Posts Tagged ‘tv’

A brief spike in traffic

Wednesday, 14 February 2018

For 3 days running I had over 100 views to the site, akin to a miracle.  I’m not that interesting, so it must’ve all been for recent Jeopardy! contestant Rachel Lindgren.

It’s my duty to warn you thirsty nerds AGAIN that smart women are not a solution to anything and being a sapiosexual is a road to nowhere.  If she’s smart while you’re enamored (subtract 25 IQ points for each boob and asscheek) you’re in QUADRUPLE the danger of being manipulated.  Not that I overly give a shit what happens to you, you’re probably better off than me.

I believe this blog is now 10 or 11 years old, which means little because I rarely posted after 2009, was it?  It has brought me neither joy nor grief, certainly no money or gavina.  I don’t read my own shit so I’ve forgotten most of it, except to remember impassioned movie reviews about Batman (pointless) or politics (far more pointless) and cussing out my wage slave job while doing nothing to improve my lot in life.

Two things happened in the last 5 years which changed the entire arc of my  inclinations, I got out of the shit job and I “discovered” whores.  Also, my father died  at 73 of natural causes, if you count lung cancer as natural.

The whores saved my life.  Once I was getting laid fairly regularly all the Mysteries of Womanhood evaporated, which was bittersweet, but poetry is either written out of your system or it burns you from the inside out like drinking bleach.  Poetry IS drinking bleach, usually for the reader. 

The women’s humanity made me less of a misogynist, and it even seemed a few of them enjoyed the ride beyond getting paid.  (I haven’t been laid in over a year due to health problems so that’s on pause.)

I’m closer to 50 than 40 now.  I’m not better than I was in 2006, but like to think I’ve learned much the last 10 or 11 years.  I wouldn’t trade my scant “life’s work” of writing for falling in love.   

Here are the final lines from a long ago poem.

I know it’s coming, death or a balloon.

The slitted eyes of a petted cat.

Star Trek: Discovery?

Wednesday, 11 October 2017

My new rule is never to put more effort into reviews of things than the creators did creating it. So here are some notes on Star Trek: Discovery.

* Decent effects and acting. Not as politically correct as I thought but still problems.

* The lead is a human Black woman who was raised on Vulcan by–wait for it–Spock’s parents.

* Vulblack is sent out alone in a spacesuit, copying Spock in the first Star Trek movie. They send the show’s lead–second in command–when they have a ROBOT crewmember wearing a Daft Punk helmet on the bridge.

* The Chinese Womancaptain failed to heed Vulblack’s valuable tactical advice for defeating Klingons, advice which should have been readily available to anyone in Starfleet.

* Chinese Womancaptain is killed for being an idiot. Vulblack gets the blame.

* The #1 in Command of the Federation Fleet shows up at the disastrous battle. An arrogant White Guy, his ship is rammed and destroyed.

* In the latest episode, another woman is killed for making a rash decision to bully a massive alien lifeform. Women are bad luck on ships.

* The show’s creators explained the Klingons are “Trump supporters.” For that to be true, the Klingon government would have open orders and be flooding Klingon territory with foreigners.

* The Klingons who yell, “REMAIN KLINGON!” are written by writers who IRL yell,”REMAIN JEWISH!” In other words, only Jews and Asians are allowed to preserve their unique cultures. Everyone else must suffer DIVERSITY, including Klingons.

* Klingons are warriors who find meaning in battle. They don’t need a PC excuse to do anything.

* The writers boasted Discovery would have a Gay in the regular cast. In the first episode they killed of The Gay’s partner. In other words, Gay & Switch.

* For The Record: I am against any non-Vulcan being able to deliver the Vulcan nerve pinch, so Data and Vulblack can cram it. I always assumed the Pinch works like a Taser and only Vulcans could do it due to telepathy.

* There’s so much shit out there it’s not worth getting mad over a single TV show.

* I love this song.  Beautiful for lovers and serial killers alike.








Poisoned by Welfare

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Zukks quit because gays in California had just received a domestic something-or-other which qualified them for housing loans; since his religion does not condone The Gay, he told his boss he could not continue to work there.

Happily married two years ago with a precious baby son arriving a year after that, he sent out a mass email to friends requesting financial help.  I was more than happy to send him money; he had put me up many a night when I was living in my car in LA.

I didn’t realize Zukks had so many friends, with the donations he was able to buy a 70’s camper and escape from LA to Oregon, where his father had recently retired.

Life in the Pacific Wonderland is pretty sweet for Zukks. He nor his wife have to work to receive welfare benefits, he alone just has to attend certain job meetings to stay qualified, like taking SCUBA classes with zero intention of going anywhere near water.

The last time we conversed telephonically Zukks threw me a new one: it was the gays’ fault for his family having ended up where they were, therefore he was the victim, a claim so ridiculous I’m embarrassed to even type it.

When Zukks recently pestered me via texts (on his obamaphone) I went off on him, reminding him I worked and was therefore not always available.

You do remember WORK, don’t you?

He texted back: Ha ha good luck if im supposed to feel guilty for getting free stuff.

I didn’t answer.

This is what welfare does to once-productive people. Welfare–or rather the condition of non-work it enables–is the most seductive and powerful of all the addictions, more powerful than heroin, nicotine, alcohol, TV and the internet combined. The longer you lie on your back in the social safety net, the more it feels like a hammock. Every working person is a potential welfare junkie. No one is immune to the lure of paid leisure and not having to deal with unpleasant people for whatever length of time they consider excessive (for me it’s 5 minutes).

Zukks still has principles, poisoned though they are. The part of his faith about God requiring work he seems to have forgotten, but when the Oregonian System announced that in order to continue receiving benefits his wife would have to begin the same employment classes, he declined. He wants Wifey to be a stay-at-home mother, a noble goal, if they could do it on their own dime and time.

Just when it seemed Zukks was going to have to take control of his life again his income tax refund arrived, and just as that money ran out the State made him eligible for benefits again. (UPDATE:  More good news, Oregonians, Zukks’ wifey is indeed knocked up; the ensuing hospital care is on your tab)! You people sure are generous with your granola. 

I asked Zukks a while back if he planned on living this way forever. He appears to have no plan for the morrow, and the sobering truth is, he probably could live off The System forever, no matter which political party rules (we’re so far gone that as you’re reading this, you’re already thinking of someone you know who is gaming the system).

When Zukks was working, he always did quite well, making more than me most years, and that’s sans the fake degree from the fake school where we first met. Now he’s being paid by the State to fail.

I’m the first to admit failing to live up to full potential, but I eat the shit, deal with assholes and pay the fucking bills that have to be paid, as do millions of Americans. The law can’t force someone to feel guilty (even as a motivator to do and be better) but it should force welfare rollers to acknowledge, even if it just means checking a box, that “free” means someone else is paying for it.






Which reminds me, TV still sucks

Tuesday, 27 November 2007

One more knife in the heart from Smallville occured a few eps back.  It must’ve been around Thanksgiving on the show’s timeline or something, for there was a happy, Rockwellian slow motion of almost the entire cast sitting around a bountiful table, passing heaping plates of food.  Every character at the table had either held guns or shot the others at some point in the show’s run.  Lex Luthor alone has a body count akin to the Green River Killer.  It’s as if S-ville’s dickhead crew filmed the cast having dinner then stuck it in ’cause they lost some real footage.

There, now the shame can heal.

Regarding more TV, Dirty Howie writes:

“I don’t watch t.v. shows at all. I stayed with The Sopranos and Lost as long as I could but lost interest.  The Sopranos last show was a gutless copout by a writer who did what he did because he was mad that he had to write that show for as long as he did.  So he just ended it without ending it. How the show’s producers allowed this to happen is beyond me but maybe they were sick and tired of it too like everyone else. As for LOST who knows when that fucker will ever see airtime again. It ended with Jack the dumbass calling for help when the leader guy of the island, who he just beat the shit out of, told him not to call for help because those “helpers” were really after the island and its mysterious powers and would kill everyone on the island so they could have it for themselves. Besides, Michelle Rodriguez had the best character on the show, a no nonsense bitch played very well by her since she is a no nonsense bitch, and they up and killed her almost as fast as they put her in the script. So Lost pretty much lost me when they offed my favorite character on their never-ending show. Maybe they should rename the show to Lost: Where’s The Last Script At, Niggo?”


For awhile there I don’t think ANYone was watching SOPRANOS, even before the year-long hiatuses.  The last season was great until the end…regarding the last episode I agree on all counts, it was like a steaming turd hanging from the butt, refusing to drop…and when Hillary Clunkton does an unfunny parody to advertise herself, how hip could it be?

I was dismayed to read there was no explanation or additional info on the final episode on the Sopranos final season DVD release (maybe the asshole writers are saving something for the entire series box set).  Regardless, I ain’t never going to buy any of that until 2015, when the entire last 30 years of ALL televised shows will fit on something the size of a credit card.

I gave up on LOST when they killed off the fat guy’s potential girlfriend.  And yes, killing Rodriquez was a major mistake.  I hear Baldy Blue Eyes (the crip who could walk again after the plane crash) and Mr. Scary Negro have also been offed.

Someone told me of a skit on SNL where guest star Matthew Fox is in an elevator and one after the other, cast members leave saying, “You know what I love about riding this elevator?  Unlike your show, SOMETHING HAPPENS”.  Ha ha ha.

A switchout of writers is what fucked LOST up.  LOST fans of late are happy to have the original writers back…but I was already gone and will stay that way.

HEROES also took too long to get to the fucking point.  Serializing any series so that if you miss one episode you’re totally lost is foolish, even with Tivo.  I didn’t even make it to the end of Heroes’ Season One.

TV continues to suck ass.  We all have our guilty pleasures, but it just sucks.  Always will.

TV Redux

Monday, 19 November 2007

The lazy-assed writers of Smallville are counting on fans’ loyalty to the Superman mythos. 

That’s why most weeks they churn out crap.

Supposedly this is the last season, and so the long-suffering will endure.

During last week’s show, Chloe (the only hot chick) says to Clark, “My (insert automobile’s name here) gets great gas mileage but blahblahblah.”

I stopped the Tivo, froze the expression on my face and walked into the bathroom to see what a fucking idiot looks like (the show’s producers must think I am to pull that kind of stunt).

I wouldn’t mind such blatant ad-placement if there were NO commercials at all, but that’s not the case.

There were even more shameful episodes the last two seasons where ad-placed cars should’ve gotten acting credits.

Of course, the final crime comitted against Smallville fans never seeing Tom Welling’s Clark Kent as Superman.  The excuse, aside from all the lawyering problems, will be the producers of both the next Supes movie and the TV show don’t want to “confuse” audiences with two Supermen (never mind the long list of pre-Reeve actors who’ve played the Big S).  If Superman Returns wasn’t such an unwatchable turd I might agree with the producers’ “logic”.

I don’t feel like writing an essay about “What Superman Means to Me” right now.  Maybe later.


Bionic Woman is officially a cyberturd.  NBC tried, and failed.  Whatever its problems I don’t care anymore, it’s unwatchable.  Michelle Ryan is not as hot as I once thought she was, and after Smallville being on the air for almost a decade, why would anyone care about the (weak) powers of someone with only 3 rechargeable limbs?  The younger sister is a real asshole too, I would pray for a sniper cannon to take her out.  If I cared.


Cavemen isn’t a total flop, more like a hairier My Name is Earl with no chemistry between actors and 1/4th the laffs.


I’m a big fan of Satan but haven’t seen Reaper, primarily because a fat fuck with a faux-hawk is the lead, secondarily because the Devil looks like a fake-tanned used car salesman.  Fat Fuck with a Faux-hawk is a much better kickass show name.


As with “norpography” I’m mostly over TV.  There’s just nothing out there to hold my interest, it’s all geared to ADD youngsters Ages 4-34.

Fuck ’em. I’ll dream my own dreams.

Got nuthin but exploding melon

Saturday, 13 October 2007

I’m glad to have this weekend off as a coda to a solid week of doing…nothing, having the week off and just watching TV, recorded TV to be sure, but in the end most of it crap.

With modern TV, even the subjects you find interesting are presented helplessly stunted and slow, trapped inside the TV format, e.g. fucking Mythbusters has to reexplain every stunt after every commercial break. As my old man pointed out, these shows are for fried people coming home from work who don’t want to think, they just want to be entertained.  Fair enough , but is it really impossible to entertain and move information quickly? In the Age of Tivo, you can always rewind.

You already know this, but you can absorb a lot more information in 5 minutes of reading or even surfing than watching TV.

In other news, I revise my opinion–slightly–of “Supergirl” on Smallville. She has competent TV acting ability but hardly a rack, and her hair needs a major overhaul. C’mon, didn’t you know she was going to explode that melon all over Clark? And Lana still needs to die, for real. Make it turn out the idiot is a clone or something. For Kryp’s sakes there are now THREE lovely bitches who know Clark’s “secret”, four if you count Annette O’Toole (and I do).

Television sickness

Sunday, 7 October 2007

Father Time and my shit job conspired to bring me several days off in a row; I’ve wasted two of them ‘catching up’ on TV, most of it junk.  Mythbusters is a fun show, but it’s not going to help me get anywhere in life.  Neither is Family Guy, The Simpsons (hasn’t been funny for years), Kitchen Nightmares, Smallville, Futureweapons, shows about snipers and a few ultimate/combat “reality” shows which don’t teach shit.

 I haven’t watched a whole day of TV in years.  It’s worse than heroin; not even Tivo can organize it all and there’s so much crap by sheer volume a sleepless immortal couldn’t absorb a tenth of it.

 It is sickness.  I’ve got to break free of its evil.  Three hours of Mythbusters to go.