I’d hoped to avoid by showing up 10 minutes late to Wolverine.

I already knew Will Ferrell is a talentless asshole from his last 10 movies, so why make Land of the Lost? There wasn’t a single reaction from the sizable crowd to anything in the preview. The best “funny” line the morons who made this turd could come up with is, “Matt Lauer can suck it.” That wouldn’t be funny even if people knew who Matt Lauer is/was/whatever.

The preview for the new Terminator movie, now out and given awful reviews, also garnered no reaction from the crowd. I felt silly-assed for ever liking Terminator after seeing it. After the audio of what’s-his-face yelling at some poor shlub on the set was leaked two months ago I lost interest. Hey, Jerkoff: you’re a multi-millionaire actor and beloved Batman. No less than Ivanka Trump called you, “some kind of Adonis”. You don’t need to piss and moan over an honest mistake. People go to the movies to escape from asshole bosses yelling at them.

The only preview that got any reaction at all was the CG movie UP, which should’ve been called “The Old Jew’s Flying Balloon House”.

SkyJew* would also be a badass name for a movie, but it doesn’t yet exist. No one tell Will Fuckface Ferrell about SkyJew.

Thanks.


*(Apparently, the term “skyjew” already exists, as an anti-Semitic reference to seagulls! What a world, what a world).


Smallville Season 8 Finale – Sucked

Thursday, 14 May 2009

I’m not gonna put any more effort into this review than the writers did with Smallville’s season finale.

Really, the show is so bad that I’m more impressed with how little the producers are offering fans and how much they’re getting away with rather than how well any story is told.

Doomsday, both character and storyline, was a total flop, and the featured non-battle lasting less than a minute was exactly what I figured they’d do, with the exception that Super-Lana was nowhere to be seen.

I didn’t look for any announcements online that a Season 9 had been approved, hell, maybe it hasn’t been. It would almost be a blessing to leave it all in limbo.

The obscenities against fans are stacking up: power orbs, talismans, prophecies, the female Lex wannabe, a dumbfuck Clark whose powers are stripped from him or their limitations rewritten every other episode, and now future/time travel shit with the League from the Future or whoever they are, brought in as a plot-saving cheap stunt in the vein of “it was all a dream”: I can’t believe there’s any Smallville fan over the age of 12 who shed a tear when Jimmy Olsen “died”.

I’m wondering if the one guy who actually visited M39 to argue that ‘you’re not being forced to watch the show’ would still show his face after tonight’s miscarriage.

Why do I still subject myself to Smallville? Because I love Superman and the Superman mythos.

Unfortunately for the still-millions of Smallville fans, we’re not being entertained and rewarded for caring.

We’re only watching for signs of life.

You’re not dreaming, asshole: America **is** under siege by communist tyrants

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

The current President of the United States is a communist piece of shit, voted in democratically, just like Hitler. He has no self-respect as well as no respect for America; bowing like a subservient coward and slave to a raghead monarch during his recent Bash-America/Asslick Muslims Tour. The only people The One makes a show of strength against are Americans who don’t want to serve Big Daddy Government (Please don’t mention our heroic SEALS sniping a few Somali fuckfaces…if YObama had real balls the sky over that area of ocean would be DARK with Predator drones and the whole Somalian COASTLINE would already look like a crawling catepillar of NAPALM).

A fascist cunt-dyke leads the Department of Homeland Tyranny, releasing groundless statements like this, trying to bait the 50+ million conservatives in this country.

If you voted for the Marxlatto, you should feel stupid.--not forever–but at least once this year you should look in the mirror and say:

“Self, I fucked up real bad voting for this fascist asshole. Dumbo didn’t legalize my weed, he didn’t get me a job, he didn’t fix jack shit, he took all my hope and left me with loose change. I got fucked in the ass like I was on my gay honeymoon in Iowa. I won’t make the same mistake in 2012.”

For those of you who think everything is just fine or getting better—WAKE UP.

The USA won’t remain free under the thumb of a Dumbo-eared Castro wannabe, it will either shrink into a communist hellhole or shrug off these motherfucking tyrants before it’s too late.

If it takes another Civil War, so be it.

Which reminds me, TV still sucks

Tuesday, 27 November 2007

One more knife in the heart from Smallville occured a few eps back.  It must’ve been around Thanksgiving on the show’s timeline or something, for there was a happy, Rockwellian slow motion of almost the entire cast sitting around a bountiful table, passing heaping plates of food.  Every character at the table had either held guns or shot the others at some point in the show’s run.  Lex Luthor alone has a body count akin to the Green River Killer.  It’s as if S-ville’s dickhead crew filmed the cast having dinner then stuck it in ’cause they lost some real footage.

There, now the shame can heal.

Regarding more TV, Dirty Howie writes:

“I don’t watch t.v. shows at all. I stayed with The Sopranos and Lost as long as I could but lost interest.  The Sopranos last show was a gutless copout by a writer who did what he did because he was mad that he had to write that show for as long as he did.  So he just ended it without ending it. How the show’s producers allowed this to happen is beyond me but maybe they were sick and tired of it too like everyone else. As for LOST who knows when that fucker will ever see airtime again. It ended with Jack the dumbass calling for help when the leader guy of the island, who he just beat the shit out of, told him not to call for help because those “helpers” were really after the island and its mysterious powers and would kill everyone on the island so they could have it for themselves. Besides, Michelle Rodriguez had the best character on the show, a no nonsense bitch played very well by her since she is a no nonsense bitch, and they up and killed her almost as fast as they put her in the script. So Lost pretty much lost me when they offed my favorite character on their never-ending show. Maybe they should rename the show to Lost: Where’s The Last Script At, Niggo?”

END HOWIE.

For awhile there I don’t think ANYone was watching SOPRANOS, even before the year-long hiatuses.  The last season was great until the end…regarding the last episode I agree on all counts, it was like a steaming turd hanging from the butt, refusing to drop…and when Hillary Clunkton does an unfunny parody to advertise herself, how hip could it be?

I was dismayed to read there was no explanation or additional info on the final episode on the Sopranos final season DVD release (maybe the asshole writers are saving something for the entire series box set).  Regardless, I ain’t never going to buy any of that until 2015, when the entire last 30 years of ALL televised shows will fit on something the size of a credit card.

I gave up on LOST when they killed off the fat guy’s potential girlfriend.  And yes, killing Rodriquez was a major mistake.  I hear Baldy Blue Eyes (the crip who could walk again after the plane crash) and Mr. Scary Negro have also been offed.

Someone told me of a skit on SNL where guest star Matthew Fox is in an elevator and one after the other, cast members leave saying, “You know what I love about riding this elevator?  Unlike your show, SOMETHING HAPPENS”.  Ha ha ha.

A switchout of writers is what fucked LOST up.  LOST fans of late are happy to have the original writers back…but I was already gone and will stay that way.

HEROES also took too long to get to the fucking point.  Serializing any series so that if you miss one episode you’re totally lost is foolish, even with Tivo.  I didn’t even make it to the end of Heroes’ Season One.

TV continues to suck ass.  We all have our guilty pleasures, but it just sucks.  Always will.

Advertisements