Posts Tagged ‘wtf’

A brief spike in traffic

Wednesday, 14 February 2018

For 3 days running I had over 100 views to the site, akin to a miracle.  I’m not that interesting, so it must’ve all been for recent Jeopardy! contestant Rachel Lindgren.

It’s my duty to warn you thirsty nerds AGAIN that smart women are not a solution to anything and being a sapiosexual is a road to nowhere.  If she’s smart while you’re enamored (subtract 25 IQ points for each boob and asscheek) you’re in QUADRUPLE the danger of being manipulated.  Not that I overly give a shit what happens to you, you’re probably better off than me.

I believe this blog is now 10 or 11 years old, which means little because I rarely posted after 2009, was it?  It has brought me neither joy nor grief, certainly no money or gavina.  I don’t read my own shit so I’ve forgotten most of it, except to remember impassioned movie reviews about Batman (pointless) or politics (far more pointless) and cussing out my wage slave job while doing nothing to improve my lot in life.

Two things happened in the last 5 years which changed the entire arc of my  inclinations, I got out of the shit job and I “discovered” whores.  Also, my father died  at 73 of natural causes, if you count lung cancer as natural.

The whores saved my life.  Once I was getting laid fairly regularly all the Mysteries of Womanhood evaporated, which was bittersweet, but poetry is either written out of your system or it burns you from the inside out like drinking bleach.  Poetry IS drinking bleach, usually for the reader. 

The women’s humanity made me less of a misogynist, and it even seemed a few of them enjoyed the ride beyond getting paid.  (I haven’t been laid in over a year due to health problems so that’s on pause.)

I’m closer to 50 than 40 now.  I’m not better than I was in 2006, but like to think I’ve learned much the last 10 or 11 years.  I wouldn’t trade my scant “life’s work” of writing for falling in love.   

Here are the final lines from a long ago poem.

I know it’s coming, death or a balloon.

The slitted eyes of a petted cat.

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MORE Funny as Hell youtube comments

Thursday, 24 June 2010

Ah yes, more random funny as hell youtube comments. In Shakespeare’s day, the crowds of rabble didn’t hesitate to throw rotten tomatoes, cabbages and other things when the play sucked ass.  Our modern rabble, er, critics (barely) type instead of throw.

Youtubers are barely a level above real tubers, that is, potato heads.  I include myself in that anonymous crowd of rabble with 55-gallon drums of venom and nowhere to go but to the keyboard.

The human race is insane.  It’s why God didn’t bother to make the Bible make sense.

As usual, horrible spelling has been left intact.


 

I think we’ve all been the lord of darkness at some point in our lives, I’m about to reach that stage

This video has urged me to defecate in space.

sadly, this is not the only time dairy products have been rapped about.

I hope this guy gets paid good, cause i wouldn’t do this unless i was either drunk, or so high i losted half of my brain.

can you take of you bakini?

boomerangs are for people who don’t have friends.

i thought the story was so simple it was almost insulting to the audience. the special effects were like dangling keys in front of a dog.

Shut the fuck up you degenerate piece of shit. Your generalizations due little to compliment your intellect. I know quite a few roofers who could buy your house in full and use it as a toilet.

When I was little, I got raped by puppets too. (smile)

I would like to hire the Angel Force to clean my apartment. It looks like they do a good job.

When I was a kid I wanted a monkey and a semi-tractor.  Now as an adult I just want someone to play with my monkey as a semi passes.

They need to put warnings on the box about how good this new pizza is. I just spent 20 minutes cleaning jizz off my keyboard after I tried the new recipe!

I wish I could coment on this. but I do not want to make a mistake.

I now envy the blind and def.

he has a really nice tan. i’d wear his skin around my apartment for sure.

that almost better than tits

u sir, are and idiot.

White muggers? Is this science fiction??

AT LAST!  A MOVIE ABOUT TALKING DOGS!

I wonder if her dookey is different colorss? Hah, who am I kidding, girls don’t poop.

That poor, poor ottoman. I don’t even know gay men that do this…

i still find it hard to understand why people with an IQ of 5 manage to make millions of dollars by doing jack shit

Funny as Hell youtube comments

Wednesday, 18 November 2009

I’ve been sitting on these for some time, letting the collection grow like magical crystals made of excrement. They’re funnier without context; I’ve mostly forgotten where I found them. Horrible spelling has been left intact.

I used to steam with envy at the two doofii who created youtube and got half-a-billion each from google. Now I think they were underpaid. As this blog makes some people feel better about their own lives, so the subnormals on youtube make my day every day. We begin…


I enjoy things that are not this.

take your filty black hands off me Nigger I love that line and im black

YOU SUCK GREAT BIG GREASY DONKEY NUTS

Hey..we all need a hobby…..and mine is to come in here and drag your sorry ass throught the pig shit.

You love it, and you know it.

You suck at grammar. You suck in real life too. Also, you’re not funny.

Kids talking about bloodshed. This is twisted, but for some reason hilarious…it’s like watching a bear maul someone. It’s horrible, yet somehow hilarious.

LOL ANGRY PEOPLE AND DEAD BABIES ? Im going to jerk off now =D

for the record it would have been funny if she had been skiny, but seeing those fat cankles go up in the air was just gravy.

It’s supposed to be a dream. A really freaky dream. Like she ate a couple of sausage pizzas by herself freaky.

people like this just have mental issues. it’s not natural to broadcast inner feelings to the known world.?

You’d be hot, but your nose is like..wow
Fix that

I’m surprised you can say anything at all, considering America’s cock is in your mouth.

—-

go rape a llama and take your ego with you

shut up, youre a pussy, you hide behind the safety of the internet to insult… well guess what its fucking cowardous. So shut your little mouth, grow some balls and get rid of your fucking vagina. woman.

That’s it…just go back into your balloon fortress…

When you are truly ready to communicate with somebody on an intellectual level, give me a call. Until then, enjoy living out your grandmothers basement spankin the ham to anime.

P.S. your mother sould’ve swallowed you.

it wasen’t ment to be coherent, it was just a bunch of statement thrown into a pile of retards, fuck yous and cunts

Yes!!! Oh my god could you imagine pig hunting with this?!?!?!

i wana stick my cock in the exhaust YA DIG

I just broke my keyboard in rage


some people should not have cameras if they don’t know how to contribute anything worthwhile. This is such an example.

Don’t bother replying, the internet exists for the sole purpose of conveying what I think.

bloodwords: We will not be undersold!

Sunday, 27 September 2009

The bum on the corner holds his sign: ANY AMOUNT WELCOME GOD BLESS. Whether he’s scamming or not he’s superior, he can toss away self-respect or dignity long enough to collect coin, and everything he makes he keeps, no tax. What good is self-respect if it doesn’t pay off?

*******

Welcome to The world’s shortest love story! I found a matchbook in the street. I ignored all of the matches still intact, noticing only the space where one had been ripped out and used. That was the match I wanted.

*******

Kayaking. Why?

*******

Frisbee on the roof, neon orange plastic bleached white by the sun. What does this have to do with winter? It’s over.

*******

Giant tortoises never write books, or maybe they do, they just procrastinate the first 100 years.

*******

Why are you surprised by problems? So much of our economy is based on people that never learn.

*******

I read the obituaries, aka People You Will Never Meet. It’s the only part of the paper promising an end to suffering.

*******

Only very still fish prefer to swim in formaldehyde.

*******

I can’t cry.

More stand-up comedy?

Thursday, 22 January 2009

I did stand-up again last night.

It’s only been 1 year, 4 months, 17 days since the last time I went up.

I rehearsed the most for this one and even got a few laffs.

I realized something last night about stand-up comedy:  I genuinely hate it, yet it’s the only thing I have any talent for doing.

Please take what I have to say next lightly:

I hate crowds, I hate bars and bartenders.  I hate booze, it all burns and tastes like rubbing alcohol and is overpriced.  I hate barmaids and their big or small tits.  I hate tipping.  I hate single women, married women and those in between.  I hate single mothers.  I hate other comics. I hate weakness.  I hate memorizing lines. I hate driving to the club.  I hate not knowing what to wear.  I hate drymouth.  I hate the crowd for being dumb, lapping up the same old shit.  I hate black comics for getting a free pass for being black and loud, not funny.  I hate female comics getting laughs cause some guys might think they have a shot.  I hate couples.  I hate the microphone.  I hate the brick wall.  I hate the spotlights.  I hate the dumbass names of comedy clubs.  I hate the cheesy music.  I hate saxophones.  I hate the MC.  I hate the headliner.  I hate 99% of jokes.  I hate relationships and “just broke up with my girlfriend”.  I hate married humor, fat humor, black humor, drug humor, trendy humor, liberal humor, gay humor.  I hate your sex life.  I hate the PA system.  I hate the front row.  And the back row.  And the middle. I  hate the food runners and club food.   I hate hecklers.  I hate heavy silence.  I hate cheap laughs.  I hate going home alone but more than that I hate leaving home.

I hate comedy and I hate God for only giving me half-a-gift for it.

I hate that this rant is over but it’s time to take a shit.

That’s my time, good night.

Spoiled Midget Paradox

Sunday, 29 June 2008

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