Archive for January, 2008

Fuckfield #22

Wednesday, 30 January 2008

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Women are like chimps who trade sex for bananas

Wednesday, 30 January 2008

There’s a part-timer at work I’ll call “Roids” who gets all the girls wet.  I’m older and wiser than him but those things don’t matter with the ladies, only money, looks and “attitude”.

Even if I were Roids’ physical clone the ladies would still treat me with indifferent indifference, just like they do now.   I can be just as risqué as Roids and a hell of a lot funnier, but my weirder thoughts can and do ruin the moment.  Because I don’t use my brain to make money it brings only pain and isolation, so I hate people and that’s what shines through.  “Life is a tragedy for those who feel”.

Observing Roids has taught me that women are just as sluttish and shallow as any man, drunk or sober.  It’s not a female weakness but a human one.

Do you think I take delight in pointing out that at heart, women are all a bunch of filthy whores?

Do you? 

If you answered “Yes” then you are wrong.  It rips apart my heart like those fish hooks on chains in the Hellraiser movies. 
“There’s no such thing as a good woman.  Not in France.  Not in Philippines. Not in America.  Not anywhere.”

–Pinoy who’s doing his sister-in-law; from a short story by John Fante

Jeopardy! blues online

Wednesday, 30 January 2008

Editor’s note:  this post is from January of 2008.

I got my ass handed to me by the Jeopardy! online test yesterday.

The test was 50 questions total with 10 seconds to answer each. You had to type in each answer, but not in the form of a question and not with perfect spelling.

I would be surprised if I got 20 questions correct. We’ll never know because you don’t receive your score, just a note indicating whether you passed or failed.

My assumption is that ever since trivia prick Ken Jennings became the first Jeopardy! millionaire, the number of eggheads, poindexters, dweebs, nerds, brains, bookworms, quarks, swotters, know-it-alls, idiot savantes, tenure-less profs and grad students trying to get on the show has grown exponentially.

There are probably thousands of people who took the online test who got every single question right, thus when my rejection email arrives soon it won’t be a shock at all.

I don’t give a shit, I’d rather just win the state lottery, it’s near-effortless.

Fuckfield #13

Wednesday, 30 January 2008

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Fuckfield #27

Wednesday, 30 January 2008

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Fuckfield #8

Wednesday, 30 January 2008

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Fuckfield #17

Wednesday, 30 January 2008

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Fuckfield #23

Wednesday, 30 January 2008

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Complainers

Wednesday, 30 January 2008

broken over the knees of phantoms
bleeding resentment
angry at what can’t be changed
angrier at what can,

not giving a fuck or taking one
hearts afloat in bitterness
like sponges at a high school car wash

raising funds for the funeral of hope.

they don’t want to hear it
they already know it
they’re eating themselves
with needless rage,
fine,
except they always
chew so loudly.

Fuckfield #34

Wednesday, 30 January 2008

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