American Gods Ep. 4: Tits or GTFO

Ep 4 of American Gods is automatically better than Ep 3 because there are no futt-bucking muslims anywhere. We get the story of the whore wife. What’s worse than her cheating on Sha-dope was marrying the poor fool. He loves her, she loves nothing. More insulting, we see her ass (or a body double’s ass) for less than a second and NO titties, this after last week’s unwelcome gay muslim sausage-fest (for which today’s muslim bombing of the Ariana Grande concert is revenge?)

This is the first episode Sha-dope is allowed to emote, giving him some depth, so there’s that. The saddest part was Dummy the Cat. I was disappointed his ghost self didn’t appear in Anubis’ afterlife sandbox, even just to take a shit.

Oh and uh, since the Hannibal TV show dudes made AG, “Tobias” is back as one of the Old Gods.

 

I don’t give a shit movie reviews

Transformers 2: Recap. for anyone who thinks it rocked…5 primes huddling like gay faggots and turning into a mountain.

Terminator Salvation: I once pooped while dehydrated and without enough fiber and swore I was shitting a cactus made of sandpaper.  That was better than T:S.

District 9: space roaches have a giant anti-gravity spaceship and a few cool spaceguns only they can operate, but they’d rather live in a slum, buying cat food from Nigerians and knocking junk out of each other’s claws.

G.I. Joe: Storm Shadow the Japanese ninja is played by a Korean. G.I.Joe lives under the pyramids. Half the team are unlikely foreign Blacks plus a fucking Muslim. Mandatory, totally unnecessary, insulting interracial hookup in this movie  is jive-asshole Marlon “Ripcord” Wayans pursuing a vapid, flat-butted White girl “genius” (Scarlett) who falls for him anyway, proving she’s an idiot. A lot of CGI and nonsense. Rip-off of Firefox. Cobra Commander sounds like Darth Vader. TUH-HANE!

Watchmen: All anyone remembers is that glowing blue guy’s penis. I liked Rorschach. Everyone does.

Wanted: Finally saw it. Too much slow motion. The White guy who almost got eaten by Idi Amin is in it. Angelina Jolie is hot but has ugly hands. Bullets curve around things. Morgan Freeman is Black. The looms were the most interesting things.

Date Movie: Alyson Hannigan, aka Flutepussy, is cute in one scene and ugly the next. A Black Midget. Crunk scene was the only real laugh.

Animated Wonder Woman movie: Tits or GTFO. Peppy. Amazon MILFS. Nothing to jack off to.

Hope you enjoyed this.  If not, it’s too late.