Dexter’s Series Finale

I’ve waited this long to address the series finale of Dexter. 

Normally “laziness” would be the #1 reason why but in this case it’s such a POS (piece of shit) ending it’s not worth even this bit of commentary.

I have no interest in proving how valid my theory is on why it ended on such a sour note, but here it is:

You have a series where the two leads–playing brother and sister in the Dexterverse–MARRY and DIVORCE in real life.

Carpenter has been a pretty good sport about the whole thing, but she’s also fed up with being typecast as Deb, a character she’s played for almost ten years, and done so well that people on the street call her Deb.

It was Carpenter who’d had enough, who demanded Deb be killed off. She didn’t want a Dexter feature film two years later, didn’t want anything to do with it, and so Hall, who probably also had enough, agreed to the shitty ending. According to the wiki, they knew what the ending would be even before Season 7 started.

That’s pretty much it.

I still love Dexter and simply forget Season 8 ever took place.

No time to stall, the Dexter finale is days away

Last week’s penultimate episode of Dexter was in the spirit of this entire season, which is laziness. When actors act like people who’ve read the script instead of characters in real situations, all tension is lost.

As an overall point to the stupidity of this season, why is it important that Dexter leave the country WITH Blondie McPoisoner, creating a far easier target to catch?  Why not send her away immediately and have Dex casually join her, say, two months later?  Because that would defeat the tension, which still ended up a deflated balloon in lieu of nothing.

When Elway returns the rest of Deb’s things, she kicks him out but is not smart enough to OPEN THE FUCKING BAG and check for bugs or other recording devices. Instead of going to the bedroom where Blondie McPoisoner hid, Blondie runs out into the living room with windows on every side. Glad they read the script and therefore knew Elway wouldn’t jump back around the corner and look inside, or be watching the house with binocs.

When it’s decided that Blondie will stay at a hotel (FINALLY) why does it have to be a hotel near the airport? Those are the first places Marshal Windblown Hair and Elway would check. Of course, it didn’t help that Deb and Blondie have one last heartfelt IN FRONT OF THE HOTEL and Blondie’s not wearing anything–not even a ballcap–to disguise herself.

Dexter not killing Saxon? WTF is this idiocy? To make it even more embarrassing, Dex says something like, “You’ll die, but in the electric chair.” In Florida, the electric chair was replaced by lethal injection in 2000 (though it can still be requested).

One more time:  Dexter not killing Saxon? WTF IS THIS IDIOCY!  If you had a chance to kill someone who had threatened your entire family, would you leave it up to the fucking courts to take care of them?

Marshal Windblown Hair got killed by Saxon?  If the good Marshal was just that, and a new manhunt for Saxon had just been announced by the media, wouldn’t Marshal Hair have a police radio in his car, what with being in law enforcement and all?  If not that, wouldn’t his cell phone immediately light up? Modern cell phones are connected to the Emergency Alert System for weather warnings. So Marshall Hair’s phone has nothing?

Unlike the last few weeks, I watched the coming attractions for this Sunday’s finale. Didn’t care too much and am not going to look for clues on how it all ends, though I read somewhere that Jennifer Carpenter wanted Deb to die.

Dexter hasn’t purely been Dexter since Season 4.  Dexter should not have changed so much over the seasons, but what’s done is done. Guess we’ll all have to go back to our lives.

Dexter has feelins now. What more can be said?

This final disappointing season of Dexter is still better than most everything on TV. Complaints are many: bringing Blondie McPoisoner back was stupid, Harrison’s a little asshole, Vogel is stupid (or rather was) and Dexter’s feelins are as unlikely as an amputee regrowing a limb; he’s devolved into a sentimental idiot by a story arc that has phoned it in all season just to get to the ending. It’s surprising how there’s no buildup or suspense this close to the end.

Let’s just go topic by topic.

Blondie McPoisoner:  I know it’s a TV show, but if you were an escaped convict blonde hottie ‘the entire state’ was hunting, wouldn’t you wear unflattering, baggy clothing and cut off your hair or dye it black? That’s bad enough, but in scene after scene, Blondie’s posed in front of windows great and small in broad daylight. Even when Deb comes in from the beach and warns Clayton was just here questioning her, Blondie barely reacts. That’s laziness, reacting as actors who know the script instead of acting like real characters.

Vogel: one of the major problems is they really didn’t know what to do with Vogel after intro-ing her. Her dumbest ideas–suggesting Zach be taught The Code or trying to reform her son–rang the most true, as mental health professionals know the least about human nature. For me, Vogel’s believability as a character ended earlier in the season with her staying in the same house long after the original Brain Surgeon knew she was there and even attacked her there.

Vogel’s son Daniel: (and likely Dexter’s future killer) has Hitler hair and dead eyes. I never bought the emotional connection by Vogel for this monster, but even less convincing is why Daniel would seek acceptance or approval from Vogel? He didn’t need her to “show him how to live” as he had already done so successfully for decades, and sociopaths can’t feel love (too-late note to the writers: sociopaths can’t feel anything).

The writers needed him around, I guess, for a final showdown with Dexter. Convenience over logic.

It’s simply not believable Vogel would go from begging Dexter not to kill Daniel numerous times to having a complete change of heart after watching two seconds of video of Daniel killing Zach.

Vogel, not Dexter, had the best chance of killing her idiot son; should have shot the fucker when he came around for tea, as he never would’ve expected it. Her *coughcough* untimely murder was also out of character: she went as a lamb to the slaughter whereas with the Brain Surgeon she used a surprising number of psychological tricks to fight back and buy time.

So how will Dexter end? Probably not in a satisfying way.  Vogel would have had immense resources at her disposal in smuggling Blondie out of the country without Dexter’s immediate aid, but not now, of course.

If Dexter dies, most fans will simply forget it happened, just like they forgot the Star Wars prequels happened.

Two more eps to go. There will either be a shock ending, or some Argentinian serial killer will awaken cursing in Spanish before the final curtain.

Dexter Season 8 is Great!

Well, here we are, one-third through the final season of Dexter. I’d no idea the series had begun, then caught up in one fell swoop. So far it’s enjoyable, the ‘worst’ season of Dexter is still better than 99% of the schlock out there and for me Dexter has no bad season.

I confess my assessment of Season 7  was rather harsh. Season 8 has ‘solved’ most of the logical problems presented at the end of Season 7 with little asides. Somehow Matthews is back at work, Masuka may or may not have a sperm-donor daughter (with eyes as soulful yet haunting as his) to keep him occupied, Batista glazed over dead-and-gone La Guerta’s files, actually finding the search warrants for both Deb and Dex among her things and tossing them aside (is he still running the damned restaurant)?

Hannah aka Blondie McPoisoner is still out there. There’s enough going on that her return is unnecessary.

I’d written at the start of this year: I will be insulted if Jaime hooks up with Quinn. Yep, here at Dexter Inc. we’re too lazy and cheap to hire another actor, so we’ll just hook these two up. Convenience!

Observing them interact in Season 8, I stand by my original statement. Having these two characters meet cute IS convenient for the writers, as it gives sidelined Batista something to do and a way to create a flimsy triangle of ‘tension’ between Deb, Quinn and Jaime.

For Quinn, a seasoned older ‘player’, to be in a relationship with Jaime is farcical. Quinn goes through girls her age like Kleenex, and after being with Deb, a fellow cop and cursing male fantasy, Jaime is just window dressing. (Off the subject, am I the only one who thinks Quinn looks terrible this season? Like the actor is doing heavy drugs and drinking in real life)?

I like Dr. Vogel (or as various characters refer to her, simply “Vogel”). Charlotte Rampling brings some dignity and class to the series and steals every scene. I would enjoy being in a menage à AARP with her and Helen Mirren.

Season 8’s story arc is engaging so far. Bringing in Vogel was a stroke of genius. Her reveal to Dexter that she created Harry’s Code brings an epic feeling back to the series and somewhat atones for turning Dexter’s character from serial killer to plain vigilante the last few seasons. (The use by Vogel of the term ‘psychopath’ makes me cringe. Using it to sell her books is logical but it’s not a definition used by the medical community). Deb’s erratic behavior has made for some entertaining moments but thankfully Vogel is there at least attempting to help her, otherwise Deb would be exhausting to keep up with.

Dexter is, well, Dexter. Without Michael C. Hall’s genius, the series would have fizzled years ago. Loyalty to and sympathy for Dexter/Hall from fans remains at an all-time high.

I’m glad I waited until watching episode 4 before writing this review, because my only real complaint with the show, and not just this season, is the lack of electronic surveillance on Dexter’s part. As proven last episode, hidden cameras are the number one enemy of plots in the Dexterverse.

Think about it: if Dexter had installed hidden cameras in his apartment before or even after the Ice Truck Killer left a doll’s head in his freezer, he would have seen Biney’s face before Season 1 was halfway over.

Now, in Season 8, Vogel is inexplicably staying in the same dwelling even though The Brain Surgeon has delivered THREE separate packages. Aside from the insanity of her continuing to stay there, a hidden camera on Vogel’s stoop would have made Dexter’s life a lot easier, huh?

SPECULATION AHEAD.

I would gamble that Vogel will reveal herself to be a psychopath by the end of Episode 8. It’s entirely possible she will try to kill Deb or give her up to The Brain Surgeon, so Dexter won’t be distracted by anything but getting revenge. Batista or even Matthews could get curious about La Guerta again.  As for the series’ ending, it would be better not to kill Dexter off.  Stay Tuned.

 

 

 

Dexter should’ve ended with Season 7

Season 7 of Dexter ended one month ago.

Here’s how badly the writers fucked up: Deb should’ve shot Dexter and the series should’ve ended this season. I would’ve been cool with that.

This is far from an in-depth analysis, I’ll just throw some things out there.

Detective Joesph “Pretty Boy” Quinn: I like Quinn. At first I thought his “romance” with the dancer was dumb and just served the plot, and I was correct, it wasn’t at all believable. At the end of an episode last season Quinn is shown mournfully dog-banging some bimbo at least as hot as the dancer, so his “falling” for the foreign dancer rang false; he’s just not a guy who would ever be desperate for pussy. From a certain point of view, one could argue that Quinn was merely seeking a more meaningful relationship, but after his dalliance with Deb, it would be far more likely he would pursue/seek out another broad with Deb’s demeanor, who “thinks like a dude” without being a dude. Deb is smart, the dancer was/is a dumbass.

I will be insulted if Jaime hooks up with Quinn. Yep, here at Dexter Inc. we’re too lazy and cheap to hire another actor, so we’ll just hook these two up. Convenience!

Isaac Sirkos: an average and somewhat early ending to a plot that went nowhere. Compared to how seemingly high-ranked he was, the mob disowned him way too soon.

Batista: He’s just background noise they’re keeping around to have something awful happen to next season (besides possibly mourning LaGuerta). Though he makes it to retirement, the idea that he’s both running a restaurant and being a cop, even for a short time, just wasn’t realistic. You could do one job well and the other badly, or both badly, but not both properly. Also, with the “mysterious” death of Iron Eagle, this is the SECOND time Batista has heard shots fired out of sequence against the official story (the first time was Doakes versus the Haitian ex-soldier under the pier) and been duped or agreed to be duped.

Hannah aka Blondie McPoisoner. The whole story arc was handled illogically and ended badly. Blondie said it herself: she doesn’t make mistakes. If that were true, then Deb would be dead from a proper overdose of Deb’s meds plus some aconite for good measure. Also, if Hannah were smart, she’d have killed off Arlene long ago. She had a reason to kill off Arlene for being a loose thread, whereas she had NO good reason to kill off her boss, the previous owner of the nursery. Now she’s escaped (“That’s some mighty fine police work there, Lou”) and is running about but, dead or alive, her character is done, even if she comes back to kill Deb or some such nonsense.

The Main Event: Within the Dexterverse, there’s just too much shit to ever make another season work. Bringing Matthews on board ensured there was no tidy wrap-up. BTW, does anyone believe Matthews wouldn’t have already gotten his full pension from a forced retirement? Government is government, short-changing him would all but promise he expose his own “crime” in order to embarrass the department, the very thing the department was trying to avoid by firing him.

The series really ended when LaGuerta arrested Dexter and brought him to the station, spilling the beans. How many minds will be cast in doubt, even among the extras? For fuck’s sake, these are detectives, right? Isn’t a huge part of their job to entertain theories? Whatever tableaux Dexter arranged with LaGuerta’s corpse, there are still too many loose ends:

LaGuerta’s pending warrants for Deb and Dex’s cellphones
AND the survelliance photos of Deb buying gasoline,
AND Deb requesting LaGuerta’s “20” via a call to Miami Metro,
AND Matthews with nothing better to do but dwell on the case,
AND Masuka restudying the evidence locker,
AND a Batista-in-mourning snooping around,
AND, though they haven’t shown it (yet) LaGuerta would have kept a journal or log or something noting events and evidence as well as her theories and thoughts…

All this is in addition to Deb who is now a zombie.

There’s really nowhere to go from here. As stated in one of the final Season 7 episodes, Dexter won’t be running, either with or without Deb, as that would be unacceptable.

There’s yet ANOTHER problem, having to do with the Dexterverse versus our world. Dexter Morgan has a huge, loyal following in real life. Killing him off at the end of Season 8, done as a kind of karmic “rebalancing” to the universe is a bullshit “Crime Doesn’t Pay” ending that will satisfy no one, yet after killing off LaGuerta, it seems all of the good he’s done has been for nothing.

It’s a sad, sick feeling, realizing somehow we’ve arrived at a point where it would be equally ridiculous for Dexter to live OR die.

Season 8 can wait.

Deb should’ve shot Dexter and the series should’ve ended this season. I would’ve been cool with that.

One more very last thing: if, at the start of Season 8, LaGuerta is somehow alive and chained up like Doakes, and Blondie McPoisoner kills her off so she and Dex can be together (a la Lila) I’m going to turn into Dexter myself and put each of the show’s writers on MY table, one at a time.