I asked random women at work if they were ever attracted to midgets or would go out with midgets. Most didn’t know any and one said the midget thing wasn’t a big deal, it’s “other things” that mattered.

“You mean like if he could rock a guitar?”

She left the room without answering.

I told another broad, “The best part about being a midget must be food. It must seem so huge every meal is like Thanksgiving…you could live off a single Big Mac for a week.”

I told a guy who walked into the break room that it must really suck being a midget in Ireland.

Finally, I told one last woman at work that if I were a midget, I’d team up with another midget and go to clubs, enticing women into doing “men-idget-a-tois” with us.

“Being with two midgets equals being with one regular-height guy, so there’s no feeling like a slut. That’s the selling point!”

People at work think I’m weird. They are right. Fortunately they laugh.

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