Jesus Christ versus a pococurante

When I first saw him he reminded me of a failed auditioner for a boy band, mostly because of the his white t-shirt underlying a thin print-pattern shirt with open sides billowing as if underwater as he paced, seemingly lost.

When I saw him again he was loudly singing songs referencing Jesus. Those around him seemed disturbed by this, but he was in his own world. He was there because he had a problem with something, and because I was at work, it was now my problem and job to help. As I helped him he asked, “Have you been Saved?” I wasn’t looking at him when I answered, “Well, I’m working here…” Meaning “Fuck No”.

Up close, Boy Band’s face was smooth and fresh but his eyes were puffy and tired. He explained how he was now 25 and had done every drug possible and hit bottom before trying God. And lo, Jesus had Saved him!

While not technically a Christian myself, I believed that Christ Jesus had indeed helped Boy Band, along with the peer pressure of the church, but I didn’t think the experience made Boy Band any smarter or more lucid; whatever potential he had before frying his circuits with drugs would remain lost. Well shit, he was only 25. Why judge?

I was mildly insulted that a “ki-dult” (25 is the real beginning of adulthood) would preach to someone older (me) but Boy Band’s torpid joy seemed real enough, and those Saved early on have a much harder road ahead of them than those who convert later (after fucking and drugging, sins denied me due to hating people).

Being at work, I only offered grunts of acknowledgment. As a customer, Boy Band could say whatever he wanted, while I was a slave. No employee enjoys this imbalance but then, I really didn’t have anything to add to his sluggish exuberance. If I wanted to risk losing the job I would’ve told Boy Band my minority opinion, which as a fundamentalist/former-druggie-now-Saved he would’ve found unacceptable: Jesus Christ is the answer, but not the only answer, there are infinite paths to God.

Boy Band said he’d say a prayer for me that night.

That was yesterday and I feel no different. I hope the positive effects of his prayer are delayed because tonight is another lottery drawing and the pot is 37 mil.

** ** ** ** ** **

Christ alone will never do it for me. I’m personally offended that He would deign to heal broken hearts when He Himself never tasted the pain of a variety of human failures, including rejection from a woman loved.

Now older than Christ at the time of his exit, I await death with the curse of a healthy body. Suicide would just leave God with a way to change the subject for calling Him out on the many, many fucked-up and stupid ways things are run around here.

So I wait, while somewhere out there Boy Band plans to be a counselor helping drug addicts. I am confident God has a few surprises left for both of us. It’s why I own a gun.

BASTARD children deserve no ice cream: an interview companion

BASTARD children deserve no ice cream? That was a pretty fucked-up last post there. You hate children?

I don’t even think about children unless goaded or one is around being a fatherless self-centered asshole. I don’t go out of my way to hurt children. I just don’t like them around. Paedophobia.

There was a child on the premises not long ago…

The mother is a fatass friend of the family. I would’ve hit it if it was offered. Big tasty breasts.

Such a romantic. Are you on drugs?

Many.

Aren’t you just pissed off your “vacation” is over?

The only real vacation is death. Yes, I am angry at the holiday respite ending. For me, anyway.

You sound unhappy.

I am.

Any reason to go on?

None. I ate everything and smoked everything. The Fatty mother is long gone and the place is too crowded to jack off. I lose.

You were pretty mean to single mothers with those last comments.

Single mothers are women who chose someone else. Why should I care how they feel?

Change your attitude and you change your altitude.

I changed my altitude with God’s Smoke. Now you’re harshing my mellow.

Sorry. Any last words?

Why not combine posts? Check out this fascist asshole’s commentary.

He thinks rising oceans due to global warming are going to “wash away” the red states. When will people wake up to the menace of Green Fascism? Left-wing activists: Nature’s organic clowns.